stupid comments

bertyboy
bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
edited 17. May 2010, 08:14 in Living with Arthritis archive
we have been to see my mum this morning and bummped in to my sister there , and the stupid comments she has made have got me so cross , i have been on crutches for the past 18 months have just had a new knee , both knees have been as bad and her opening comment i thought you would be walking without them now , i am 19 days post op ,hello , when are you going back to work , why is it still swollen , i am the youngest of 4 and i am in my 50 tis , i am convinced they think i have had it done for fun :roll: i said i need to get my muscles working and stronger and allow my knee to heal her comment you wont do that while you have crutches , right sister dear what ever you say , will you pick me up from the floor , :roll:
I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx

Comments

  • sarahrockfan
    sarahrockfan Member Posts: 79
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh bertyboy some people have no idea :roll: . I have a member of the family too that says those sort of comments, not very helpful. I just try to ignore it but sometimes a rant is needed (I'm not a very confrontational person until I'm at boiling point and I only done it once. I wasn't rude just blunt) not much has been said after that :mrgreen:
    bertyboy wrote:
    we have been to see my mum this morning and bummped in to my sister there , and the stupid comments she has made have got me so cross , i have been on crutches for the past 18 months have just had a new knee , both knees have been as bad and her opening comment i thought you would be walking without them now , i am 19 days post op ,hello , when are you going back to work , why is it still swollen , i am the youngest of 4 and i am in my 50 tis , i am convinced they think i have had it done for fun :roll: i said i need to get my muscles working and stronger and allow my knee to heal her comment you wont do that while you have crutches , right sister dear what ever you say , will you pick me up from the floor , :roll:
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Berty, you have just reminded me - I ran into a long-time acquaintance (no more than that) on Friday who floored me. During the 'how-are-you' conversation she wanted to know why or how I had 'let Arther get me'.

    Hello? I don't remember standing in the middle of a field with my arms wide open shouting 'I'm here, arther'!

    Perhaps she meant 'get to me'? Well, if she had my knees and feet and hands and head she'd know it was impossible not to let it 'get to you' on occasion.
    Whatever, the question left me speechless. I did manage to mumble something about not having asked for it, but I still can't think of a better reply.........anybody got one?

    Annie
  • bailey27
    bailey27 Member Posts: 689
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So frustrating isnt it.... I get similar cmments, no about crutches but if I cant do something that i usually do with friends i have had one comment before when she said 'oh, you still got that arthritis?' sometimes it really drives me mad.... of course i have still got it, and always will!!! ggggrrrrrrr
  • ritwren
    ritwren Member Posts: 928
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Bertyboy I'm sorry to hear your Sister has been so insensitive. Sometimes folk have no idea of the impact their words. Perhaps a few leaflets about arthritis might enlighten her. Hang in there.
    rita.
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Berty,

    She is just dong what sisters do..... sometimes. Don't let her get to you cus its her problem. I wish families could be as understanding as strangers but leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a cyber kick for her good legs! Luv Cris xx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh dear, Berty, sisterly love. :roll: Try not let it get to you, you are a much nicer, sensitive person for all that has and is being thrown at you. You concentrate on getting well and then you can kick her in the shin, :shock: :wink: accidently, of course :lol:

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I often ponder - got that from Bubbles! - as to why people feel that they have to make some sort of controversial comment. Instead of just saying "Oh, nice to see you out and about".

    I had to laugh though Berty, because I got the opposite. I was very lucky with my TKR, amazing recovery, and left hospital with just one stick. By the time I was out and about, I was walking unaided, and I used to get people telling me that I was running before I could walk, and would do some damage to my new knee. Right luv, go and tell that to my surgeon, one of the most respected in the country, cos he told me this is what I should do!!

    Bloody know-alls!........Ange.
  • psyart
    psyart Member Posts: 600
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    annie_mial wrote:
    Berty, you have just reminded me - I ran into a long-time acquaintance (no more than that) on Friday who floored me. During the 'how-are-you' conversation she wanted to know why or how I had 'let Arther get me'.

    Hello? I don't remember standing in the middle of a field with my arms wide open shouting 'I'm here, arther'!

    Perhaps she meant 'get to me'? Well, if she had my knees and feet and hands and head she'd know it was impossible not to let it 'get to you' on occasion.
    Whatever, the question left me speechless. I did manage to mumble something about not having asked for it, but I still can't think of a better reply.........anybody got one?

