SORRY

joyful164
joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
edited 30. Apr 2010, 18:08 in Community Chit-chat archive
You may have noticed that I have notbeen around very much just lately, not that I suppose I have been missed. Don't want you all to think I have deserted you all.

Firstly, the fews days previous to last weekend were spent in getting the final paperwork done for our Charity Classic Car Run.
It is the 3rd year and we had a record 150 cars take place. We think we have raised £800 at least, which will be split between the two Air Ambulance that operate in the several counties incl Northamptonshire.
It that was not enough, had phone call from OH's cousins to say they wanted to stay 2nights and not just tonight they had first asked for. They are over from Cyprus for a couple of weeks to see relatives :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Then on Sat we are off for OH's cousin's 80th.
To my mind she, (being the wife of OH's cousin) is a very selfish, uncaring person. She thinks I should be waiting on her hand and foot. She ignores the fact that I may be exhausted after our busy weekend.
I am feeling pretty exhausted and also bruised and needing to rest after my chiropractor session on Monday.
OH has suggested they re-arrange part of their itinerary for today and go and visit somewhere else today so that they will be out all day and I shall got to bed for the day. I need it.

Sorry for going on, but I am fuming about it all. Does anyone else have relatives that just dump themselves on them?????
Am I being selfish myself???

Pleasewill you come and kidnap mes please. I need rescuing. And I cannot get on with my painting which I need to get ready because I am too tired to concentrate.

Help
Joy

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Joyful164. Firstly, congrats on your money raising event. What a worthwhile cause and it sounds fun!

    Secondly, she's only the wife of OH cousin. Nothing to do with you. Don't wait on her, pleasantly explain that you have a number of health issues, which unfortunatley mean that you cannot treat her like the Queen which, of course, you find very upsetting, but there it is. Try not to let a sarcastic tone creep into your voice! Swoon, and take to your bed like a Victorian lady. You need your rest - you get it.

    (I probably haven't helped. Sorry. My guests know they have to shift for themselves - I tell them quite bluntly!) Dreamdaisy.
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Joy

    Well done for your fundraising efforts, and sorry to hear you are feeling exhausted. Your relatives are being very thoughtless in treating you like a good hotel, so I would definitely try to put yourself first. I hope they go out for the day so that you can rest, and maybe they could have a meal out too. I hope you can get some relaxation, and manage to do some painting as well.

    Joan
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Joyful,
    You sound very stressed and that cant help you at all. I did find when my daughters visited I ended up clearing up after them at times and having to cook for them. It isnt very nice is it ?One day I walked in and pulled the laptop plug out of the wall moaning about all the cups everywhere. Unfortunately I nearly lost some university course work, there was a mad flurry to retrieve it!!!But they make sure they they clear up now.
    However I doubt your relative is going to change and can only hope your pre-primed OH does as much as possible to relieve you of all the hassle and extra duties and while he does so perhaps he can make a point of saying in a loud voice, Poor Joy shouldnt need to do that and lets help Joy with the washing up because standing/hands/ heavy objects cause her pain. Am I being too hopeful ?

    BEst wishes
    Elizabeth
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Joy,

    Oh visitors that think the world revolves around them with no regard to how you are and even less understanding of how unwell it makes you feel....... got one at the moment..... not good is it? Hang in there cus well sadly somethings you just have to have land on you (I probably should have put some people, especially family) It will soon be time they went Joy... I kinda count down the hours :wink:

    A (((( )))) and a hope you do get some time and they go out for the day...... I think its unfortunate that its all landed at the same time.

