Snowdome

dreamdaisy · 26. May 2010, 12:37

I'm sure you know what a snowdome is. My gran had a corker that would appear every Christmas, a crib scene, complete with star and little flakes of snow: turn it upside down, or shake it, turn it the right way up and sparkly bits would descend on Joseph, Mary and their new-born child. Very apt for a Middle Eastern setting.

I think we live in individual snowdomes - well, I do, and mine has been turned upside down, shaken, put back, but nothing is settling.

The Husband and me went to our local on Saturday, where we bumped into a couple we hadn't seen for two or three years. The husband (who I shall label A) was a friend of mine, his wife (B) a friend of my husband. We had introduced them ages ago, they fell in love, married and had children, the youngest being a girl just turned 10 (C). We laughed and chatted and exchanged new mobile numbers and promised to meet up properly soon, like you always do. 'A' seemed to be in good spirits, but a lot thinner than I remembered. He said he'd been on a diet, and felt fantastic.

We came home, The Husband cooked, then, while watching the footy, fell fast asleep. I came down and went on here, then received a text from 'A' that really unsettled me. Lord I felt scratchy and fractious and discombobulated (I apologise for the posts, not my usual stuff). I replied to the text as best I could, then went to bed.

Sunday morning came, and almost went. We were sitting in bed reading the papers and the 'phone rang. It was 'B', telling me that 'A' had killed himself in the small hours of Sunday. His body had been found by his youngest daughter. My snowdome was picked up, turned over, shaken and shaken and shaken. It has been put down, but I'm not the right way up yet, and I have no idea what is settling on me. The message that unsettled me so much was 'Goodbye'.

My apologies for upsetting anyone on Saturday. I'll come back when I can, if you want me. I hope you are all OK, all recovering from your various ops and procedures.

Keep healthy. DD

skezier · 26. May 2010, 13:11

Oh DD what an awful thing for you. Its a real shaking and I wish I knew what I can say to get you the right way up.

What you mustn't do is take his choice on your self...... I promise you if he was going to nothing could have stopped him.

I am so sorry and all I can do is give you as much support as I can and leave you a (((( )))) Luv Cris xx

patriciamary · 26. May 2010, 13:26

Hi DD, Im so sorry for the really horrible time that you are going through at present. I have'nt been on for a few days and when I logged on today I was going over all the posts and thought DD has'nt posted and was hoping that you were not unwell. Please believe me when I say there was nothing you could have done. You must remember the good time you had with him in the pub, not the later message you received. Im thinking of you and sending you my kindest wishes and hope to see you posting soon.
Love and hugs
Trisha

frogmorton · 26. May 2010, 13:47

Oh Daisy

that is incredible and truly awful. You poor poor thing.

We could hold on to the sides of your snowdome to try to settle it for you if it helps.

and yes oF COURSE you are wanted.

Please take care

Love

Toni xx

tillytop · 26. May 2010, 14:56

Oh DD I am so, so very sorry about what has happened. I too had been wondering if you were ok cos hadn't seen you posting for a few days. I know that there is probably nothing anyone can say to help you feel any better right now, but please know that our thoughts are with you - and if it helps to talk about it we're here to listen. Thinking of you. Love Tilly xxx

dippydoodah · 26. May 2010, 15:01

DD im so so sorry to hear what has happened, you must be feeling very shaken by it all. I know I dont really know you very well but just wanted to offer my condolences and support and let you know I am also thinking of you and hope you are ok.

Caroline x

valval · 26. May 2010, 15:03

hi sorry this is awfull but if those with him could not do any thing to help him you who have not seen him for ages did not stand a chance and the text could have been inocent and just been a friend thinking they had missed saying good bye when you left no one would have expected him to do what he did. ((())) take care and thanks for sharing val

barbara12 · 26. May 2010, 15:29

Hi DD
I am so sorry for what you are going through, life seems to throw some really horrible things at us, I hope that talking to us will help you.
Please come back when you are up to it, we are all here to help one another.
you take care
Barbara xx

annie_mial · 26. May 2010, 15:35

Oh, DD, what a dreadful thing to happen to you! No wonder you are being shaken about...........perhaps we could turn into a big umbrella for you and help to hold off the flakes, we seem to manage most things on here.

Come on in a post whenever you feel like it, always tea and sympathy going in the cafe, plus buckets of fortitude and energy and the odd mug of steadiness. I have made use of all and assure you they often work a treat.

((((((((((()))))))))) to you.......
Annie
xx

ironic · 26. May 2010, 16:55

DD I am really sorry to hear about your friend. I dont know how to comfort you at this awful time.

Please dont sit there on your own, talk to us when you are ready.
Sending you and OH my support at this sad and confusing time.

Ix

Wonkylegs · 26. May 2010, 17:57

OH DD that is one heck of a shock for all of you.

sending you comforting hugs (((((((((())))))))))))) cos I don't have a clue what else to say.

thinking of you
Wonky xxx

lindalegs · 26. May 2010, 18:07

I'm so very sad for you DD

If only he hadn't sent you that text, you maybe wouldn't be feeling quite so unsettled although you obviously would have been still very upset. It was a thoughtless thing for him to do ............or do you think he was trying to make a bigger impact on you all by sending it.

Suicide is so terrible for those left behind.

Don't leave us DD, we've missed you being around.

Luv Legs

elnafinn · 26. May 2010, 18:16

Dear DD

I am so very sorry to read your message. You know you will most definitely be welcomed with open arms when you feel ready to return to the fold. You have already been missed. Thank you for telling us why you have not been with us for the past few days. I hope that by sharing this with us, the burden has been very slightly lessened if only by a mere fraction.

Love and gentle hugs
Elna x

kathbee · 26. May 2010, 20:33

That is such a very sad thing to happen
and no wonder you are shocked and upset.

You probably feel like you are the last person
he 'spoke' to and its bound to have such an
impact on you and your husband.

His family must be devastated as you are.

Take care
Everyone is thinking of you

Kath

trisher · 26. May 2010, 20:53

Hi Dream Daisie

I have only just seen this. I'm sorry for what must have been a terrible shock for his daughter and the rest of the family also you.

Saturday was Saturday, forget it. Come back when you feel able to.

Sending you some (((((())))))

Love Trish xxx

mummyb · 27. May 2010, 00:38

Hi DD just wanted to send you some hugs (((((())))) and to let you know people are thinking about you at this very sad and awful time. Try and stay strong, love, Brenda xx

dreamdaisy · 27. May 2010, 06:18

Thank you everyone for your mesages of support and encouragement. The snowdome has settled, I have no idea what is drifitng down around me, but I did laugh earlier today, first time since Sunday - thank you Babycham for that!

I know I couldn't have done anything - that bit doesn't bother me. What does is the fact that, despite his meticulous planning, he didn't (couldn't? wouldn't) take it one step further and think about the effect finding his body would have on the person who found it. Obviously he didn't know who that would be but, given where he did it and how he did it, it would be a family member. That's the bit that gets me.

Subject now closed. DD is slowly coming back to her old self. I hope you are all well and tolerably happy and relatively pain-free. Off to post some other replies: no doubt you have all missed my pearls of wisdom! Dreamdaisy

And once again, thank you all.

tjc123 · 27. May 2010, 08:27

Lovely to have you back DD ((((xxx))))

tjc

skezier · 27. May 2010, 08:30

Hi DD,

Glad your back and feeling a bit better. I think when you get to that point you don't think about the finding side flower so try not to let that cloud you too much. I hope with support and hopefully some counselling his daughter will be ok. Its not a good thing at all but glad your back. ((((( ))))) Luv Cris xx

frogmorton · 27. May 2010, 09:15

DaisyD

Well that is good

Glad you are a bit better. glad I will be seeing you about again soon

Think that when you are THAT depressed you honestly honestly beleive that evryone would be better off without you.

Love
and huge hugs

Toni xx