When do we start our second childhood?

dorcas

I am 59 (honest!) and have only just taken early retirement.

I still have all my own teeth; still have brown hair (mostly); still can dress myself, eat without dribbling, go to the loo without having an 'accident' on the way :oops: and can count to ten...even count backwards.

why oh why then have people started treating me like an 'old fogey'?

the worst culprits :?: my very own and dearly loved family. :shock:

I thought it was funny to begin with when my sweet and lovely grandchild Tom (aged 4) started saying things like:
'Nana I don't think you can do that'

..and ok there [/i]are some things that are more difficult with arther holding court....

but now my own dearly loved daughters are getting in on the act. :shock:

I know they mean well but I'm not ready to hand over decisions..yet..(if ever) and I don't need checking on, talking to in that 'special' way reserved for the 'absent' minded (as in brain gone missing) or be given advice that I've not asked for!

I definitely don't need anyone helping me to choose what I wear, eat, shop or decide when I go to bed, go to the loo or where I go for my hols. :?

so tell me this....

when did I cross the line from being a thinking, capable individual to entering my second childhood. :?: :roll:

and....are you there already?

Iris x

skezier

Hi Iris old girl

I am sorry but well play em for all you can and then spring the joke back on em......My Nan used to do that all the time

Your grandson is just looking out for you but your kids well at least they care. I am so lucky, I didn't have a childhood of much as a kid so went into it when I left home and still in the first one I am also lucky in respect of the fact I am alone and don't have people looking out for me as such...... I have spent years now trying to get friends to understand ever since my injury got my back so bad when in my 20's........ People always think backs = swing the lead worse than they do the bone thing actually! So the arthritis and age hasn't changed how I am seen really............

I do get vague and sometimes its deliberate Just remember you are still you and it's your life and they mean well but maybe you could actually talk to them and just say your finding it a bit demeaning and claustrophobic?

Hey you had better sit down and don't drink coffee as the caffeine might get you...... are you tired..... Sorry iris I am absolutely sure they are just being concerned but I think I would play them back if I were you Luv and a ((( ))) Cris who is younger than you but not by much xx

dorcas

skezier wrote:

Hi Iris old girl ............ Luv and a ((( ))) Cris who is younger than you but not by much xx

Hiya Cris!

Cheeky bizzim! trust you to play the 'younger than me' card.

....honest, I'm not annoyed by all this sudden attention (and I know that I am lucky to have a great family) but it really struck me that I must have suddenly acquired a label on my forehead...invisible to me but obvious to others...that says 'Handle with Care: old but much loved batty woman '

I just wanted to share the thought with others and have a laugh about it!

....I like the thought of 'playing them along' though ...mmmmm...could have some fun with that.

you are a norty girl Cris!!


Iris x

elnafinn

definately NOT at 59 years old, Iris - we are the same age, you and me. I am a December babe!

My gorgeous daughter looks out for me and says things like, don't overdo it mum, but that is because she loves me, no other reason. My son too, but then I do still have my uses, babysitting, ironing shirts, cooking and baking, when he calls round.

I think every now and again, I surprise them with what I do achieve! got to keep them on their toes as well!

Luv
Elna x

ninakang

Second childhood? Do what I intend to do and just never let go of yur first!

I'm 33 and my parents are in their 60s - with no health complications whatsoever (touch wood), they are probably in better shape than their kids - they say it's down to the fact that they don't eat anything not cooked at home and never learned to drive so walk to most place.

I definitely wouldn't call them old. My dad who's 65, walks faster than our girls, has no trouble keeping up with them. When they complain to me about having to run after him on school runs, I tell them to put up with it and walk faster - we had to!

Nx

PS - You're only as old as your mentality. Which is why I'll always be 12 :-)

mellman01

I still haven't got out of me first one yet!, the only thing left is senility for me!, dribble moan incoherent rambblings!?. :shock:

dorcas

mellman01 wrote:

.the only thing left is senility for me!, dribble moan incoherent rambblings!?. :shock:

are you SURE you haven't started. :?:

forgive me mellman.... couldn't resist!!!

