Fed up of feeling like poo

jenzie06
jenzie06 Member Posts: 708
edited 30. Jul 2010, 17:43 in Living with Arthritis archive
I'm fed up of being in pain and struggling, for not being able to look after Harry as much as I want to, for having to spend every afternoon in bed and missing out. I had to sit and watch my Mum do the baby massage class with him today rather than participate myself.
I'm really fed up of saying that I'm in pain when people ask how I am (the people who actually want to know rather than the people being polite). To be honest I'm getting bored with it, no idea what they think.

Still no appt is forthcoming. I spoke to the rheumy nurse who told me to hang in there and I'll be seen as soon as possible but they have a backlog.
Just to add insult to injury I'm off to my ESA tribunal on the 10th to sit and be told that I'm lying, which is what the doc basically said in the medical report.

Really sorry for the winge.

Comments

  • psyart
    psyart Member Posts: 600
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi - you can winge as much as you like on here! sorry you are finding it so hard - especially not being able to do baby massage - I hope you will be able to do it soon and enjoy it. The trouble with 'arthur' is everything seems to take time to get sorted - from getting to the hospital and then the treatment!

    (((((hugs))))) to help you on your way and hoping you sort things out soon.

    louise xxx
  • marion1952
    marion1952 Member Posts: 963
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Jenzie - so sorry you're feeling despondent about things at the moment. You're doing so well coping with Harry - new babies are absolutely exhausting. I wish that appointment would come through quickly for you.

    Marion x
  • Wonkylegs
    Wonkylegs Member Posts: 3,504
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI Jenzie,

    so sorry to hear you are feeling so low and in pain.

    No wonder you are frustrated .... you need help now but are having to wait ..... and that must be so much more frustrating for you when you want to do those special 'mum' things with Harry.

    have you thought of ringing the AC helpline for advice & help re the appointment situation? I am sure you will not be the first who has had this problem. (phone number at the top of this page)

    sending you hugs ((((())))) & hoping that your appointment comes through soon.

    wonky xxx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jen

    Oh poor you, but you know you would be doing it if you could and at least you got your mum to help out, she is the next best thing. Youre doing as much as your body allows you to do and no more....not your fault...

    Re the ESA, go in there with your head held high and if anyone so much as insinuates that you are lying tell them what its like, look them straight in the eye and make them feel like the lowlife they are......You are entitled and even though we dont know each other personally will be waking up on 10th and willing you on in spirit.

    Hope tomorrow you feel slightly better...

    Elaine
    jenzie06 wrote:
    I'm fed up of being in pain and struggling, for not being able to look after Harry as much as I want to, for having to spend every afternoon in bed and missing out. I had to sit and watch my Mum do the baby massage class with him today rather than participate myself.
    I'm really fed up of saying that I'm in pain when people ask how I am (the people who actually want to know rather than the people being polite). To be honest I'm getting bored with it, no idea what they think.

    Still no appt is forthcoming. I spoke to the rheumy nurse who told me to hang in there and I'll be seen as soon as possible but they have a backlog.
    Just to add insult to injury I'm off to my ESA tribunal on the 10th to sit and be told that I'm lying, which is what the doc basically said in the medical report.

    Really sorry for the winge.
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling poorly and down. You can't help it if you're not well. I'm sure your baby knows how much you love him.

    I'm an OA sufferer and don't know too much about RA. Have they done blood tests/x rays etc???? If they haven't make sure you ask to have them done. It sounds as if you've lost confidence in your GP - ask for an appointment with a different doctor.

    Good luck with your ESA too.

