Funny Puns

joanlawson

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from the algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head'

I wondered why the Football kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet''

Is a chicken crossing the road poultry in motion?.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere and developed callouses over his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail, while his odd diet gave him bad breath - he was indeed a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. Apparently the crews were marooned.

trisher

This is an observation

Why is it your nose runs but your feet smell :shock:


Trish :oops:

frogmorton

VEry good guys

Hope you are not trying to upstage Ron?

:shock: :shock:

joanlawson

OOh no, Toni. No-one could upstage Ron :!: