Upsetting end to the day

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jaspercat
jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
edited 27. May 2010, 04:45 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi, my mum died some years ago and her ashes are buried in a country churchyard, my brother has been today and the vicar says mum should be moved because we moved away, I am going to try and speak to someone on wednesday, all this upset has set my RA to start hurting, I was actually having a good day today love jaspercatxx

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  • whalewatcher
    whalewatcher Member Posts: 90
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jaspercat
    Oh, this is really cruel. Can the vicar do that? I've never heard of such a thing.
    I hope you & your brother can talk together & work out what is the best way to approach this tomorrow.
    Time to take good care of yourself.

    Whalewatcher
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm so sorry to hear that....you have enough to cope with.....can the vicar really do that?....So that means if you were wandering ab out the country or had a job that took you to different places it would have to happen each time???????
    Make plenty of enquiries and I hope things turn out OK
    Love
    Hileen a
  • dolittle
    dolittle Member Posts: 240
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I've never heard the like of it in my life! How inhumane. I'm appauled.
    Sorry this has happened to you, as the others say, you've got enough to put up with.
    I'd contact his boss and ask if this is fitting behaviour for the church. Hope you can sort it out without any hassle.
    Dolittle
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I have never heard anything so ridiculous in my life. I hope you get this sorted.

    I find stress makes my pain worse too.

    Speedalong
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    go see cab this can not be right what if no family left do they throw them out then it silly sure they can not do this.
    val
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    hugs to you Jaspercat that sounds just awful what ever happened to the words R.I.P please get some advise about it all maybe have a word with your mp local paper , it is so very wrong xxxxxxx
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jaspercat,

    Sorry I'm late. This just isn't right! The vicar is out of order and showing no empathy or consideration and well I think its also wrong....... My lot are all buried and the graves are 'bought' for 100 or more years but surely the same system works across the bored? I am horrified at the vicars attitude and please go up the chain to who ever his boss is. I think its a Bishop? I am not totally sure about the chain in all denominations though.

    I certainly would kick up and well leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a hope you can stop this very quickly as its got to be so upsetting. Luv Cris xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jasper

    that is very very odd!!!

    what a very odd thing to suggest!

    Is he short of space? Is he asking everyone to 'move' their loved ones??

    I hope you feel strong enough to sort this one out.

    Love and hugs

    Toni xx
  • patriciamary
    patriciamary Member Posts: 117
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Toni. This is unbelievable. Whatever has happened to the "Christian Attitude". I would be fighting this all the way. I know you dont need the hassle but surely the church cannot evict people because their family have moved. I know they probably want someone to keep the site tidy but what if the buried person does not have any family? If you dont get any joy from the minister go to a higher authority. Also contact the local paper and I think you will be surprised at how quickly the minister changes his mind and says its all a misunderstanding. Thinking of you and sending my best wishes to you.
    Regards
    Trisha
  • jaspercat
    jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi everyone, a quick update for you, I have spoken to the vicar today, he says that my brother misunderstood? no-one can unearth my mum's ashes unless we apply to the home office, I told him that we had no intention of moving her because I really like the churchyard, he apologised for upsetting us love Jaspercatxx
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi
    glad when i got to end of posts matter was sorted out..was going to say get vicar moved instead as never heard of such a thing!
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I have never heard of this happening how discusting, uncaring so unchristion. :x :x :x That man is a disgrace. I think you have enough to cope with without this as well. im so sorry. I hope you can sort this this is shocking :shock: :shock: huggs to you will pray for you im so sorry to hear this. huggs joanne
    Joanne
  • marion1952
    marion1952 Member Posts: 963
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hope you are feeling better Jaspercat. That was a worrying few days for you.

    Marion x
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    so pleased you have had an appology ,i hope nobody else has to go through the same ,take care xxx
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx
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