I need some ideas......

skezier

Hi helpline folk,

Here's one you can't really help with but I am getting so down at how useless i have become....... My way of life is me..... I am this life, without it I am nothing.....

I am having huge problems shearing the sheep.... Any ideas you have please....... I have broken the electric shears (they ain't that good anyway but that's another rant......) So its a hand shear job and they need a partial shear cus hey are old (all 10 now) and vulnerable to pneumonia if the sweat...... I have to bend and y lumber don't lie it at all..... Please have you any ideas cus I can't let them down... r lose them.....

Sorry emotional idiot here and falling apart so badly cus well the pa is eating my arms and shoulder s and probably my neck and the oa has eaten my back.....The crohn's is eating my digestive track.... mtx will help once we get the right dose......

Humour failure eh? bad thing for me...... Still least the foal is ok

I shall go away now cus I know you can't help.

You all take care and Val more choc for you but you have to share it! Cris who is really struggling just now....... hide it so well eh?!

helpline_team

Hi Cris

I know how much you love your way of life and that it is your life but it is not all of YOU. Never say that you are nothing or useless, you are the same strong, lovely person even if you can't do the things you want to. Being emotional is part of you too & its fine to let emotions out when you're feeling down like this.

I wish I could suggest something useful about shearing sheep but I'm a city girl & know nothing about sheep! All I can say is take it easy, do a bit at a time then rest and is there anyone who can help you out, friend, neighbour?

Hang on in there Cris, you have friends here who are thinking of you & wishing you well.

Take care

Val

skezier

Hi City Girl,

Oh Val is that horrible fear that has stalked me for over 10 years now.....It never goes away and I am so entrenched in this lifestyle.......I think the shearing also brought home to me my girl isn't here any more so maybe that's in the driving seat?

The bones are bad just now so the crohn's and that doesn't help ... i missed a pain clinic appointment today cus the crohn's is kicking.

Do you think a padded bit of wood tied between the introcostrails and the leg muscles would help or do damage..... My leg muscles are reasonably strong and it would ( in theory) give a bit of support to the stupid lumber? Hell talk about desperation.... and do they care, no nor should they

Sorry Val I have image problems but thank you for saying that. Do you believe that's me? I never have managed to think I am something other than what i hide behind.....:shock: mind that's the first time i have truly acknowledged that I kinda sure if the crohn's wasn't kicking me half the night and early morning I wouldn't be falling apart so much. I got to just get hold of that fear and stick it back in a hamster ball.........

Hey i am sorry to be o emotional. Its the animals I worry for and well there has to be a way round it and yep Lady Wishtirai is looking very odd... but I will get there ... somehow....

Friends well they wont shear. Its very hard work and the shears are very sharp and well they are worried they will cut them cus they have an over protective 'mummy' :roll: I tried to get a professional to do them but cus there are so few (3 now) they can't do them till august and they cant wait til then..... Why can't they just have zips?! You know I never saw this problem coming when I got them! Silly eh?

Right I shall go look for my sense of humor and well am sorry it all came pouring out there eh?

Do you think the wood thing would help or just hurt? Take care Cris leaving a cream egg and some clotted cream with some hevva x

helpline_team

Hi Cris

Sorry you are feeling so bad. Also being a city girl I am a bit clueless about farming, but like you, I likes a challenge ). so I put my thinking cap on and if you have the energy I wonder if it is worth calling you local young farmers association or agricultural colleges in case they have volunteers who may be willing to help on a regular basis either as a volunteer or as part of their course on an ongoing basis. It would certainly help to get a few chores done around the place I reckon. I'm not sure exactly where you are but i googled agricultural colleges in your part of the country and it may be worth a try. There are always students who may need extra credits or something to make their marks etc.

Regarding the piece of wood - no idea if it would work and only you can tell if it will hurt or not.

Thanks for all the CDM and here is one back atchya for some energy and pain killing chemicals!

warm wishes

simona

skezier

Hi Simona,

Ah that's a good idea...... thank you! I trained on live animals and was farmed out all oer the place so they must have some that need to learn to shear....... The Dutchy had a college in Truro (that's not far from the sheep) but I think they moved it all to Plymouth but i will rind them tomorrow cus today I ain't truly my self...... Ell I would willing go pick them up

Hey chemicals please, but CDM much appreciated and the best......

Sorry I kinda lost it there and you know what its always the sheep that make me realise just how useless I am getting.... but... tis only pain and be honest I kinda surprised it hit in emotionally so much today...... It honestly does stem from the realisation I have lost the old lady I think. Silly eh?