    With regards
    Sharmaine
    X
  • suzster
    suzster Member Posts: 1,328
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    i can't help but i can understand.
    my RA came along just a few weeks after having my daughter and i struggled every day to care for her.
    i was tired and in pain and just holding her was almost impossible. no one understood.
    i felt guilty, sad, angry and so many other emotions and feelings.
    i know it sound daft but hang in there, except help if you need it.
    it does get better, i promise!!
    in the mean time we are all here to listen to anything you need to let out, lol, sorry, sounds odd
    take care.
    sue
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,279
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jen
    I am so sorry you are suffering, I wish I could help,can you not pester them for an earlier appointment, It is good that you have your mum there to help, but I understand what you mean, you want to do it, just except the help for now till you get through this bad patch, then when things improve, and they will , you can really enjoy doing all the mummy things.
    I wish you luck with the medical (sorry forgot the name ) :oops: sending you lots of healing hugs ((((((((())))))
    and we are always here for you.
    Love
    Barbara xx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well youre not lying so keep on putting your difficulties across at ESA or for appointment.Sometimes I think they think if you managed a pregnancy/ birth then you must be okay, you can imagine them thinking how much they ached after having a baby, its natural, youll get over it. It is soul destroying when they make such assumptions.

    I suffered after my last 2 babies and i was in awful pain. I could barely roll over to feed her and only managed to bath her if someone was with me as I was in danger of dropping her.She slept with me(I hardly slept because of constan pain).I didnt have a highchair because I couldnt get her in or out or do straps on any seating, inc her pushchair. I felt a real waste of space. Once I needed a cuppa I had to lay her on the sofa for the long,painful slog to the kettle and my young son threw her on the floor!Others would have been able to put her somewhere secure .
    Damn pain. You take care, and be strong.
    Elizabeth
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,211
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jen

    Glad you have the esa tribunal while yo are poorly so they can jolly well see for themselves eh? :x

    Please dont feel bad about little Harry - he knows you are his Mum and that you love him - he knew your voice even in the womb. You being there even if yo are only watching is still participating Jen.

    Let them all help you while you wait for some medication - I am fuming you are having to wait so long :(

    Lots of love and hugs

    Toni xx
  • pols090607
    pols090607 Bots Posts: 126
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hiya jenzie,

    ((((hugs)))) - it's so horrible when you feel like other people are doing things that you should be doing yourself.

    i am a mum of two litte girls (6&2) - last week my eldest was sick in the night and i couldn't see to her, my husband had to and i just cried as i felt bloody useless.

    all i can say really is enjoy time with your son, even if it's just him lying on the bed next to you. he will know your sound and smell. it will get better, even though it doesn't feel it now.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Pols, its awful isnt it? You so want to comfort them but its too difficult,
    Jenzie, your son wont hold it against you. They adapt really quickly and you wont miss out on loving him.

    Elizabeth
  • jenzie06
    jenzie06 Member Posts: 708
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for the replies everyone.

    Harry made me feel wonderful today as he giggled at me for the first time. He's not done it to anyone else - how special can one little boy make you feel!

    It made up for the hour of inconsolable crying he did yesterday which is totally out of character for him but then again he did have his jabs. Bless him.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,211
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ah Jen :D

    see that little boy LOVES his Mummy :)

    Nasty naughty jabs....grrr!!!

    You enjoy those wonderful moments - you will get treatment soon.

    Love

    Toni xx
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,515
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jen...... sorry to hear how difficult it is just now...hopefully your appointment will come through soon. :wink:

    sounds as though Harry knew exactly what to do..with his lovely unexpected giggle.. to remind you that you are the most special person in his life. You might not be able to do all the physical things for him just now Jen..but you sure can love him and that's what counts....and he knows it.


    love n (((hugs)))

    Iris xxx
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, I'm so sorry you feel so awful at the moment. It must be hard to let others do the things you want to with your baby, but you're the one that got the giggle!

    I hope your appeal goes better than you think. My medical was followed by forms that had things written on that were untrue or not asked. So I'm waiting for an appeal too and know how stressful that can make you feel. Maybe when thats over, you'll feel better, as you will be able to relax more.

    Lots of love Sue
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi jenzie Im sorry u are low and in pain missing things with the kids i can understand. I had no one to help me in those early years and struggled. Im glad you have got some one to take your child out. I know it certainly is not the same and you wish you could do it. Its so difficult and waiting with the esa over your head is the last thing u need.
    Rest now and maybe u might be able to take baby out next week stay positive. I say to my self i did the best i could with my son and i never dwell on the early struggles. I have difficulty remembering them and he has grown into a lovely caring lad. My little shadow. You are a good mom dont ever forget it. I hope u can get a good nights sleep and will feel better tomorrow sending you my support x joanne