Has anyone else been made to feel like a fraud?

rach1986
rach1986 Member Posts: 32
edited 24. May 2010, 08:56 in Living with Arthritis archive
I had an appointment with an orthopaedic surgeon last week at my local hospital. It was the first one where they assess you and give you x-rays etc. The woman I talked to first was a physio and she asked me all the questions etc. I wish I'd done what people on here suggested and written down questions, plus written how I feel because I felt really nervous there and not sure if I explained properly to her. She prodded and poked my wrist asking the usual question "does this hurt" and yes some of it did but if it didn't then I was honest and said no. She looked at an xray they already had from september last year and then said she needed the orthpaedic surgeon to look at it. He came in, barely acknowledged me, glanced at the xray, said "hmm" and then poked my wrist several times. He said something about me having a "low pain threshold" and then headed for the door saying he doesn't see that there is anything wrong with my wrist, and then said "I'm not going to sign you off work you know!" I don't even have a job because I couldn't cope with the pain! And i really want a job, need a job even, I'm going crazy with nothing to do and never thought I'd say that!


He made me so furious, once he'd left the room I burst into tears which was embarassing, I said I felt like he made me feel like a fake, a fraud, like the pain is all in my head.

Anyway after I'd calmed down and got over feeling like an idiot she sent me for more xrays with my hand in different positions and then once she'd looked at them she said that she couldn't see anything wrong. She had the cheek to tell me it may be something I'll just have to live with, something that they wont be able to give a name to. Considering I was told by my GP seven months ago that I have arthritis in my wrist I'm now really confused!
She told me that they will give me an MRI on it, which I have an appointment for on thursday 20th at 7pm, but she said the likelihood is that it won't show anything up either, and that they cant do any more for me!!!

I was fuming after my appointment, I don't want to go for the MRI, I feel like its a waste of my time, a waste of the nhs's money, not to mention the idea of lying in a big tube for up to 90 minutes doesn't exactly fill me with excitement.

They've made me feel like a huge fake, when I'm not, I'm in pain all the time, especially since the appointment, the one thats annoying me the most is the constant cramp in my fingers.
Has anyone else been told that their pain isn't real, by a doctor? Or the people who are supposed to help?

Comments

  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rach, I'm sorry to hear he upset you the way he spoke to you is disgusting. Its a hard one Pain as you can't see it doesn't mean you don't have pain. Go back and see your GP see if he can refer you to another hospital or a different consultant. Do go for your mri If you don't you might allways be wondering what it could have shown up. Sending you a ((((hug)))) please do let us know how you get on.
    Take care.

    Julie x
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,900
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Rach

    that was awful - you poor thing :(

    If only they realised that most of us feel like we are wasting their time anyway - maybe they would treat us with more compassion.

    I think you should go for the MRI - look it up on the net and you will see that it shows up soft tissue damage and that may be really useful.

    Please dont feel a fraud - go for the apt - dont go alone - but go. Then see your GP who might be able to expain all of this far better than me.

    Take care

    Love

    Toni xx
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi rach,

    So sorry you had such a horrible experience at the ortho. :(

    please do go for the MRI...as Toni said it shows up more than an xray and will be worth going to. :wink:

    I wonder if the cramp you have in your hand is caused by swelling in the wrist pressing on the nerves...tunnel carpel syndrome?

    don't give up on this Rach...speak to your GP as Julie suggested and tell him what happened and how you feel. Your pain is real!

    gentle (((hugs)))

    Iris x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rach,

    Definitely go for the MRI. It may well prove the medics wrong. How dare they imply what they were, to you today. Even if it does not show up anything, keep on, keeping on, your pain is real. Start to keep a diary. I would not give up at all, but be more determined to prove these people wrong.

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • cheshirefay
    cheshirefay Member Posts: 43
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rach,
    Really sorry you have been so upset by the staff at your appointment . Do go for the MRI , as the others have said It will show up far more than the xray and hopefully will pin point the problem in your wrist.

    I would consider a letter of complaint to the hospital about this rude and arrogant consultant . Why did he assume you wanted to be signed off work!!! I would imagine like the rest of us you would love to feel well enough to hold down a full time job , I know I would give anything to feel healthy.

    To answer your question , yes I have been made to feel a fraud on many occasions , It is devastating and really knocks your confidence but you know that you are NOT a fraud so dont let this one appointment get to you. Go back to your Gp and ask if you can see someone else but have the MRI first !!
    Fay x
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    so sorry this jumped up person who is so full of him self treated you like this. your gp knows you are in pain so go for scan they do show different things if they thought there was nothing to find they would not be sending you for one they cost money and they do not waste it. then go see your gp explaine what happened and ask for second opinion. we know it not in your head we know how bad the pain can be and we are with you every step of the way good luck val
    val
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi and so sorry about your horrible appointment. I have spent the past year going through the same kind of thing and have lost count of the number of times I have come out of an appointment crying tears of embarrassment, rage and frustration and swearing never to go back. I know that others will have had the same thing happen to them so you are definitely not alone in this. Like you, I have been unable to work and yet nobody seems to take this on board and it got to the point where I started to think I was going mad. You really have to hang on the fact that your pain is very real and you wouldn't have pain like that unless there was something very wrong.
    Like the others have said I think it is important to go for the scan - and perhaps hang on to the thought that, because scans are expensive, they wouldn't have referred you for a scan if they really thought there was nothing wrong. And once you have the result, you can work out where to go from there.
    Really good luck with your scan appt - and please keep us updated.
    Thinking of you. Tilly x
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Some surgeons have definately missed out on their charm school placement and have the bedside manner of a black widow spider. We used to get them on the wards all the time, more holy than God, with student Drs fussing around them. I never bowed to their whims and moods, I had a ward to run, not pander to them. Woe betide if you called them Dr, they are MR.
    You have had a bad experience and that is a sad reflection on the staff involved, shame on them. Pain is indeed very difficult to quantify and some can tollerate far more than others. I did have a similar experience with a physio, who said that perhaps you expect the pain to be there. No love, don't dare patronise me, I don't want the pain at all, ever, it is real and don't you doubt it, that is why you have just had to haul me up from the couch, because I cannot do it myself, believe me, if I could, I would, it is not my life choice. She soon shut up. Go for every test that they offer, never mind the cost to the NHS, an MRI is far short of the cost of a boardroom lunch. Take care
    XXXX Bubbles.
    XX Aidan (still known as Bubbles).
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rach,

