school summer holidays loomimg

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 06:39

hello everyone

2 weeks till summer holidays here, even though its not much like summer here today, I just had D socail worker on the phone saying he wants to come and see us and see if we will need any more help, oh yeah, the same one we not that keen on as we would prefer him to disapear in a poof of smoke, unfortuantley thats not going to happen

the joys of perenting someone with specail needs.

good thing he turning into a lovely man, and thats down to us, as i had to get something from downstairs this morning and he was already up on his computer anyway, arthur decided to kick me on my knees to say I'm still here and i said ouch and D said thats your athritis ? i said oh yeah thats arthur alright so that just proves he understands

speedalong · 11. Jun 2010, 06:51

Hi, Two weeks to the summer hols!!! S has only just gone back this week for the start of the second half of the summer term!! You can't be in England then??

A social worker however infuriating offering extra support over the summer hols .... you're joking right?!?! I parent S - who has classic autism (that's the severe end of the spectrum) - getting any help??? Not a chance!!! Social services where we are *!*!* They'd rather wait for the parent/carer to have a breakdown/the child young person to be in dire straits before acting/offering help.

Sounds like you are doing a fab job - well done.

I teach children with special needs too - (currently off sick recovering from this op,) doesn't matter how hard we work with the children in their few short hours at school ... the parents are the ones that make the real difference.

Speedy

dreamdaisy · 11. Jun 2010, 07:04

The school year is an anachronism. It needs to be redrafted into four terms of equal length, half terms abolished and perhaps only 3 weeks off in the summer, max. My profession needs a kick up the backside and this would be the place to start.

You are in Orkeny, aren't you only49? The Scottish system is different to ours in that you break earlier in the summer but go back in August - do I have that right? DD

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 07:53

dreamdaisy wrote:

The school year is an anachronism. It needs to be redrafted into four terms of equal length, half terms abolished and perhaps only 3 weeks off in the summer, max. My profession needs a kick up the backside and this would be the place to start.

You are in Orkeny, aren't you only49? The Scottish system is different to ours in that you break earlier in the summer but go back in August - do I have that right? DD

yes D D we break up on the 25th june and D goes back on the the 18th august ( i think ) and his birthdat will be on the 21st so i think that will be 7 weeks, and during the end of july we going away for 2 weeks and then we when come back he start school, i have to get my act together and put together a holiday book for him of where we going, only trouble is he cant tell the time, and that is going to cause him bother while we are away. oh well got to have a holiday

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 08:01

speedalong wrote:

Hi, Two weeks to the summer hols!!! S has only just gone back this week for the start of the second half of the summer term!! You can't be in England then??

A social worker however infuriating offering extra support over the summer hols .... you're joking right?!?! I parent S - who has classic autism (that's the severe end of the spectrum) - getting any help??? Not a chance!!! Social services where we are *!*!* They'd rather wait for the parent/carer to have a breakdown/the child young person to be in dire straits before acting/offering help.

Sounds like you are doing a fab job - well done.

I teach children with special needs too - (currently off sick recovering from this op,) doesn't matter how hard we work with the children in their few short hours at school ... the parents are the ones that make the real difference.

Speedy

no speedy i live in scotland, on the Orkney isalnds, have you heard of the shetland isles? we the group just of the top of the scottish mainland, if you have a mapbook look for a place called THURSO and you wont be far off, as we got a ferry that takes 1 1/2 hours that goes from scrabster to stromness.

Speedy do you think specail schools are better than mainstream ones? we did have one but its now a mainstream school, i think its a shame, as a friend i know who has a son who 20 something and he used to go to a specail school.

dreamdaisy · 11. Jun 2010, 08:14

I'm not speedalong but as I work with special-needs (SN) children I can answer too! I think they are essential because not all SN children can cope in mainstream, and mainstream cannot manage some forms of special needs.

The SN children who can manage in mainstream would include the partially-sighted, deaf, some Aspergers (not all) and some autistics (dependant upon the severity of the autism) and the general, global slow-learners. (global meaning slow to speak, read, write). Those who cannot cope in mainstream would include totally blind, deaf and dumb, severe Aspergers and autistic, and the behaviourally-challenged. I do think that ADD and ADHD diagnoses are valid for some, but not all. We also need particular education schemes for the gifted, who are often overlooked and ignored in mainstream.

Mainstream is OK for the majority of children as is the level of teaching available. Teachers, however, are not equipped to deal with boys such as D and S, nor are they good at responding to the children I work with (regarding them as lazy and thick). Particular conditions require skilled teaching - I do not expect my dentist to come round and repair my telly, but we expect teachers to deal with everything. Special schools are essential, and not only for the children. They help the parents of those children too. Bring them back. DD

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 08:41

dreamdaisy wrote:

I'm not speedalong but as I work with special-needs (SN) children I can answer too! I think they are essential because not all SN children can cope in mainstream, and mainstream cannot manage some forms of special needs.