    Annie

    Hi

    you could say that you wished for it as you heard it is such a pleasant thing to have and would she like to try it just for 1 day??????? :x :roll:

    or is that too sarcastic???? :oops: :oops:
    e050.gifo050.gif
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I must live in a very friendly part of the world and only know nice people :lol: because I had nothing but praise and exclamations of how well I was doing, and one acquaintance shouted across the road, before I saw her, "look at you riding your bike already", I nearly fell off, waving to her! :lol::lol:

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • only49
    only49 Member Posts: 1,207
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    bertyboy wrote:
    we have been to see my mum this morning and bummped in to my sister there , and the stupid comments she has made have got me so cross , i have been on crutches for the past 18 months have just had a new knee , both knees have been as bad and her opening comment i thought you would be walking without them now , i am 19 days post op ,hello , when are you going back to work , why is it still swollen , i am the youngest of 4 and i am in my 50 tis , i am convinced they think i have had it done for fun :roll: i said i need to get my muscles working and stronger and allow my knee to heal her comment you wont do that while you have crutches , right sister dear what ever you say , will you pick me up from the floor , :roll:
    i know what you mean you expect your imediate family would at least care and help but i know myself sad i know but hubby and my son are the ones who understand the best, my family well, the less said the better, try not to even talk about them now, as they never been there for me and i cant see it even changing oh well they say you can choose your friends but you can choose your family, i would of changed mine long ago if i could :):):):)
    sylvia :)stern02.gif
  • cheshirefay
    cheshirefay Member Posts: 43
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Did you want to hit her with those crutches :roll:

    Healthy people really have no idea what it is like to stuggle all the time to do just little things.

    Could another familly member have a quiet word to tell her how upsetting and demoralising her comments are?

    You sound as if you are doing great so keep up the good work getting your strength back.
    Fay xx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    skezier wrote:
    Hi Berty,

    She is just dong what sisters do..... sometimes. Don't let her get to you cus its her problem. I wish families could be as understanding as strangers but leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a cyber kick for her good legs! Luv Cris xx



    cris like this idea cyber stamps and kicks for those who get to us great idea val
    val
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    i treasure each and every one of you xxx thank you xx
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bertie
    I had a THR not TKR {Same difference lol}and I had one "good "friend tell me how her sister felt completely better almost immediately. {about 1 week post op} Others tell you about people that they know that were doing wonderful things "shortly after their op" THEY MAKE ME SICK!!! LOL
    Love
    Hileena
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I find elderly people understand exactly well you get more simpathy and the younger ones dont.
    My dad worryed about me and my sister told him he shouldnt worry as im fine. Things are ok not like in the olden days when auntie may and flo had it. Its nothing now she told him. :roll:
    Joanne
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Remember this retort when she says something so stupid again, (and she will 'cos that's what siblings do, apparently - lucky me, I'm an only).

    Her: Why are you still on crutches? You are such a wuss.

    You: You shouldn't wear that colour, it ages you enormously and makes you look fatter than you already are.

    Immature, yes. Satisfying? I hope so! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    Remember this retort when she says something so stupid again, (and she will 'cos that's what siblings do, apparently - lucky me, I'm an only).

    Her: Why are you still on crutches? You are such a wuss.

    You: You shouldn't wear that colour, it ages you enormously and makes you look fatter than you already are.

    Immature, yes. Satisfying? I hope so! DD

    this did make me smile but would i dare say such a thing lol. mind you have two brothers and do not see that much of them as one lives other end of country and the one who lives near always feels he is better than me well that how he makes me feel but to be honest happy as i am and if he do not like it tough val
    val
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    From my understanding and observations, sisters are far mor bitchy, catty and hurtful than brothers. Women are very good at undermining the confidence of other women with a well-aimed verbal dart. Men are much more straightforward - they have punch-up and it's sorted! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    Another reply.....I wont be using crutches much longer....that will be sorted. What about your face...not much you can do about that LOL
    Sorry.....nasty but couldnt resist it....change face to figure or whatever you want to LOL

    Love
    Hileena
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi families can be most insensitive! My mother in law said at least you havent anything serious! I said no just pain 24/7 stupid woman! Try not to let it get to you. Take care love Maria x
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, I've got a sister who's a bit like that! I think its because she's been quite lucky and never really had anything much to cope with.
    I just try and bite my tonge and sat nothing. I have tried explaining, but it always ends in a row. She can also never be wrong.

    This makes her sound horribe and she certainly isn't. She just has difficulty seeing the point from other perspectieve. In a way, I feel sorry for her as she's never really relaxed and happy for long.
    Love Sue
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bertyboy

    It's been 3 months since my TKR and my knee is still a bit swollen and it hurts every now and again. Don't listen to these comments... it takes ages to get your strength back. I had my 3 monthly review today and my leg is still not straight enough and I have to ensure I don't stop my physio even for a day. Keep up your exercises. If you still need your crutches use them. The physiotherapist advised me to give them up after 5 weeks in the house and now I don't use them at all unless we go out for a long walk. Saying all this we are all different and recover at different rates.

    With regards

    Sharmaine
    bertyboy wrote:
    we have been to see my mum this morning and bummped in to my sister there , and the stupid comments she has made have got me so cross , i have been on crutches for the past 18 months have just had a new knee , both knees have been as bad and her opening comment i thought you would be walking without them now , i am 19 days post op ,hello , when are you going back to work , why is it still swollen , i am the youngest of 4 and i am in my 50 tis , i am convinced they think i have had it done for fun :roll: i said i need to get my muscles working and stronger and allow my knee to heal her comment you wont do that while you have crutches , right sister dear what ever you say , will you pick me up from the floor , :roll: