78 Genes

joanlawson

Scientists decoding the human genome have discovered that just 78 genes separate men from women. But what are they?

Here are some ideas:

1. Women understand colour. They seem to know what to wear all the time. Men just think red is nice, pink is nice, so why not have them together?

2. Women have the Oh dear, the toilet paper is on its last sheet; must replace it immediately gene. This is entirely absent in men who have the Oh s..t! Can you pass me a toilet roll, love? gene!

3. On being told that someone has bought a new car women usually ask what colour it is - men ask what sort is it.

4. Men like to have all their stuff (DVDs, CDs, etc) on show to impress their mates. Women like to hide things in cupboards.

5. Women have a built in calendar gene - we remember birthdays, anniversaries and appointments effortlessly.

6. Women put things on the bottom stair to take up next time she has to go upstairs. Men just step over them until told to pick them up.

7. Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs.

8. At weddings, women cry then get drunk. Men get drunk, then cry.

9. For men, 2am is time for sleep. For women, 2am is time for a discussion about where our relationship is going.

10. Men can store useless information. Like the top speed of a car they are never going to drive, let alone own.

11. If you told a woman that you had just returned from a trip to the surface of the Moon, she would show her interest by asking who you had gone with.

12 .Men do not even bother to look for something, then ask where it is and hope that it was the woman who put it away

13. Men need a round of applause for emptying the dishwasher.

14. Men use I or me when they should use we or us. Women use we or us when they should use I or me.

15. Men have a gene which makes them blissfully unaware of impending emotional outbursts, but which sometimes backfires resulting in the registering of physical pain.

16. Men have the capacity to sleep through most sounds, whether it is a baby crying, dog barking, or doorbell ringing.

17. Women eat curry if they like it. Men eat curry to prove they can.

18. Men manage to sit in public places with their legs wide open without noticing how startlingly unattractive it is and how they get in the way.

19. Women could never invent weapons that kill, only ones that make you feel really bad and guilty until you surrender

20. Women are the only ones with the noticing gene - we notice when something is dirty/nearly empty/out of place and then we bring into play the doing something about it now gene.

Joan

frogmorton

Good list Joan

Did you think of them all yourself???

I like the loo roll gene.

I have three girls and I think that gene must only be activated when you leave home

Love

Toni xx

tkachev

The story of my life Joan

Didnt see the men go out for the day/evening and expect you to carry on as normal, women want to go out but need to organise the military rations, long lists of to dos and donts and do all the housework before they go.

Elizabeth

joanlawson

I've just discovered two more genes:

Men have the shed gene, where being locked up in a small wooden structure in quiet contemplation with a collection of garden equipment counts as stimulating entertainment.

Men have a gene which enables them to answer any question, no matter how complex or important, with Mmm.