Just an observation.

mellman01

Well it’s been around a month since I had a really bad flare and right now my OA seems almost dormant, what this hiatus has show me this time is how much my OA effects me on a physiological level, the longer this period of calm goes on for the stronger my mind becomes, but on a down side the more of a fraud I feel as I have been to work all this week and don’t even limp much at the moment, it’s also odd but every time I have a period of calm like now I always seem to forget very fast just how painful and debilitating OA is. But when a flare kicks in I also go down really fast as I suddenly remember with deep clarity just what I have coming to visit me.
Also I can’t and never have been able to ever get my head around the way this illness comes and goes like it does!?, it’s just not logical and I am sure it’s the main problem that those who don’t have this illness have with understanding it or even accepting that it is even real and not a mental disorder.

Right sorry about that but I thought I would post my thoughts while they are wandering around in my mind. Well there's plenty of room for it in there. :roll:

dippydoodah

I totally agree with you.

I have moments when Im feeling quite well. My aches and pains are low, sometimes non-existant, not very often but sometimes and I feel like a fake. I know its all in my head and when Im back to my usual bad day, I feel silly for feeling like that but its just the way I feel. On the rare really good days, Im walking fairly freely and active enough to get alot of jobs done and feel guilty :oops: for feeling good???

Ive had many a thought like yours and you are definately not alone Im sure...

fourferrets

I get the same way too
I was feeling good last week after a long but low flare, Then I was wondering if my RA had gone away! yeah right lol

After a bit if gardening and some shopping, A handful of stiff fingers, wrist pain and a dodgy knee soon remind where I am really :P

woodbon

Hi,
I sometimes wonder, on a good day, if I'm making a big fuss about nothing and start to make plans about looking for some kind of work, decorating the upstairs corridor and all sorts of things. I even feel guilty if I meet someone I used to work with, thinking I shouldn't have left, although, in fact, they retired me.

Then I wake up feeling awful and the pains have come back and I have to realise that things have really changed. Sometimes I don't bother to take my painkillers, as I think I don't need them, I even let myself run out of the prescription drugs. The pain comes back and I know that I am taking them for a reason! Its almost a relief! :oops: Love Sue

speedalong

Hi Mellman, I do know what you mean. I have good spells and bad spells and when I'm on a good spell I begin to think maybe my problems have gone away and I really don't need an op in the future and the pain becomes a distant memory ... and then I aggravate it and quickly remember what it is like on a bad day.

I have had two good days on the trot and it makes me question the need for my op ... but then I notice how slow I walk and that I need a stick and then because I feel good I'm a bit ambitious and don't use the stick on the stairs and they I start to ache and I remember and realise that I do need the op really/

Enjoy the good spells and hope they last a long time.

Speedalong

PS lighter, longer and warmer days help my wellbeing and that of my joints too.

joyful164

Hi Delboy

I have good periods when I start doing too much and forget about my locking toes, ankles. Then suddenly, wham, it reminds me that I am not making it all up. I have to remember that I will never get better than I am, or so I have been told by my Rheumy nurse.

Is she suppose to say things like that?

Hope you are having a good weekend!

Joy

frogmorton

Hi Mell

good thread this one.

Might just be the root of one of the problems - why it hits you like a bolt from the blue when it flares up and why you 'forget' it when it doesn't, why others struggle to understand it etc....

I am very very pleased for you that all is ok at the moment and long may it continue.

Love

Toni xx

mellman01

Hi Tony and hi, all thanks for the replies they confirm my observation then, it's a real s*%t that it's fairly inactive right now as I am having serious problems with HR at work, I sm being treated by line managment as if I am making a lot of it up, I can't blame them even me so called best mate told me there's nothing wrong with me, none of them see me when I am having a bloody flare.
It's odd how people can turn on you at a glance, although I like him I must say I am exhausted at trying to avoid any arguments with him about me and my OA, oh well off to Wallingford to get a leg of lamb in a while, got me mum coming round, now she does understand how things are, she has bad OA of her hip and knee, she really needs both replaced, she is trying to move into a bungalow at the moment, she can't get up stairs easily now these days.

caprica

Yeah I empathtise with you there too.

Some days I feel 99% of my old self and think 'oh it's not that bad', and then for no reason one morning you wake up with sausage fingers again and feel terrible.