    Hey I hoe you enjoy the run :D They have a huge 3 day rally just down the road, vintage cars and steam as well..... Its quite funny to see the cars n the A30 though i think my car likes it as they are about the only thing it can over take now :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Hang in there Joy not long to go. Luv and a ((( ))) Cris xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oscar Wilde: Guests are like fish, both go off after three days. Dreamdaisy
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi there and thanks for your support in the way I feel. :):)
    I use to be able to do all this and I went to work full time when they came to stay and they still wanted waiting on hand and foot.
    I use to find ways of making sure we were too busy to have them, but they have seen though all that and now just ring ad hoc and they are here, whether we like it or not. :shock:
    It's different if they are prepared to help, but OH cousins just sits and expects to be waited on, does nothing to help and she, well, she talks and talks and talks. My head is spinning :x :x
    Then, when she is here, she is on our phone or computer trying to catch everyone else in the country to go and stay somewhere else.
    She saw my cushtie cushions and said, "I have been trying to get some of those". I should have said that they were a present, but no without thinking quickly I said that I got them on Amazon, so I have ended up ordering some, she saying she would give me a cheque, which i haven't seen yet :roll:
    Gosh, you must think me an ungrateful so and so but there are some people who I just love coming to stay, I can have a reasonable conversation with and the time goes by happily.
    Nothing is too much trouble sort of thing.
    Anyway, I am going to go and climb under my duvit. Waste of a lovely day, I could have been painting and yes, I had to miss my art class which I love.
    see you all later

    Joy
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Joy a ((((( ))))) and it will soon be time for them to leave... mine goes thursday :D:D:D:D xx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joyful164 wrote:
    You may have noticed that I have notbeen around very much just lately, not that I suppose I have been missed. Don't want you all to think I have deserted you all.

    Firstly, the fews days previous to last weekend were spent in getting the final paperwork done for our Charity Classic Car Run.
    It is the 3rd year and we had a record 150 cars take place. We think we have raised £800 at least, which will be split between the two Air Ambulance that operate in the several counties incl Northamptonshire.
    It that was not enough, had phone call from OH's cousins to say they wanted to stay 2nights and not just tonight they had first asked for. They are over from Cyprus for a couple of weeks to see relatives :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
    Then on Sat we are off for OH's cousin's 80th.
    To my mind she, (being the wife of OH's cousin) is a very selfish, uncaring person. She thinks I should be waiting on her hand and foot. She ignores the fact that I may be exhausted after our busy weekend.
    I am feeling pretty exhausted and also bruised and needing to rest after my chiropractor session on Monday.
    OH has suggested they re-arrange part of their itinerary for today and go and visit somewhere else today so that they will be out all day and I shall got to bed for the day. I need it.

    Sorry for going on, but I am fuming about it all. Does anyone else have relatives that just dump themselves on them?????
    Am I being selfish myself???

    Pleasewill you come and kidnap mes please. I need rescuing. And I cannot get on with my painting which I need to get ready because I am too tired to concentrate.

    Help
    Joy

    no our house to small and not tidy enough for people to do extended visits it hard glad they have gone out for the day i would never let some one else wait on me hand and foot some people are selfish
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,390
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Joy

    Oh dear poor old you :(

    Me and my hubby will have to come to one of your classic car dos in the future - when he gets a hard top for his midget :D

    I am sorry that you have such annoying visitors. Mind you there are times when any visitors woudl be unwelcome eh?? :wink:

    They will soon be gone, but if you do need rescuing - let off a distress flare and Daisy and All crid' lodgers and I bet Littleges will all come and kidnap you :D

    Love

    Toni xx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Joy,
    Dont feel guilty. Just hope you have a plan if she says she would like to stay a bit longer.......it could happen.
    Dont make her stay too comfortable.
    Best wishes
    Elizabeth
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's tough, I know. These two sound like a right pair of liggers. Can't you invite yourself to them to get your own back?! Only joking.

    The next time they ring to visit tell them no. Or get the OH to tell them no. They're his relations after all. He must see the effect they have. I am so sorry. Family matters are always tricky, aren't they? I have to tell my mum and mum-in-law that I'm not doing Christmas this year. They will just have to lump it. I don't have the stamina, and I get tired of hearing that Christmas isn't like it used to be. My life isn't like it used to be, never mind Christmas! Dreamdaisy
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,727
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Tell the the bed broke and you have to get a new one and the delivery is 8 weeks :D

    They are welcome to the floor. :shock:

    Trish xxxxx
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Trisher

    That's a good idea :!: I'll remember that one next time I have any uninvited guests :?: :D
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    trisher wrote:
    Tell the the bed broke and you have to get a new one and the delivery is 8 weeks :D

    They are welcome to the floor. :shock:

    Trish xxxxx

    Brillian Trisher, you hit the nail on the head every time. bless you.
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi all,

    I am breathing again, just. Our visitors D & B have gone.
    Had a very nasty turn last night though and 'D' was sitting by the side of me talking and talking and talking and I had this explosive feeling in my head. ( As you know I have had pains in my head but the CT Scan hasn't picked anything up.)
    I frightened 'D' and she thought I was going to pass out. (Can't see dr until the 12th May, so I have said to my OH, that if it happens again, he is to take me straight up to outpatients). Get round it that way.

