devestating illness

nordman Member Posts: 6
edited 27. Aug 2010, 10:17 in Community Chit-chat archive
Hi, my name is bobby. I have been diagnosed fibromyalgia and suffer severe stress, pain and burning in my muscles, joints, bones, and I live with extreme fatigue and weakness. I have chronic headaches, and I have severe aching and stabbing pains throughout my stomach. I also have a great deal of depression and anxiety and loss in response to the limits the illness imposes on me. The pain, it never goes away. When does it end? Night and day, never ending, It take me down.
I used to have friends but now, it seems like I have said “Well, I don’t feel good today, so I am going to have to stay at home” one time to many. Everyone assumes I am “sick“ so they never call anymore. I feel so alone, and at the same time I don’t want anyone around me. People used to respect me, and now, how can anyone respect what I have become? Weak, in pain night and day, tired all of the time, and not enough energy to do anything. Who could respect and love anything like that?

I am afraid of being alone, being forgotten, being unloved and unwanted, and I am terrified that I will never be needed again, for anything. Work? That is almost funny. am lost my ability to bring home the food, the act of contributing to anything anymore. I just can’t do much of anything that requires endurance. I know someone did this to me. They had to. I don’t deserve to live like this.