Of course both times Ive been to the rheumatologist was when I had pretty much no swelling.. typical! Good thing that cameras exist...

dreamdaisy

Hello, I'm Dreamdaisy and I'm new. It is confusing, isn't it? I cannot work out what triggers a flare, so I've given up trying. I wasn't diagnosed for 9 years and I'm lucky, I suppose, that you can see what's wrong with me 'cos I can't walk without crutches, and haven't done since Feb 2002. My flares are neither diet or weather-related, tho I was interested to note a comment posted by somebody here, somewhere, about tingling in the fingers before a flare arrives. I do have that and will now see if they are linked for me. At least I'll get some warning. I miss so many every-day things due to this affliction. I can't stand still for more than two minutes, so queueing is a finely-judged activity! I can't decorate any more, do the garden, haven't knelt since 1997, can't walk indoors without a walking stick, can't dance, or ride a bike, or swim - lovely when in the water, sheer hell descends on exiting! Luckily I'm self-employed and my clients are fantastic at understanding last-minute cancellations from me. That is a boon and one for which I am extremely grateful. Having a non-understanding employer must be really tough. Is it wrong to wish arthritis on the 'healthy' world that doubts you?

psyart

Hi - I think you have said just how it is!!!! there is no reasoning to 'arthur' or the flare ups but I'm glad you posted on here cause is rings so true to me!!! I wrote a while ago about depression and I think that the guilt of trying to push ourselves on and then having a flare or reaction to meds then good days when we feel it must be in our minds!! this would turn anyone normal into a mess!!!!!!

again, this forum helps me get things straight in my head, as I find it easier to put feelings into writing than trying to speak!!! also, reading other peoples thoughts makes me realise I am not alone and makes so much sense to me???!!!!!!!!

take care all

Louise xxx

dreamdaisy

Hi, it's me again. Forget feeling guilty. The arthrtitis isn't imagined, it's real, and it messes with you. Forget feeling guilty. It does hurt, it is there, and it ain't going away. Forget feeling guilty. Love the 'good' times when they're there, cope with the rough times when they come. Forget feeling guilty. Don't be afraid to ask for help and always accept it (requested or otherwise) gracefully. Forget feeling guilty. You didn't choose this, and it sucks it chose you but - forget feeling guilty. Feel regret, maybe, feel sad, yes, but don't feel guilty. Guilt is an emotion that applies to deliberate wrongdoing. Guilt results when one conciously does the wrong thing. Forget feeling guilty. OK, rant over! Have a lovely Saturday. For some reason 10am Saturday morning is my favourite time of the week. Just love 10 o'clock! Spent it in bed, with a cuppa, doing my puzzle book and listening to the great Danny Baker on Radio 5. A perfect Saturday morning. Dreamdaisy

mellman01

Hi Louise and dreamdaisy(in bed till 10 ya bum!) your both right but I was born with an oversized guilt/honesty chip I guess, and it really does mess up your head that’s for sure, I would have said I was a fairly tough nut but this really gave me big problems, anyway went in to Wallingford this morning got a chicken and local veg including purple sprouting(sounds of Homer Simpson dribbling!) boy do I love the stuff, so does me mum she’s coming round later for T, oh went into the shed got buzzed by a queen wasp went to workshop and again got buzzed, what is it with bloody wasps I know they do good but I was stung 3 times last year and all I did was go for a dog walk, poor old Ozzy got hit 3 times on 3 different occasions poor old thing.
Mind you have you seen these Asian hornets they say are on their way here, flippin heck their the size of a flippin helicopter with a sting the size of a drink straw!. :shock:

dreamdaisy

Hi melman, who says I got up at 10?! Didn't shift until Fighting Talk had finished, which was ruined by Kris Akabussi. What a show-off. Do I feel guilty about it? NO. I'm flaring quite badly at the moment, and I don't think my Humira worked properly on Tuesday, so that hasn't helped. I need my rest! I used to feel so much guilt, I battled for 9 years with not knowing what was wrong - symptoms began in April 1997, diagnosed October 2006. Guilt is negative, it drains you, but this disease is not my fault, I am not responsible for it or its effects on me. The blame lies with my parents and their crappy genes. They should feel the guilt! Only my mum left now and she gets very upset about it, but what's the point. It is what it is, it isn't what it isn't, I just have to get on with it. It comes and it goes, it's altered my life beyond recognition, I'm still me somewhere in all of this, but I refuse to feel guilty. Enjoy your tea, and I agree about the purple sprouting - lovely raw too, or is that just me? Sprouts are the best raw veg. Dreamdaisy