Iris x

dorcas

ninakang wrote:

Second childhood? Do what I intend to do and just never let go of yur first!

PS - You're only as old as your mentality. Which is why I'll always be 12 :-)

well said Nina!!
I'm not sure what my mental age is but 12 is a good age...... still too young for any real responsibility and too old to be ignored!!!
':D'

Iris x

dorcas

rehab44 wrote:

I used to like you!

...and I thought you loved me too..




Iris x

dorcas

elnafinn wrote:

definately NOT at 59 years old, Iris - we are the same age, you and me. I am a December babe!

I think every now and again, I surprise them with what I do achieve! got to keep them on their toes as well!

Luv
Elna x

hey Elna 1951 was a very good year.

I like your style ....'surprise them ' and keeping them on their toes...that should do it. Either that or they'll be convinced I'm do lally.

Iris x

angel1

Oh Iris, you took me back a bit there, nine years actually.

After Frank died, my boys became unbelievably over protective. This, of course, was quite understandable, and to be honest it was so lovely, for a time. However, on one occasion when they were talking about me as if I wasn`t there......you know the sort of thing......"You come this weekend, and I`ll come the following one", and we`ll".....I just yelled "ENOUGH". I told them I wanted them to come home, as they had always done, whenever they wanted to, and not because they felt they must. No way was I going to become a burden, and anyway, I could still run rings around them!! I said I would tell them if I needed anything, but that I was quite capable of coping.

This has worked well, although I know they do worry a lot, and are in touch, on a daily basis. When I see them, I make sure I`m always looking my best, and we have the most fun. My elder son was here last weekend, and as I saw him off, hugged me, and said"You`re a Star Mum". They`re not daft, they know the score, and appreciate it. That makes it all worth while......Ange.

dorcas

angel1 wrote:

on one occasion when they were talking about me as if I wasn`t there......you know the sort of thing......"You come this weekend, and I`ll come the following one", and we`ll".....I just yelled "ENOUGH".

Hi Ange,

you are right of course...it is over protectiveness.
I found out (grandchildren make good spies) that my two daughters have been discussing between them who should go on holiday/ and when, so that one of them is 'around'...I'm not sure what they imagine I'll do if they are both away at the same time. :roll:

I know it has to do with arther's recent fierce attacks and my next surgery coming up soon.....they (my sweet daughters) see what arther's doing to me and they worry, so their natural reaction is to go into 'rescue' mode. I suppose, like you, part of how they view my 'need' and their 'responsibility' is that I too live alone.

It feels very strange to be considered in any way 'vulnerable' because that is not who and what I am...or ready to become.
so any shift in roles does not fit with my self view.(if that makes sense?)

I have jokingly challenged them about (what is) their anxiety and how I am still the same mum and neither fragile nor doddery nor in my second childhood.

maybe I need to SHOUT it out?...x

Iris x

ninakang

I find it very hard to patronise or give advice to a mum and dad who aren't adverse to giving me a clip round the ear for cheek every now and again, even in my 30s :-)

And Iris, yes, I liked the age of 12 for the very same reason - knew we had that special connection. I was beginning to grow up, leaving my toys behind, but still thought boys were disgusting :-)

Nx

dorcas

delboy wrote:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!

Fabulous, delboy!!! now THAT's living life to the full.

I think I'll print out that wonderful advice for life... in large bold letters and have it framed for all to see. Much more effective.

great, I love it. thanks

Iris x

joanlawson

Hi Iris

Just remember that 60 is the new 40, and you haven't yet begun :!:

In the words of John Lennon:

Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun.

You've got plenty more shining to do yet :!:

dorcas

joanlawson wrote:

You've got plenty more shining to do yet :!:

Hiya Joan

thanks for that. I do have more shining to do!.



before I forget who / where I am!



Iris x