    Oh consultants...... They deal with their bit but often not other things and there are so many things that don't come up in xray so go for the MRI and to hell with him! As to have I ever been made to feel a fraud.... yep too often. Now a days I have very clear clinical signs of the arthritis but back along that wasn’t the case and they do seem to have a god complex at times..... Please don't let it get to you.

    I think the others have said the best stuff and hopefully your gp will be able to sort out a different consultant or hospital for you if the MRI also comes back with no explanation. How ever low a pain threshold is (and I am not saying yours is) there has to be pain present... so something is wrong regardless! Don't start thinking its not there and hopefully you will get better and kinder treatment soon. A ((( ))) and hang in there. Cris x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Do the MRI. It's on your wrist, not the biggest of body parts and should be dome in about 20 minutes, possibly less.

    So what if you have a low pain threshold? We're not robots, we're people and stuff hurts. The MRI will give a much more detailed picture of what is happening and then you may get the treatment and respect you deserve. If you feel that affronted write to your hospital to complain - use the PALs service that most hospitals have, I think, or write direct to the boss! Let us know how it all turns out. Dreamdaisy
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • rach1986
    rach1986 Member Posts: 32
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for the advice and support everyone, I got back a little while ago from my mri scan, wasn't anywhere near as scary as I thought it would be, I didn't even have to put on a gown, just take off my belt and anything metal. It seemed like a very long 40 minutes and I cant straighten my arm fully because of lying on it its all stiff and sore and somehow I've managed to bruise my knee and I think my hip too lol, talk about clumsy. It was a bit weird with all the banging noises and I'm glad its done with. I really hope it shows something up, now I'm getting nervous about the next appointment with the orthopaedic guy. I really hated his attitude last time but I feel that if I do try to see someone else at a diffferent hospital that I'd have to wait another 2 months before getting to see anyone. Its one thing after another lol, but at least I can relax for a few weeks.

    The stress over the mri is gone thank god, and I have to say to anyone reading this that has to go for a MRI scan not to stress and worry over it, trust me its nothing bad or scary :lol: xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    They are a doddle but if you've never had one before you don't know that. Yes, it's noisy and yes, it's uncomfortable but it will give good feedback. This is a big step forward for you, please keep in touch and let us know the outcome. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael,

    I have not been a regular visitor on the forum for a bit and have read your post but not the replies - so I'm sorry if am repeating what others have said ...

    Don't let them make you feel like a fraud, only you know the pain you are experiencing.

    Definitely go for the MRI the doc would not have sent you unless he felt it was of use. MRIs pick up different things to x rays. Also, I read that X rays do not give a clear indication of pain associated with arther.

    Keep an open mind at this time - your GP might have got it wrong - on what evidence did he base his arther diagnosis on? What I'm trying to say is it might be something other than arther ... so stick with finding out what the cause is.

    Keep us posted,

    Speedalong
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • silverbreak
    silverbreak Member Posts: 46
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone, reading this post brought back some memories of dealings I've had with local GP. After a visit re chronic back ache I was sent for x rays after I persisted. On return to GP for results I was told that I was suffering from wear and tear which was fair enough but unprompted GP told me ' you can't have a blue badge!'
    well I hadn't wanted one I had simply told him how painful it was to carry heavy boxes etc.
    I was somewhat aggrieved by his attitude so under the Freedom of Info. Act I requested a copy of my medical notes. When I subsequently got my copy some weeks later the notes said I had OA of cervical spine, Spondylolythesis and scoliosis of the lumbar spine or in GP talk 'wear and tear'. The notes for my GP visit also included the comment 'Patient is finding it hard coming to terms with middle age'.
    This is possibly true but I am in full time work and struggling to cope with an increasingly painful body. sorry whinge over.
  • ailsamary
    ailsamary Member Posts: 38
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    can empathise with this is so common, i didnt want a scan on back as i knew i already had arthritis there as it showed up in xray - needs to get to a certain level before it gets to that, but the pain management doc insisted i needed an mri before ought could be done, well it showed i have prolapsing/prolasped discs and a crumbling spine, as i work in a+e i got one of our consultants to review it, and he said i may need surgery,

    when i got to the clinic it was then poopoo'd and was told i had mild damage which he wrote in the notes, HOWEVER on then realising my occupation he asked what i wanted and i said relief from one set of pain so i could function better, i'm now waitng an appointment to have an epidural on my back, (i also have severe OA and planter fascitits)

    from the professional point i must admit that we get so many cases in where folks have so much wrong with them that when some others come in i have to admit to thinking ......."oh get on with it", this heat has made my joints much worse and at the weekend when someone was saying about their swelling in their legs, i showed them mine,

    to be fair though normally we have a conversation and i give them hints and tips