Funny signs

joanlawson
joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
edited 28. Aug 2010, 09:09 in Community Chit-chat archive
Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Joan
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Comments

  • robertls
    robertls Member Posts: 2,580
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Funniest one I ever saw......

    Driving up west coastline of Lake Michigan....

    In the middle of nowhere..........A sign pointing to the right ..."Cemetary"

    As we went by I glanced up the road......another sign....."Dead End"....

    I'm sure is wasn't meant to be a joke............But oh!!!!!! I did chuckle..

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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Very funny, Rob :D I think that is one road I don't want to travel down just yet :!: :lol:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    A few more:

    AT A ZOO

    Please be safe. Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick. Thank you.

    AT A CAR PARK

    DO NOT PARK HERE
    Or........

    * The Wrath of the ancients will fall upon your head
    * Rabid squirrels will invade your home
    * Your vehicle will start making that expensive knocking sound again
    * Caution advised!

    UNNECESSARY NOTICE

    NOTICE
    Thank you for noticing this new notice.
    Your noticing it has been noted and will be reported to the authorities.

    On a plumber's truck
    'We repair what your husband fixed.'

    On another plumber's truck:
    'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

    In a restaurant window:
    'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'

    NOTICE IN A HOTEL BEDROOM IN TOKYO

    1. Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notice.

    2. Please to bathe inside the tub.

    3. Please leave your values at the front desk.

    4. You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

    5. Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Del. Very funny :!: :lol::lol:

    . We take your bags and send them in all direction.

    This one should be up in every airport, I think :!: :shock:
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  • katekelly
    katekelly Member Posts: 975
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Has anyone driven on the motorway in Ireland? If you leave the m/way (the one from Belfast going south) as you leave on the slip road by Dublin airport, onthe back of the sign giving you directions, there is a notice saying "If you can read this you are going the wrong way"!!!!!!
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,727
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Joan

    Where do you get these from???

    Trish xxx
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    trisher wrote:
    Joan

    Where do you get these from???

    Trish xxx

    From the far-flung regions of the internet, Trisher, where Del is often lurking as well :!: :lol:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    katekelly wrote:
    Has anyone driven on the motorway in Ireland? If you leave the m/way (the one from Belfast going south) as you leave on the slip road by Dublin airport, onthe back of the sign giving you directions, there is a notice saying "If you can read this you are going the wrong way"!!!!!!

    Only the Irish :!: :lol:

    Although a strange notice went up at the end of my road recently. We have a couple of shops nearby, which are clearly visible for all to see, but some workmen appeared one day and put up a signpost which says 'Local Shops.' Why :?:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    delboy wrote:
    Always been a bit of a lurker me. 8)

    You've done it again :!: :lol::lol:
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  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh please....I have just put my contact lenses in. Now they are all misty with the tears oflaughter,

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    delboy wrote:
    Oops! I'll go and change immediately.


    Notice in café: All the water in this establishment has been passed by the management.

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