The SN children who can manage in mainstream would include the partially-sighted, deaf, some Aspergers (not all) and some autistics (dependant upon the severity of the autism) and the general, global slow-learners. (global meaning slow to speak, read, write). Those who cannot cope in mainstream would include totally blind, deaf and dumb, severe Aspergers and autistic, and the behaviourally-challenged. I do think that ADD and ADHD diagnoses are valid for some, but not all. We also need particular education schemes for the gifted, who are often overlooked and ignored in mainstream.

Mainstream is OK for the majority of children as is the level of teaching available. Teachers, however, are not equipped to deal with boys such as D and S, nor are they good at responding to the children I work with (regarding them as lazy and thick). Particular conditions require skilled teaching - I do not expect my dentist to come round and repair my telly, but we expect teachers to deal with everything. Special schools are essential, and not only for the children. They help the parents of those children too. Bring them back. DD

thanks D D i feel as strongly as you, i think we need one here right now and i do know D would be far better there, as i dont think they understand him, as my niece once said to me a specail child for a specail person, and the same applys to D he a specail person and should have a specail school.

nice to know you think the same as me.

speedalong · 11. Jun 2010, 10:47

only trouble is he cant tell the time, and that is going to cause him bother while we are away. oh well got to have a holiday

Expand on what you mean - do you mean he won't understand what day he goes on hols, comes back, starts school again etc??

I ask because I spend a lot of time at home (with S) and at school (special needs) devising ways to explain things to children with learning difficulties/communication difficulties and I maybe able to make a few suggestions ...

Speedy

speedalong · 11. Jun 2010, 10:51

Hi again, just read your next post re special schools and DD's reply ... I agree with you both - wholeheartedly.

Speedy

dreamdaisy · 11. Jun 2010, 10:58

Well, we can dream, can't we? It's not going to happen, that's for sure. It is so dreadfully unfair for autistic children. I have come across a fair few in my time and they share a certain number of characterisitcs, noticeably frightened of loud noise, needing a strict routine and obsessions. No mainstream school can overcome those problems: they are the noisiest places on earth, routines can be altered at the drop of a hat, and general teaching staff do not have a clue where to begin with the obsession/repetitive behaviour etc that can occur when the child is under stress. I despair. And I am sure you two do as well. DD

frogmorton · 11. Jun 2010, 10:59

Hi All

School HOLS???!!! :shock: :shock:

AhA! reading more carefully yours are ahead of ours there Sylv - phew!! buT not phew for you eh

Having worked in 'special schools' I agree with all of you taht there is certainly a place for them and I hope they never do away with them.

Love

Toni xx

PS Sylvia I hope the SW has some good ideas maybe - some hope?? :?

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 11:26

speedalong wrote:

only trouble is he cant tell the time, and that is going to cause him bother while we are away. oh well got to have a holiday

Expand on what you mean - do you mean he won't understand what day he goes on hols, comes back, starts school again etc??

I ask because I spend a lot of time at home (with S) and at school (special needs) devising ways to explain things to children with learning difficulties/communication difficulties and I maybe able to make a few suggestions ...

Speedy

gladly speedy

might be a bit boring but bear with me

when we go away from home, the travelling bit is ok but its when we get to when we travelling then that is where the trouble begins, he gets very upset and i mean upset,

if i on top of things and get in there quick ( like Greece lighting ) and distract him with something very silly, sooty and co or something that appeals to his wacky sense of humour it is hard going but i can get him out of it, but for the whole time we are away he says " what's happening to my home" when are we going Home, who's looking after my home, i miss my home, etc, and when we are away he wakes up at least 3 times and calls for me every night, i hate it when this happens its like someone kicking me in the guts i really feel for him poor boy, i tried a calendar with pictures but it works at home but it don't have the same effect away, almost as if he just don't understand or cant.

I think what started all this problem is when we moved from our other house over 5 or more years ago, fortunately we had to go back to a house that was empty and he was so petrified he then at the time wet his self with fear, i never seen that happen before but god knows how he must have felt, he was 4 at the time and now rapidly approaching 15 .

I hope you can help or have any ideas as i hate it when he goes through this.

joyful164 · 11. Jun 2010, 12:36

It sounds like things have not changed much in the years since my son was at school. He' dyslectic. He is now nearly 40.

It took well into his 3rd year in the juniors to realised this problem and then there seemed to be almost a year of meetings with child psychologists to determine that it was dislectsya.As soon as they had made the decision, it mean't that my son got into a special needs class, just 18 months before starting senior school. He was a good two years behind normal children.

In all of the time leading up to the dx, he was called disruptive, lazy etc. Why is there so much apathy amongst some, not all to try and get things moving. Why are they not taught to identify that there could be a problem. The certainly have enough training days off in the year.

Joy

dreamdaisy · 11. Jun 2010, 12:50

I feel for you, joyful. I coach dyslexics and they are still being bullied by teachers - and I use the word 'bullied' in its correct context. Because the majority of people can read and write with some degree of fluency they have no understanding of those who cannot. They cannot comprehend why it is so difficult, but neither can they explain why they find it so easy. We have one of the worst illiteracy rates in the EU: we're down there with Portugal, Greece and some of the Eastern European countries. The Nordic countries tend to be top, and when you look at their education systems it's not surprising that they are.

