depression???

psyart
psyart Member Posts: 600
edited 22. Apr 2010, 02:47 in Living with Arthritis archive
hi - have been back to see the doctor today - his request to see me after 1 month - and after my talk with Rhummy nurse on friday - i have admitted that i am suffering from depression!!! i do find this hard to admit - as i feel i should be able to cope!!! but what they both say makes sense to the way i feel!!! nurse has said that i am being too hard on myself and if i think about what i am doing in my life than even without coping with 'arthur' it would be stressful for anyone!!!! Doctor said that coping with a chronic disease as well as coping with the side effects of methrx than its not supprising I am depressed!!!!

Why are we hard on ourselves? If a friend came to me and discribed what i feel, then i would tell them to stop and take it easy and listen to their bodies, BUT when it comes to myself, i feel i should be able to do more than i can now!!!!! do others feel like this?? i do feel that i need to accept what is going on but this is so hard!!! the nurse said that it can take years to accept 'arthur' and the problems that go with it!!!! the hospital has given me sleeping tablets to help the night time so hopfully this will help!!!! but i do feel that my positive attitude has disapeared and even in this lovely weather, things are hard!!! but i am also constantly telling myself to get on with things!!!!!

sorry for going on - how do others feel??!!!!!

Louise
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Comments

  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 20. Apr 2010, 02:57
    Hi Louise, look don't beat yaself up over depression, bin there got the T shirt etc, it took me a few months to tell the wife I had been put on Prozac.
    It's really hard to deal with the pain on it's own let alone all the other things life seems to throw at you, as I told my company OC health Doctor if you subject a person to relentless pain they will break it's a known fact, but for some reason the logic car breaks down there, as it seems to be the norm that if you have Arthritis if you do your expected to be able to walk on hot coals on your elbows and have your teeth filled without any novacaine. I always remeber my GP's response when I asked for help, he said pain meds alone can make you low as they deplete your serotonin levels, so just remmber your not alone with this trust me many on here are in the same boat.
    So don't worry I/we all understand how it is, and anyway you can't be a mad as me, I mean I've never meet anyone on here who is that's for sure, well maybe rehab!.:roll:
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise - yes I think a lot of us are the same - we push and push ourselves, but if anyone else came to us for advice in the same shoes - we would probably advise them to rest and take it easy and look after themselves!!!

    I guess it is a case of working out a midpoint that we can be happy/live with.

    I read a post on the forum some where about going with the flow and enjoying the times when we feel fine (or as good as we are going to feel) and letting these times help us through the bad times when we are having more pain and stiffness.

    The thing is, when the pain is really bad and you are not sleeping (and as in your case you are getting used to meds) it is hard to focus on the fact that it can only get better.

    Hang in there and let the professionals, family and friends support you. And us lot too.

    Speedalong
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi was there last year did not even think could go on hol as felt awfull and was sure would be il if went. but had some good meds of doc and went so glad i did as it made me feel so much better more positive . you do have to be nice to your self listen to your body and allow your self to say i do not feel well today so will take it easy
    val
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise
    You are not on your own, I think a lot of us have gone through this, it is so natural not to want to admit it, but you are doing the right thing getting help, you will get there, and we are all here when you need us.
    You take care of yourself
    Love
    barbara xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • chris7
    chris7 Bots Posts: 2,696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Louise

    Well done for posting this and admitting you are struggling with depression. It is far more common than we like to feel and you are most certainly not alone. Seeing your doc, and rheumy nurse for support is absolutely OK. Try not to feel you doing something wrong you are not. Accept the help that is offered, there is no shame and you do deserve it.
    If the sleep gets better that's a good start, and other meds can help, things do get easier to cope with. There are alot of us on here wearing that particular tee shirt love, it must be a bit smelly by now :lol: We do understand where you are coming from.
    Hang in there and keep posting.

    Chris x
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise,

    You are one gutsy lady....you may not feel it , or believe it just now but I know it takes a lot of inner strength to do what you have done and admit to depression. To be able to share with the nurse and the doc how you have been feeling and discuss what is very personal to you is such a great achievement.

    You will cope......you have taken the most important steps on getting the support and treatment to help you and I'm so glad for you.x we are all right behind you. x

    The nurse and doc are right of course...you judge yourself too hard. It seems to be something we do...expecting more of ourselves than we would ever ask of anyone else. As though we are super human.

    I don't know why that is...maybe it's the constant battle with arther and pain that doesn't allow us to feel or recognise our other limitations so that we push ourselves far too hard. An attempt to hold it all together no matter what?!
    Accepting arther is harder than coping with the disease itself...does that sound mad? but it is, as far as I'm concerned, a battle in itself.

    I'm so glad you have had this meeting with your doc and hope that you can get some rest with the new meds the hospital prescribed for night time...... lots of us are on them!

    This is difficult for you but you need to give yourself some time and your positive attitude will return...it's like convalescing from any illness..you have to wait, be patient and above all be kind to yourself.

    more love and (((Hugs)))

    Iris x
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise
    Don't think you are moaning or groaning in vain. Everyone here is supportive and caring and has, is and continues to go through just what you are feeling. I too suffer from depression and receive what is now long term treatment to help relieve the symptoms. Pills are not miracle workers when it comes to ones feelings and state of mind, but they do help, albeit if it seems very slow at times.
    Arthritis, in its many forms, is debilitating, frustrating, depressing, causes anger, anxiety, changes in mood, fatigue from pain etc.
    We do push, sometimes too much, as I and others know too well, but that is a person's determination to try and do whatever they can. I know it is hard, but accepting and admitting a problem, is a great step forward and you should be proud of yourself. It wasn't easy to tell, even my OH, let alone close family, so well done you. I hope you have a great GP and other medical staff, it sounds like you do. Take lots of care, rest as you need to, says me, who does too much on a regular basis :roll: XXX Bubbles.
    XX Aidan (still known as Bubbles).
  • psyart
    psyart Member Posts: 600
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    A Big thank you and lots hugs (((((())))) to all of you!! thank you so much for the kind words - makes me want to cry!!!! a lot of what you have written makes sense to me - and i will try to just look at today rather that tomorrow!!!!

    I havnt been able to talk to my OH yet, as i know i will burst into tears and that upsets him aswell!!! he is really good to me, he knows when i am not very good and doesnt complain at all, but putting it into words will be very hard!!! I do feel guilty even though he is so good to me, and sometimes this can make us worst!!!!

    This forum is a godsend and reading your comments shows just how much support we can give to each other when things look bad!!

    Thank you again!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Louise xx
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  • mummyb
    mummyb Member Posts: 1,231
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise, just wanted to say that I know how you're feeling as this happened to me too. I think when I got my diagnosis I went into shock and like you couldn't do anything without crying. Thankfully my GP recognised the symptoms and I too am on medication. within a couple of weeks I started to feel more like my old self. I'm still in quite a bit of pain and have started being woken by it at night over the past week but generally I feel much better in myself and more able to cope with things. I really hope you start to feel better soon. Arthritis seems to take a bit of getting used to and just when it feels under control another bit seems to flare up. I'm trying to stay positive and hope that you will be able to soon too. Lots of hugs and best wishes :):):):(
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise,

    I am late to see this, sorry. I really do think its something we all go through. I certainly did years ago and well its a horrible place to be and for me my way out was counselling and visualization and relaxing.meditation. I am lucky cus I have drifted all my life and it worked well for me, especially the counseling.

    Mine wasn't actually cu of the arthritis..... I have other conditions and when they hit I was so unwell, really unwell and my way of life was in danger, it did actually have to change. I couldn't have got through it without the counselor.

    I Think your oh will want to know and well I so hope you will soon feel better about it all.

    Luv and a ((( )))

    Cris x
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    if you can not get the words out write it down and give to him to read it does help if you cry you will not say all you want to . arther is not just aches and pains it messes with your whole life this is what people do not get they just think aches and pains but it so much more it takes over your life and you need time to adjust and get control back good luck you will get there a day at a time
    val
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HELLO, Its always so much easier to give advice than take it! Thats my problem quite often, especially something like depression, which I hate having to admit to suffering from, but I do and can't help it.

    I think that by admitting to the nurse that you feel depressed, you've made a big step towards feeling better and comming to terms with it. We all suffer a bit from depression at times, but sometimes it does overwhelm you and thats when you need a good support system, like the nurse ect. My GP's very good for me.

    Take care, love Sue
  • psyart
    psyart Member Posts: 600
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi and thanks to all again for replying! am still trying to deal with what I have admitted to the doctor and nurse!!! not sure what to do next?? am going to give my self a few days of thinking and talking to myself about sorting myself out and accepting that things are not ok!!! I look around me and try to make myself look at the positive things that are going around me!! I need to talk to the OH still but am finding this hard but I will do it!! Learning not to be so hard on myself is another matter - but I will try!!!

    Thanks again to everyone for the lovely replies - it means a lot to me!!

    Louise xxxxxxx
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  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Louise,

    just wanted to send you more (((hugs))) and let you know we are here for you. :wink:

    hope that you do find the words to explain to hubby how you are feeling; I'm sure he will want to help you and may be relieved that you are getting advice and meds from your doc and nurse.
    My son has chronic depression and when he told me he was getting support and starting on meds, I know that's how I felt.

    Including your OH will strengthen you and bring you closer together. Even though you think he will be upset he will also be very glad you shared this with him.

    don't hesitate to post and let us support you....x

    Iris x