Right you all take care and thank you again. You know what you people are so good at...... You give hope (hey one of the sheeps is called that ) and a light to shine through the gloom that is long term conditions and ell i hope you all find the same help that you give to us.

thanks Simona your a star and sending you city folk a whole heap of countryside and anmials... but only on loan, cus they won't be too sure about London Take care Cris who is starting to lasso the fear even is she ain't got it in the ball yet x

barbara12

Hi Cris... just seen this...I really hope you get the help you need, you deserve it , what I would give if we could all come and help for real.
But you know we are here when you want to talk rant scream whatever.
It is frustrating when you cant do the things you used to, but what a brilliant idea of the helpline team , maybe it will lead to more help from the farming collages, sure they would appreciate hands on.
Let us know how it goes
Love and hugs ((((((((())))))
Barbara x

wibberley

Hiya Cris, am sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. So annoying that we are so far away from you - my daughter would be round in a heartbeat to help with shearing!

Great idea from the helpline team tho' - I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you can find someone to help you out.

Lois x

skezier

Hi Barbara and Lois,

Its a brilliant idea isn't it? I will give them a ring and see. It got me thinking ..... I wonder if a training vet would need foaling practice......Mind they are not due till end of May beginning of June..... Might see cus 2 really could foal the same week and that is a lot of sitting up (something else I am finding hard, but that could be age :roll: )

Oh Lois she would be welcome s well bless her

You know this hit me last night... I was trying to off the shoulder number the sheep so the heat can get out and it really hit me my old sheep isn't there now....... That's almost certainly why I have gone down a 'bit'..... I lost her in October so its still a raw wound. hey she was such a noble creature, kind and honest and well I always started with her when doing anything to them.... I leave Stampy feet till last cus she tends to fight back and finish me off

I am sorry I am a bit off today, I will be ok if the crohn's would just let me have a few hours sleep....... Hey maybe the increased dose of mtx will get it...... Well I can still hope A ((( ))) to you both and I shall be ok cus well now I have a plan Love Cris xxx

Wonkylegs

Cris - do make that phone call .... and if they can't help then ask them if they could think of anyone else you could try.

there is an agricultural college round here and I know they are always looking for places for students .... so I really really hope you can find someone to help out. good for them and good for you too

in the meantime sending loads of wonky hugs in the hope they might help.

oh & I might just manage an email to you with a piccy of littlelegs to give you a giggle.

hugs
WOnky xxxx

trisher

Hi Cris

Sorry I'm butting in. Cris, where would all your employers be without you eh? How many animals you have helped in your life Cris, they possibly would have been put down.
They would never have had a life like they have without you there to look after them. Nearly all your life has be dedicated to all of them.

You gave them life Cris, please don't say your worthless.

I tell you what you are Skeizer is our friend, we know what a gentle nature she is. when you are going through having the drip, there are pages and pages of good wishes for you. How is that worthless?

Is there any way you can get someone to shear them for you?

You are having a long bad patch, anyone of us would be feeling ill and stay in bed, not you, you get up 5 in the morning to earn money to feed your employers.

I hope you can find some help Cris.
Love Trish xxxxxxx

skezier

Hi Wonky,

The hugs do help and to be visible even though I am retelling my cage and blundering about in blind panic is so reassuring, so thank you and sending ((( )))'s back and a huge thank you cus she is lovely Nice to meet you both and I will send the foal tomorrow cus I feel drained out just now I am afraid but she is lovely and very fine still...... side glance at her sister who is a mini shire Slurps and xx Cris

Hi Lynn,

Its been a bad day that's all. I will be better tomorrow bit did indeed lose control of all the fears and panic isn't good eh?! You take car and I shall blast my brain with a bit of Deadmau5 ((( ))) xx

Oh Trish that moved me.... now I do know a rough tally actually..... over 500 cats (all feral so very difficult either neutered and returned or taken in and they became employers ), 3 horses, 15 dogs and 9 sheep and my old Skezier the cow had a life cus I stepped in but well now a days its one or two cus I don't have either the strength or money to do what I did do.

I honestly think the Lodgers would have been in trouble if I hadn't said yes and I am sure Owns foal last year would have died had i not been there...... so yep its a lot but in return for what ever i gave them they gave me a purpose and a drive as well as a degree of unconditional love, though the ferals sometimes only made it to tolerance Trish I understand animals for what ever reason and well I worry so much about the sheep cus they are big (oh just remembered a load of ex battery hens and a few ducks and a couple of cockerels, 18 turkeys who all saw 5 or more Christmas's though never a partridge ) and take more work of the heavy kind.... they also are my pride and joys and well i don't know what I would be without them or the fields and space I am so lucky to have.....