    I know they are family though, but his side and they do things so differently. He says that is how is family have always done things. They are Cockneys and that is the way the families do things,
    So I shall have to give in gracefully.
    As to going to stay with them for awhile, it would be to Cyprus and we have already stayed with them some years back. They have a very small place (I would have it as a holiday home for occasional use) Not live in it 24/7, and the stairs, well, the last time I stayed there I had to come back down them backwards they are so steep and I put my back out which made it very uncomfortable on the plane. If and it is a very big if, I should go to Cyprus again, it would be on a package holiday. That way, we would be at least 100 miles away and they can come and see us then. maybe. Perhaps to ring them on the day we are due to fly home otherwise they may come and stay with us in our villa or something. Believe it or not, I like it when there is just me and my OH. I put it down to not feeling too good at the moment I think.

    At breakfast this morning, not once did she get up to do anything. Told me what pillow they had used and what sheet. Couldn't use the duvet because it was to hot. So I needn't wash the cover. Problem is, the cover was all screwed up, so I need to wash and iron it so it looks nice and smooth again.
    Right, now have to go up to hospital and get blood test done. Wonder what colour it will be by the time I get up there. Then getting my hair done

    And on Saturday, we shall see them again because it is 'B's 80th birthday party.

    Joy
  • theresa4
    theresa4 Member Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI joyful
    I know just how you feel although my OH family are my problem, they dont understand how tired I feel and still dump their kids on me, they are badly behaved kids who are spoilt and undisciplined. Then Im snappy with the kids when really I should tell my hubbys brother and wife :!: :x
    They live next door so all good fun we have taken to locking the door.

    The rest of the family are funny with me when I say sorry I cant do that or go there I dont feel up to it. I get the dirty looks and the comments well you managed to go out the other day.... I even sent them all the Spoons theory to help them understand my condition but they told me they couldnt be bothered reading it cos its too long.

    I fully appreciate how you feel but do what I do now if I need to go to bed regardless of who is around I just do. The people I care about understand why and those who dont understand I dont really care!! :P :P :P

    Love Theresa x :)
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    theresa4 wrote:
    HI joyful
    I know just how you feel although my OH family are my problem, they dont understand how tired I feel and still dump their kids on me, they are badly behaved kids who are spoilt and undisciplined. Then Im snappy with the kids when really I should tell my hubbys brother and wife :!: :x
    They live next door so all good fun we have taken to locking the door.

    The rest of the family are funny with me when I say sorry I cant do that or go there I dont feel up to it. I get the dirty looks and the comments well you managed to go out the other day.... I even sent them all the Spoons theory to help them understand my condition but they told me they couldnt be bothered reading it cos its too long.

    I fully appreciate how you feel but do what I do now if I need to go to bed regardless of who is around I just do. The people I care about understand why and those who dont understand I dont really care!! :P :P :P

    Love Theresa x :)

    Thanks Theresa.
    It has taken me all day recovering from the extra work, the we have to travel down to Dunstable for cousin's 80th.
    I have just got up after sleeping 5 hours would you believe. I was taken poorly in Tescos of all places. came over feeling very sick and my head was throbbing. OH knows that I am not normally this bad.
    What happens if I am taken ill tomorrow? Will they think I am making it up?

    Joy
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello everyone
    thanks everyone for your support, again.

    We are having one terrible storm over here at the moment, and think that this has gone some way towards making me feel ill.
    Don't know if anyone else suffers when a storm is due. feeling sick, dizzy, headachy and joints really hurting.
    I was afraid I was going to have another flare up.

    Would be interested if anyone else is affected like me

    joy
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,552
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Firstly, a range of moulds are released into the air before a storm arrives. These can cause headaches, a general feeling of tension and unease, some react by experiencing something similar to hayfever, so why wouldn't joints react? It's all related to auto-immune problems.

    Secondly, if the cover wasn't used, just iron it. No need to wash it.

    Thirdly, they're in their eighties. Now I understand.

    Dreamdaisy

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