support dried up.

Options
ailsarobby
ailsarobby Member Posts: 63
edited 1. Sep 2010, 11:22 in Living with Arthritis archive
good morning lovely people.....just letting you know I will not be on line for a while.....things have took a nasty turn and my partner n I ARE SPLITTING UP...It appears the support he was giving me is all a show and told me he could not handle my illness and Im not contributing enough with the finacial side of things.....Ive got a carvan near lytham St Annes..so going to stay there....the down side is that I have no furniture,fridge,heating,or any means of cooking anything..well till I get some more financial help..being on sick is a bummer....I am just so angry that this firkin disease has ruined my whole life...this time last year I had great job with prospects,,was financially stable..and felt happy and contented with my lot...now I have nothing..bar a gut full of drugs, bendy fingers,and constant pain....RA is so so so cruel........you guys have been a great source of support and I hope to be in contact soon...I will be visiting my daughter weekly so will have use of her p.c.....Ailsaxx :(:(:(:cry::cry:

Comments

  • angie1973
    angie1973 Member Posts: 248
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Alisa,

    Sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I hope that you are able to get help sorted quickly, so that you have somewhere to go.

    Don't suffer in silence, ask for help.

    Sending you hugs
    Ange
    _______________________

    Only 99.9% possessed by the giggle monster.........the other 0.01 % just eats chocolate..
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    ailsarobby, I am so, so sorry. What a wimp. What a pathetic, feeble, weak and self-centred example of the male gender. Arthritis does bring great strain to every relationship, and not all can stand the extra pressure. You will turn things around, of that I have no doubt. You are a strong, resilient woman, with good reserves of inner steel. You won't be feeling any of that at the moment, but you will turn things around.

    You can get to us from any computer - local library, interweb cafe, whatever. Remember we are here, and we will offer whatever support we can. I have sent you a PM too. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • agslegs
    agslegs Member Posts: 28
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I'm so sorry. Life can be just crap at times. I hope you have some family and friends who can give you some support during this difficult time and I look forward to hearing from you when you manage to get back on line.

    I know this is easier said than done but please do not dwell on things too much when you are in your caravan. It is so easy to get tunnel vision and get really down.

    Take Care of yourself

    Ags
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi

    You must be devastated by this turn of events. This man has not stood by you at all. Love is supposed to cover things like health issues too.

    I hope that you don't have to spend the winter months in a caravan with your condition. Have you been to see the council? I wouldn't tell them you had a caravan though.

    There are organisations on ine that will help you with furniture etc.
    Is your ex partner letter you out without any financial support whatsoever?? What type of person does this? Do you belong to a church? Your local vicar may be able to help too.

    Thinking of you and I hope you get some help soon.
    Sharmaine
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi

    I was so sorry to read your post and wish you all the luck in the world to get you sorted as qiuckly as possible.

    Can't say much more except that I feel so angry with your OH.

    You take care
    Thinking of you
    love juliepf xxx
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh ailsa!

    I'm so sorry to read what's hapenning to you just now. :(

    please phone the helpline peeps for advice... there may be help you can get with housing other than moving into a caravan which can only be a short term solution. the helpline will put you in touch with housing support organisations in your area.

    why did he not move out? probably a silly question but at the very least you deserved to have time to make plans and get the support you need... after all he is able bodied :roll:

    keep in touch ailsa... will be thinking about you.

    Iris x
  • rachelj
    rachelj Member Posts: 121
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi Alisa,

    I can imagine how tough it has been for you, my OH is not adjusting well at all to the changes we have to make with me having RA. wish I had some great words of wisdom, try and find some strength in knowing you know where you stand, and some relief you no longer have to worry about someone else's thoughts on everything. You just have to keep fighting and don't give up, Never let someone else put you down!

    As the others have said, call the helpline, they may be able to sort you out some more suitable temporary accommodation than a caravan, and then finding you a permanent home.

    Sending you hugs
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    hi he does not get off that easy it not your fault what happened to in sickness and health go to cab see what help you can get hugs will miss you hope things better soon at least you have nice spot to go to val
    val
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I am really to hear this Ailsa. I am going through relationship troubles too but deep down I think we care enough to make it work.I think a caravan is not the best solution with this illness. is the house in his name only? You need to sort these important issues so you can get on with your life the best you can,

    Hope you will stay with us on the forum,

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh Ailsa, what a nightmare, you poor thing. You have lot to contend with at the moment.

