Warnings about the consumption of alcohol

joanlawson
joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
edited 1. Sep 2010, 10:59 in Community Chit-chat archive
Hi

This one's for anyone who might be consuming alcohol in the near future. ( Are you reading it Rehab :?:)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may maek you tink you kan tpye reel Gooooode.

THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK
:!: :!:

Joan :D
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Comments

  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    loving it great well done
    val
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    delboy wrote:
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are the world champion cage fighter.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol make make you think Casanova was an ugly dwarf compared to you.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause wet feet, it's not as long as you think.

    I thought you might be lurking somewhere again, Del :!: :lol::lol:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00

    I have suspected for years that alcohol gives males female traits. I have observed on many occasions that after a man has too much to drink he will talk to much, think he knows everything, gets loud and bossy , and can't drive worth a ****.


    Still trying to think of something clever and witty in response to that, but I've got a hangover, so my brain won't get into gear yet :!: :shock:

    Time I took my own advice :?:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 10,319
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bcham

    Yes, you are right, I have never been drunk in my life. I can get a hangover from only a very few drinks , so don't usually drink very much at all. I went to a party last night, and the drinks were flowing, so I knew I would pay the price today, even though I only had a few glasses of wine. I'm OK now though :D
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  • ninakang
    ninakang Member Posts: 2,056
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I don't understand why you're warning us against drinking alcohol with these reasons? They sound like good reasons to get pished to me :D

    I have been drunk too many times to remember but rarely get hangovers because I can't actually drink that much for it still to be in my system the next day... I'm a cheap date :D

    Nx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,667
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Joan

    I loved them all and Del's too (Rehab's ??? :wink: )

    I hope you get over youyr hangover very very soon - likely early bed tonight and all better tomorrow

    My sympathy is all yours

    Love

    toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,558
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead to fun. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben