Things we buy our kids

ninakang

I had a cup of tea with my mum and dad this afternoon (and took my friend and my son to meet them too, she found my dad very amusing - you'll soon see why).

I was talking about how little my parents bought us as kids and how much we buy our and how my parents got round our constant requests for stuff and holidays. They never, ever bought me a Barbie or a Tiny Tears doll (I'm slowly getting over it, but I still bear the emotional scars), and the "holidays" we ever had were one day out a year to someplace like Alton Towers. At the weekend, if we were very lucky, my parents would take us to the local park and we'd be packed a picnic consisting of a litre tub ice cream box crammed with jam sandwiches, cakes, biscuits, a bottle of cordial and a HUGE flask of Indian tea. This we would all carry between us, including the biggest rug we had, in a roll, over dad's shoulder.

The question I have is - were we any less happy? Did we feel like we were missing out? Absolutely not - so why do we buy our kids so much more?

My dad's answer was simple and succinct: "Because there's a lot more crap around now than there was then. You lot were a lot cheaper to raise."

The man has a point! I hate it when my parents are right! In our house, even though we like to think we're careful with money and don't spoil our kids, we have:

- a desktop PC with speakers and webcam
- 3 laptops
- 3 Nintendo DSs with assorted games
- A Nintendo Wii Fit
- A 6 foot trampoline in the garden
- The girls have a bike each
- A stereo in the living room, in the garage and a CD player in the girls' bedrooms
- 3 TVs, a video player, 3 DVD players
- Literally hundreds of films and CDs
- At least one holiday abroad a year (I can explain this - we have a lot of family abroad and so only pay for flights, not accomodation most of the time)

Crazy, isn't it?

Nx

c4thyg

Your Dad is absolutely right. I'm trying very hard to cut back on what my daughter has. She's only 3 so she hasn't even got peer pressure yet. Still though I am amazed at the number of toy boxes we have in the house. About a year ago though I found that most of the stuff in the toy boxes wasn't bought by me and my ex. Most of it is from grandparents! At least my parents keep most of it at their house and the toys get swapped between the houses now and again. My MIL however used to buy a lot of cheap unsuitable rubbish to try and make up for being a useless grandmother. When we moved house before xmas I gave away 3 black bags worth of toys and my daughter hasn't even noticed!! No amount of toys can make up for lack of one to one time.

suncatcher

I think we had less. We had imaginations though. I sat at the table with parent and grand parents. folk had more time to talk. I had more freedom.
Now children have more. seem less greatful. They dont use imaginations half as much as we did. We dont let kids out of our site. They have less freedom. The worlds too busy to talk and get to know people properly. I bet some house do not get time to have a meal all togeather. I think everyone is lesss happy. My hearts sunk now. joanne

suncatcher

Ive took 3 bags of toys to the charity shop.

c4thyg

One thing I am grateful of is that Meg has a fantastic imagination. She is curious with everything around her and asks questions all the time. We do talk a lot and yes it is often sat together at the table either eating or colouring. I do wonder though if this is something that tends to fade with time as she's only 3 at the moment. I'm hoping that we do carry on this way but once she's got friends in school I'm guessing that it'll become more of a challenge.

frogmorton

Hi Nina

You are so right.....

Me an the ole man talk about this on a wekly basis it seems...

Neither of us EVER had a bike form new - my kids must have had about three each over the years....

I think this is the root of the problem...kids have tooo much and they think they are entitled to it too...

makes us parents have to work too hard and too long hours to get it all.....

Coz we work so hard and so much we reward our kids and ourselves with material things and holidays.....

This culture started in the eighties and I think caused the credit crunch - have now - pay later

Love

Toni xx

frogmorton

[ I had more freedom.
Now children have more. seem less greatful. They dont use imaginations half as much as we did. We dont let kids out of our site. They have less freedom. ]

Thing is that statisically there are no more child abductions/murders than evre there were. Just we hear about them and it makes us anxious.

At the mo we are trying to reduce what we spend on our kids....no regular meals out and trips to the pictures etc for a week or so - see if they notice. :shock: Bet they don't but I am!!!

Love

Toni xx

pluggathome

My folks gave me lots as a kid. Lots of time that is and aint that just the best pressie you can have.

A good tickle went a long way in my house, you would be begging for mercy but the minute my dad stopped I'd dive on him for more!!!!

Kids do want too much nowadays. If they wanted less maybe the parents would have to work less and then they would have more time to create memories as oppose to toys that break and are not around in 20years.

Pluggxx

page35

Hi Nina
i still have my Tiny Tears doll and a few Barbies (i had the Barbie pink house too with a lift up the side)
i'll let you borrow them if you like

frogmorton

Oh Page

That is so kind of you.....

I cant help on that one - even my kids got rid of theirs....and Lucy....you wont beleive this....kicked several of her (30 or so) toys out of bed this week

Love

Toni xx

dreamdaisy

It's advertising. Children know the cost of everything but value nothing. One of my pupils had his tenth birthday recently and complained that he only got £150. Both his parents are unemployed, the rest of his splintered and fractured family not very keen on making an effort and me, the mug, am teaching him on a reduced fee. I want him to break this cycle of relying on benefits etc and he has the intellectual ability to do so. Meanwhile, the adverts pour on the syrup of you can have this, you need that, you deserve the other, etc etc. Parenting has never been easy, and there are so many added pressures, but the biggest mistake parents seem to make these days is to regard their children as their friends - they're not, they are not your peers, you are the adult and therefore the responsible one - and parents need to re-discover the word 'no'. We seem to be afraid of refusal, probably because it's a negative thing and we all have to be wonderfully positive all the time. Praise the little darlings when, actually, they haven't done anything to merit it!

One has to learn the pain of failure, the hurt of refusal, the discipline of saving up for something yourself and all the other nasties that constitute human life. I know there are good, caring, instructive and constructive parents out there, so perhaps again, it's the minority giving the majority a bad name. Dreamdaisy.

frogmorton

Hi Dream daisy

I get you.

I think we are fighting against so much if we want to set boudaries these days (everyone else has this can do that etc). It is a very hard time to be a parent....

i find it hard anyway.

Especially those of us from reconstituted familes - sometimes they try to compete with us and it makes it harder They do not share our values.

I hope your lad does get out of the cylce of dependance on benefits - he may do if he is lucky.

Love

Toni xx

frogmorton

Give 'em a hoop and a stick eh Rehab??

Toni x