Do I know you?

zechariah
zechariah Member Posts: 222
edited 11. May 2010, 11:43 in Living with Arthritis archive
When I am out and about in my wheelchair people come and talk to me and I don't even know them!

Just because I am in a wheelchair I think they can strike up a conversation, I am not being mean but why?

I even had a woman just walk up and say "can you walk", "on crutches at home a bit" I said, then she went on to tell me how it is no use just sitting there you have to be determined and make an effort!

how she didn't get chewed to bits I dont know, maybe I was feeling mellow that day.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Comments

  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, now that reminds me of years ago I used to look after a gorgeous little boy with CP, he too was in a wheelchair ... people's responses were varied - some would give him money (or me money to buy him treats,) one woman told me I was doing him no favours pushing him around as he would never learn to walk ... and some would talk right over his head!!

    Similiarly, S talks with an electronic communication aid and sometimes when we are out people talk to me - even though he is the one communicating with them! I had a girl with an aid the same in my class once and I was dying to borrow her aid so the next time someone said to me, "What did he say?" I could whip and identical talking aid and reply in a female voice, "he said ...."

    These people are certainly trying aren't they!! :roll:

    Can't see you letting them get away with it though - Zec?! :?:

    Speedalong

    PS the ones that really annoy me personally are the ones that expect me (on crutches) to walk around/dodge them!!
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The reactions of the healthy never cease to amaze me. One day they'll find out. When I have my revolution, in addition to those who will be up against a wall to be shot, I shall arrange for an aerial drop of highly infectious arthritis spores. That'll learn them!

    Don't be afraid to respond with something equally insulting to them. If told you should make more effort find something equally cutting in response - if female, something along the lines of 'don't wear that colour: it ages you and makes you look fat' should do the trick. If male - um - don't know. Something about penis size? Sorry I can't be of more help but really, these people! The arrogance of them. Dreamdaisy
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's odd but most of the time I seem to bew invisible these day's, I only become visible when something has or is going wrong or something bad is coming my way, and strangly I instantly appear and get the blame and a or a telling off, I then disappear and the cycle repeats. Odd really??
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Everything's odd with you, mellman! Hope you're tolerably well today. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    The reactions of the healthy never cease to amaze me. One day they'll find out. When I have my revolution, in addition to those who will be up against a wall to be shot, I shall arrange for an aerial drop of highly infectious arthritis spores. That'll learn them!

    Don't be afraid to respond with something equally insulting to them. If told you should make more effort find something equally cutting in response - if female, something along the lines of 'don't wear that colour: it ages you and makes you look fat' should do the trick. If male - um - don't know. Something about penis size? Sorry I can't be of more help but really, these people! The arrogance of them. Dreamdaisy

    Daisy - you do make me laugh!! You are great when you are indignant!! :lol::lol::lol:
    Next time someone crosses you - make sure I'm a fly on the wall ...

    Speedalong
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,884
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Zech

    I have seen this myself, but as I am able to walk - do try to talk to the person in the chair rather than their 'pusher' as I think that must be worse surely

    The only time i had to use one - I think I got ignored and didnt like the veiw of everyone else's bums :wink:

    Daisy

    I love this about the spores...."That'll learn them! "
    Very entertaing your rants - you and Mell would make a good double act! :wink:

    Love

    Toni xx
  • lorrayne
    lorrayne Member Posts: 25
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    When I am on my scooter waiting for friends outside shops I get old men coming to chat and be 'nice' to me, none of them have ever been rude but I do get a trapped feeling and feel very patronised and have to appear glad they are trying to cheer me up.

    I hate it when someone who knows me from years ago stops to chat and tell me they have awful arthritis and understand the pain but refuse to let it stop them do anything they want and then start running to catch a bus carrying tons of bags...that just makes me feel awful!

    DD I would like to buy a spray of Arthur spore please to have in my handbag x :wink:
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I do sometimes wonder if I should help peeps in wheelchairs or assume they want to do things for themselves.I would help anyone struggling to open a door or get something off a shelf anyway but dont like to interfere.Sometimes when i talk to a child the parent will say in a stroppy voice, he doesnt talk, he doesnt understand.But I am not a mind reader.

    I know a guy with a stutter and I always let him finish what he is saying. My son has speech difficulties and sort of mumbles.I know what he is saying through experience so do find myself interpreting things a lot.
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lorrayne wrote:
    When I am on my scooter waiting for friends outside shops I get old men coming to chat and be 'nice' to me, none of them have ever been rude but I do get a trapped feeling and feel very patronised and have to appear glad they are trying to cheer me up.

    I hate it when someone who knows me from years ago stops to chat and tell me they have awful arthritis and understand the pain but refuse to let it stop them do anything they want and then start running to catch a bus carrying tons of bags...that just makes me feel awful!

    DD I would like to buy a spray of Arthur spore please to have in my handbag x :wink:

    I know lots of peeps who say they have arthritis but can still do this or that( so why cant you?) This is my absolute worst thing.I am waiting for THR and ankle fusion but still get hinted remarks about going back to work.
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I will spend the afternoon developing arthritis spores. I shall sneeze a lot into plastic bags, that may do it! Free to all members of the forums. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,884
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    I will spend the afternoon developing arthritis spores. I shall sneeze a lot into plastic bags, that may do it! Free to all members of the forums. DD

    :shock:



    "First Suffolk......


    now the world!!!"


    Daisy

    I dont want none!!!!

    Toni xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's a gift you can give to others. Who would you have up against the wall when you have your revolution? My wall is getting pretty crowded! Rosie Millard heads it - hope you're not a relative of hers: if you are, my apologies. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,884
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh DaisyD

    A gift like for the boss :?: got it :oops:

    Not related to Rosie Millard, but woudl like some of her properties.....

    You got a secret laboratory in the cellar where you conduct experiments.....? :wink:

    Toni xx
  • cheshirefay
    cheshirefay Member Posts: 43
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi D D
    Sounds like a great idea the "up against a wall rant"
    I nominate Prince Charles and Camilla for a start .


    Would also like some Arthur spores to spray non disabled drivers who park in disabled places then sprint into the supermarket . :lol:

    Fay x
  • carolanivey
    carolanivey Member Posts: 64
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    I will spend the afternoon developing arthritis spores. I shall sneeze a lot into plastic bags, that may do it! Free to all members of the forums. DD

    LOL! Send me some across the pond!! :D

    FWIW, a friend of mine who is overweight was on an elevator, and a skinny woman got on, looked her up and down, and said "You know, I lost ten pounds by doing [insert weight loss program here]."

    My friend responded, "Well, it didn't teach you any manners, did it?"
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,884
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    NICE one Carolan :lol:

    Love

    Toni xx