    Thinking of you,

    Speedy
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • carola
    carola Member Posts: 786
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Ailsa

    I am so sorry to hear about this. As with the end of any relationship, do not be afraid to grieve, cry when you want to etc. but remember that you need to focus on yourself and getting yourself better and better.

    Focus on getting the practical stuff sorted out re home, furniture etc and look into what benefits you can apply for to ease your fnancial stress just now. Remember, the DWP do not automatically tell you all the different things you are entitled to - you need to ask and ask and ask.

    If you feel panic setting in, just remember to take a deep breath. You have been dealth a terrible deck of cards recently therefore I am convinced something wonderful is just around the corner for you. Meantime, you just need to deal with this cr*p until the good times come a rollin' .

    Thinking of you.
    Carol
  • ailsarobby
    ailsarobby Member Posts: 63
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    thank you all for your kind words of support...I have had lots of help from my family..the housec unfornunatly is in my partners name...the caravan is very comfy maybe just a tad cold..it will not be for long term i have put my name down with the local housing department..i am near to my family and they have been very supportive....my partner and i are still on speaking terms but i have decided to live apart from him ..cant be arsed with the stress and knowing how he feels about my illness and financial situation will still put a strain on the relationship...i would rather be on my own as i have alwats been depentent on no-one....ive actually been feeling better aswell so thats a good thing atleast..no OH to take care of..lol....thank you all again for your thoughfull words...i will keep intouch when possible and let you all know how i get on with my appointment next monday with the rheumy....god bless you all.....Ailsa :D
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I sympathise Ailsa. Lets hope you get better and maybe back to a better life.

    Take care
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,477
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi Ailsa

    I am so sorry that I missed all this happening for you :(

    You are a brave woman and you will get through this - as you say - you fel better already.

    Downside is the accomodatiuon issue which may be resolved soon I hope. You would count as vulnerable I guess with the RA.

    The other downside is not getting online to chat to us lot :( I hope that gets sorted once the accomodation is.

    Thanks goodness you have a good family.

    I look forward to hearing how you get on at the rheumy's.

    Love and very best wishes

    Toni xx
  • chris7
    chris7 Bots Posts: 2,696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi ailsarobby

    I have only just seeing this thread. So sorry this has been such a difficult time for you. I just wanted to acknowledge your post, send a hug or two (((( )))) and wish for better days for you in the future.
    take care of yourself and post when you can.
    Chris
  • ironic
    ironic Member Posts: 2,361
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi Ailsa,
    Good to hear from you. I have been a tad worried about you stuck in the caravan.
    Strange how things work out and you feel less pressured now the break has happened.
    Good that you are talking as you will be able to get your belongings back without having to much trouble.
    Really glad you have your family around you. Hope you are given a lovely new place to settle in.
    If you can please let us know how things go on Monday with your appointment.
    take care,

    Lv, Ix
  • carola
    carola Member Posts: 786
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Ailsa

    Good to read your updated post and that you are a bit better.

    'Atta Girl .... stress really does worsen our symptoms and I just know that as you take more and more control of your life and all the practical things you are needing to sort out, your health will steadily improve. Things DO happen for a reason ESPECIALLY the awful things and time will prove this.

    Have a cry when you want to but remember to keep smiling when you wipe those tears away as you will soon be feeling back on top of the world :lol:
    Carol
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi ailsarobby, I hope you are OK after your appointment on Monday. I've been thinking of you and I am glad to hear that you are settled, close to family and still able to talk to each other. In some ways it might be a good thing, for a while, to lose the stress of the lack of support: you are back in charge of you, and for you! Take care and keep as well as you can. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi Ailsa
    I am so sorry I missed your post, from now on you do what best for you, Its great that you have such support from your family, St Annes, we go there often, I hope you can get somewhere there from the housing.
    You take care of yourself, and you know where we are when you need us.
    Please keep talking to your partner, I know what he did was awful, but men dont seem to be able to handle illness very well.
    Hopefully your life will change for the better.
    Love and hugs ((((((())))))
    Barbara xx
    Love
    Barbara
Back to top

Categories