Flower I have never helped anyone here more than you lot have helped me and well I a bit better tonight and will be ok again soon..... Trish you know sometimes the inner strength breaks for a bit and mine is now glued back up and will bond soon..... They all send meows (I hasten to add I have never had 500 cats in one go :shock: I started when I got the conscience after they operated on my back, so its years worth!) woofs, slurps, cluck, quacks and baaaaaaaaaaa's with an obligatory pocket riffle. (((( )))) and hope your feeling better? Cris xxx

dorcas

Hi Cris,

I have no clever words that would change what you are going through just now...but feel you pain, distress and frustration. I wanted to send you some of those healing, supporting ((((((HUGS)))))) that you send out to each of us with love and compassion every time we need them.
You are one special person. x

There are times when this bl**dy disease overwhelms and the things we do become or seemingly become impossible to manage and that's when we need our friends on the forum and our great helpline peeps most..... and they never fail us. x

I know you are ' gluing' yourself together again and if only I had a magic wand you would be first on my list to share it with...... and after banning arther & crohn's forever, what fun we could have using it.

Hope you do get help for your 'girls'......and that your meds pick up their effectiveness and can beat arther and the crohn's into submission.

Lots of love and strength heading your way..xxxxx

Iris x

annie_mial

Cris, Iris - this thread has been a lifeline to me too. I have been in grave danger of losing it totally this week but I feel I have now been glued together and stood upright. Thank you Iris.

Cris, as far as the shearing goes, if the Ag College suggestion doesn't work out, contact your local Trading Standards and ask for the Animal Health section. They've usually got a good knowledge of local farmers and might well know someone who can help out.

I so hope you feel better over the weekend, Cris - you have far more to contend with than I and for a better purpose. As for you being worthless - that is the last thing you are!

Love
Annie

skezier

Hi Iris,

Oh what fun we could have with the magic wand........ could I use it on my ex please... a nice big pair of ears.... buck teeth......mind a set of horns, cloven hooves and a very nice forked tail would be more apt Kinda wasn't amicable does it show

I worry about the girls so much. I phoned the College this morning they said I sadly don't have enough numbers to have a student but they will put a card up on the bored and you never know. Will drop into the young farmers club as well.

Oh Iris the mtx was starting to work but then my bones and the crohn's dummy spat and now its not. The upped dose might eh? I see the rumo in May and he said he will up it again as like as not but it does seem to be the right dug just need to get the dose right. Be honest the bones are nothing to the crohn's cus that is really getting me down though I have lost a good stone and needed to but its hell of a way to diet

A (((( )))) and thank you for you support its just not a good week for me eh? xxx

Hi Annie,

As well as the Y F club I was talking to one of my neighbors, she is a sheep farmer and gave me the umber of her shearer who is a woman and very kind to the sheep. She reacons as long as I make a hole to let the heat out they could wait till they can be done.......... Her eldest sheep is 7 so she does have a bit of knowledge of old sheep. I know Lady W has a snot nose now so will phone and plead for now.

I am sorry your having a bad time as well, not funny is it? Its the too many condition thing isn't it? one at a time isn't so bad but when they all dummy spit together you just get swamped. Its raining today so the fact the crohn's would have stopped me going to the market doesn't matter cus its not on so no ones moaned at me today yet My visitor with no understanding of others let alone conditions left at 6 as well so a much better day ...... I hope yours is. A (((( )))) and a hope it all gets better for you Annie. xx

dorcas

Hiya Cris

Forgive me for losing track of the meds you're on...but are you on anti tnfs? they treat crohn's with that too so might be very effective bashing both the arther & crohn's. especially if anti tnf is taken together with the Mtx as they work in harmony together...? I ain't no doc and not giving out medical advice ..it's just what I know from my/ others experience.

When in May are you seeing the rheummy? with all that's going on with the crohn's and arther and losing weight could you ask for the appointment to be brought forward ? that doesn't seem unreasonable :roll:

could that lovely lady shearer not come over and trim/ shear your gals for you?....that would be such a weight off your mind wouldn't it..
i really hope you get some response from your card and the idea about vet students attending the foals sounds like a possibility?

I am worried about you. :roll: :?

I've tried waving my magic wand but it just fizzed and popped and there was a burning smell.....must have been on overdrive dealing with your spells for that ex of yours..

lots of love and (((hugs)))

Iris x

dorcas

annie_mial wrote:

this thread has been a lifeline to me too. I have been in grave danger of losing it totally this week but I feel I have now been glued together and stood upright.
Love
Annie

Annie....I do hope you are really OK? sorry your week has been rough on you too. :roll:

Sending you a bucket (borrowed from Cris) full of ((((HUGS)))) and lots of positive thoughts.

Iris xxx

skezier

Oh Iris sorry for breaking your wand.... maybe we can recharge it Hey the idea that he doesn't look the same as yesterday has cheered me up no end I know its a bit nasty but some of it deserved the rest just hurt

They use the sulfa and mtx for moderate to severe crohn's as well as the anti tnfs, they use something else as well I think its rim what ever its called that's done as an infusion.

I gt a reaction to the sulfa and as soon as I came off it the crohn's went to hyper drive. The sulfa was holding it in line...... Now its been 3 months of it I think I might have to see a gastro and that's another reason I am down. The uslesses refused me a referral as they knew (only from me) the rumo would be putting me on mtx and it did go after the crohn's and had hold f it but then it couldn't hold it. It went after the wrists a bit, they were slightly less swollen and hurt more again now they are huge again, but hurt less.....

I phoned to see if I could up it and its now only 12.5 but you never know Iris that might be enough? I see him May 19th (Drip week so will be dragging a drip stand with and hoping the anti emetic has actually worked ) He said he might raise it again to 20 then cus its shown a spark of getting it so we just need to find the right dose.

Hey don't you go worrying bout me cus I am a survivor.... just have fears now and then that clobber me about a bit. ((( ))) Cris who is off to see if the ex really does reflect who he is xx

ironic

Hi Cris, boy are you having a bad time of it. Sometimes it's good to blow off steam. Like most of us I Howl at the moon every now and then, releases the pressure valve. Seriously flower I really hope the new Dr can help you. Hope the girls are cooler today and if that lady can sort things for you sooner rather than latter things might improve for you? Good luck for your appt in May. Sending lots of Hugs. We are all rooting for you. Lv, Ix

speedalong

Hi Chris,

have you found someone to shear your sheep yet? Do you live in an area where others keep sheep ... you said you would drive to collect a student to shear them .. could you not take the sheep to somewhere who has a student/professional shearer doing their flock ... and then they could be done at the same time?

I can sympathise with what you are saying about the sheep make you realise what you can't do ...S makes me realise that - I can meet his material needs - but his exercise and fun loving needs are harder to meet at the moment - and it p****s me off too.

The fact that you are feeling so poorly with the arther and the Crohns will be making everything feel more desperate than it would feel if you were feeling well.

I do hope you find a chink in the clouds soon.

Take care and keep posting.

Speedalong

skezier

Hi I,

Its gone cooler so that's helped me to feel a bit less what ever the word is...... I think I got it worked out for June if I can't do them earlier.

I am going to have to see the new docs I guess? The crohn's is kicking around more than ever now bu the upped mtx might get it soon eh?

Hope your ok and well I have taken it a bit easy for the last 2 days and then might try again..... ((( ))) xx

Hi Speedalong,

Thanks for giving some thought for me and them. Its not that easy since the 2001 fmd thing cus of movement controls and quarantines but I do think I have got someone who will do them in June if I haven't doe them by then and I might, I just need one good day.

Oh flower its hard with animals but you have S and that's got to be so much much harder so a ((())) and hopefully he runs about while you just sit and watch him? You take care Cris x

dorcas

skezier wrote:

I am going to have to see the new docs I guess? The crohn's is kicking around more than ever now bu the upped mtx might get it soon eh?

Hope your ok and well I have taken it a bit easy for the last 2 days and then might try again..... ((( ))) xx
Cris x

Hi Cris...
please do go see your new docs to let them know how bad the crohn's is, the loss of weight and also to tell him about the 'black outs' :roll:

I know you think it's to do with pain and the arther in your neck but you still need to tell the doc and get it checked out? :roll:

Your 'uslessnesses' have lot to answer for not referring you when they should have...it's neglect pure and simple! :x

hope it stays cool for the 'girls'...but don't try again too quickly eh?

Iris x

speedalong

Hi Cris,

Thanks for giving some thought for me and them. Its not that easy since the 2001 fmd thing cus of movement controls and quarantines but I do think I have got someone who will do them in June if I haven't doe them by then and I might, I just need one good day.

Sorry not very up on countryside regs. I hate it when I can't see a way round things, it's easier to cope with life's challenges if you feel you are tackling it head on. At least you have a plan B - even if it is one month away.

Oh flower its hard with animals but you have S and that's got to be so much much harder so a ((())) and hopefully he runs about while you just sit and watch him?

Neither is harder or easier - just different. S remembers me energetic and active ... and wants interactive play - that is what is frustrating. The trampoline is a good way to wear him out a bit - I stand and encourage and devise routines for him to try. Really miss long walks in the park/woods etc

Hope you start to feel better soon. Let's hope docs come up with some help.

Speedalong

minky67

Hi cris, Sorry i didnt see this thread.
I didnt realise you were so down either.
Loads of (((((hugs))))) coming your way.
If you havent managed to do them when we come down im sure we can hold them down & if your hands can cope with shearing,would that help you. :?: :!:
Ive had a go years back at a sheep but only a little tiny bit of shearing as i was scared of cutting it.
I hope you find some help before then but if not its a back up plan for you.

Dont think that your useless either cause your not,you do more than i can & it puts me to shame.
we all get down & think that way,i know i do & have been recently.But i know im needed & have to carry on the best way i can. Manage is a word i use alot when i really am struggling & i dont tell anyone.I hide it well like you but when it comes out im in pieces over these horrible conditions i have & the way my life has changed.
Take care & i hope things start to get better for you.
luv n hugs debs

skezier

Hi Iris,

Flower i need to lose eight, I really need to..... For that the crohn's can be an asset......

Hey mtx upped the crohn's isn't raging........Lurking but not raging...... The bones are no different but they will take longer wont they?

I get down Iris sometimes, I know we all do and I am sorry sometimes it shows....... :oops: With the crohn's quieter its all easier..... IBD has one huge problematical symptom and after 3 months its got me down but the mtx will work! Hopefully for the bones and eyes as well

You take care and well more apple, carrots and dandelions ((((( ))))) xx

Hi Speedalong,

hey once you have had your op you will be amazed at how much more you will be able to do. I know one thing S will love you come what may. ((( ))) and a hope for a return to walks and parks xx

Hi Debs,

Oh flower conditions are horrible things and sadly when you get past a certain number you don't seem to get a lot of help....... A (((((((( )))))))) and a wave of iris's wand and hopefully you will feel so much better tomorrow.

Me well long ago, its 23 years, a ortho did me a huge favour and gave me back my legs. It wasn't an easy op and he was disappointed as he said it was only 60% successful......... I got infected, temp hit 106 and through a delirious injection and very high fever induced haze (probably brought about by being thrown, well not exactly thrown in a bath full f ice :shock: ) I remember thinking THATS IT! I went on to prove them wrong in their prognosis but the prognosis has aways lurked in the background........ Its often triggered by finding I am useless...... I was back then for quite some time.

Inner strength is so important. Oh when your down can we get the strimmer running please...... oh please.... :roll: Its more evil now than ever I have that strength in here still just its held together with glue and sylidge tape and I need to concrete it back in My life is complicated but it is me in a sense and I can't let it go ever........ Tis my drive and my salvation in a way........ hell I sound like preacher girl! :oops:

Debs you hang in there and well tomorrow may be better for you anther ((((( ))))) xx

Hi helpline folk,

Just leaving more choc and short breads......... as well as a bucket full of thanks

speedalong

Hi Cris,

even when you are down, you manage to say the nicest things.

I have been battling with the house whilst Surj was at school - I feel pretty useless at this and my house is like a really old and infirm person's (cluttered and needs a real spring clean) because I currently find the tasks very difficult physically - especially after an exhausting day at school. Nothing compared to farm work though!!! However my body was obliging today .... so made the most of it. Also nothing like a deadline (op - 12th May!) to get things done!!!

I hope the crohns settles down and starts to behave again soon. It sounds like you are pretty amazing to do what you do with those bones of yours. :!:

Hang in there.

Speedalong

skezier

Hi Speedalong,

We had a post over on the LW forum a while back. I think it was Legs who said look at what you can do not what you can't do. She worded it better but it was good advice, very good advice. It doesn't matter about clutter, it doesn't matter about the house your doing brilliantly!

Its gets hard but I so hope you have so much benefit after the op.

I promise you a kid needs care and unconditional love, everything else is a bonus and well your doing that for him, Surj will love you come what may.

Good idea to send him to school though but remember its better to be rested before an anesthetic. I don't do so well on them and the anesthetist told me that.

A ((((( ))))) and thank you. Cris xx Hey going to have a bit more off the sheep today, so what if they look as if they had a run in with a swarm of moths!