For only49 it's a little more complicated as D is autisitic. The complications that brings are enormous. I have only admiration for the way she handles him. She is an excellent mother. DD

speedalong · 11. Jun 2010, 12:52

Hi Only49 -

that is not boring at all. You sound a very resourceful lady. I will get my thinking cap on ... and get back to you. His reasons are understandable aren't they, poor thing.

Speedy

tkachev · 11. Jun 2010, 12:55

i have one autistic child at mainstream and one at special school and i much prefer the special school. I feel my son is safe and understood whereas my other son at mainstream is left to get on with it and gets upset very easily by the constant changes and lack of understanding.

Elizabeth

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 14:51

speedalong wrote:

Hi Only49 -

that is not boring at all. You sound a very resourceful lady. I will get my thinking cap on ... and get back to you. His reasons are understandable aren't they, poor thing.

Speedy

you ought to see the stuff we take with us on holiday, one laptop, plus my internet phone, dvd's d toys, DW at the moment, or he may want to take thomas this year, oh the joys
of having a very specail son

ninakang · 11. Jun 2010, 15:14

TWO WEKEKS?! Where did the year go (again)?!!!

This is my eldest's last year in Primary school, she's going to an academy in September where they have 5 terms, all at different times to the normal terms (which her sisters will be doing) and shorter holidays. I still can't decide if that's a good thing or not!

Nx

dreamdaisy · 11. Jun 2010, 15:29

Nina, I suspect you live in England. only49 doesn't, they have a different system.

tkachev you are so right. Those very special ones, those who cannot interpret or understand our mad world, do need a special place, and in this enlightened age you would think that people would realise that this is so. People only understand when it happens to them - that is one of the great failings of the human race. If you do not know it, if it hasn't happened in your family, it doesn't exist. It makes me so cross. DD

only49 · 11. Jun 2010, 16:12

oh yes they do have a differnt way of doing things especially where i live it so anoying living here, when ever you get a vistor being from
the social services, or who ever never on time, there all bad time keepers here, down south where i lived if you were late in a factory you had to say why you were late, no bad time keeping down there.

dreamdaisy · 11. Jun 2010, 18:02

Geography might have something to do with that only49! You are in a pretty remote part of the world, reliant on tides and good weather etc. DD

only49 · 12. Jun 2010, 03:33

dreamdaisy wrote:

Geography might have something to do with that only49! You are in a pretty remote part of the world, reliant on tides and good weather etc. DD

if you want to find out more what its like go yo my profile any clink on a web link i added

speedalong · 12. Jun 2010, 07:10

Hi Joyful,

When I was at college we did nothing about dyslexia ... but special needs have always interested me. My friend then started dating a lovely chap with dyslexia and we saw a meeting about it at the local hospital medical school. We went along and it was a lecture/meeting open to the public. It was run by a society that supported those with dyslexia. We had hoped we'd learn more about it - and most importantly how to support children with this difficulty to learn better and how it impacted on my friend's chap. Well - we were the only teachers in a room of VERY angry parents ... all describing how their poor children had suffered and were failing at school. We had to keep very quiet and daren't ask questions - we would have been lynched!!!! We managed to get a few leaflets ... but these were mainly detailing what services the society offered.

Luckily things are improving now ... though far from perfect. There are more courses for teachers and a lot more resources out there on the net and more books etc.

How is your son these days?

Speedy

speedalong · 12. Jun 2010, 13:11

Hi Only49, I have been thinking about the whole going away thing ... the picture chart you do sounds great - but either he doesn't understand it or he doesn't trust it? Any idea which one of these apply?

My only suggestion is going to take some major effort ... but since his anxiety SO takes over your hols - I think it has got to be worth it!

In the lead up to me going into hospital - we had reheasals ... ie S was used to one night away from me ... so we started to increase it .... oh so gradually, along with the usual social story books, schedules, photos etc that you and I are so used to producing...

So I'm sure are full of ideas of how to do this to suit your fella. If it was S, I would arrange for us (all if poss) or if not you and he - to sleep one night at a friends house - complete with picture chart of being away for one night and then returning home again ... do you make them with velcro and stuff or does he cross of the days ... how do you style them for him? So he can relate the chart to the experience. As generalising is going to be an issue for him - you will need to repeat the experience a few times .. preferably at different venues and for different lengths of time. Ideally if you had friends going away they might let you stay in their house ... and then it would be more like going to stay in a holiday home ...

This is no quick fix - but it would be something to do in the hols - and hopefully would make the actual holiday more enjoyable.

Another idea that you have probably thought of already is to try and keep the plan of each day on the holiday the same ... not the places you go to - but the structure of each day .. don't be too ambitious and make sure he gets enough "down time" wont hurt you and arther either. S gets much tireder when "off his patch."

If this is way off mark or not good - do say - and I'll keep on thinking ....

Feel free to pm me.

Speedy

school summer holidays loomimg

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