dealing with the future

nearlybionic

Morning
I have put on my cape and made some calls to docs and surgeons secretary.
My GP is sorting my `Fit Note` and may ring me later for an update. I would like to speak to her about my mood which is low and I can`t snap out of it.
I rang the secretary who will copy me in for the clinic letter, and will speak to my surgeon tomorrow as he is in theatre today. I asked to her clarify the advice about hip restrictions `for life` given in clinic last week. The good thing is this secretary was the sec for my previous surgeon who did the THR and therefore knows that the advice is differing.
Well, not much else i can do til tomorrow so will hang up my cape til then. Unless anyone has a need to borrow it ?
Gentle (((((((hugs))))))) to all that need them x
NB

speedalong

Hi NB, sounds like you have had a productive morning - well done. Your cape sounds great - I think I need one too. You sound as if you are taking control and getting back into the driving seat. I hope your GP and the secretary get back to you asap.

Speedy

dreamdaisy

Of course your mood is low - you had one helluva shock with the dislocation and now everything else on top of that. 'Snap out of it' is the stupid advice given by those who have nothing to worry about - you, like the rest of us, have a deal to manage. Once you are feeling more settled in yourself, once you feel a little more in control then, perhaps, the mood will dissipate, but by bit. Be kind to yourself, nearlybionic, things will pick up in time, I am sure of that. Take care. DD

frogmorton

Hi NB

Dd is right - no-one can snap out of their mood. It is how you feel and hopefully in time you willl feel perkier.

Will be interested in the fit note and what is says when you get it.

I ahve a cloak of invisibility you can borrow if I can borrow your cloak sometimes??

Love

Toni xx

woodbon

Hi, SAying to someone who is depressed for whatever reason to 'snap out of it' is a horriible selfish thing to say, its like saying Oh I can't be bothered with all that. You've had a rough time and its going to be a while before you feel better and get your confidnece back. I hate people who say they kniow someone who had what you had and they were fine after a couple of weeks. Theirs always someone though! :?

Have plenty of rest and take lots of care. Thats the best thing for you. Take each day as it comes and don't expect to feel fine every day or get down if a good day is followed be a bad one.

Lots of love, Sue

hileena111

Hi NB,
You sound a bit better than you did yesterday.....I think when you ctually try to do something it does help.
As for snap out of it....well there are so many ignorant people about...not much we can do about them except educate them or ignore them

Love
Hileena

nearlybionic

Hi
Was it that obvious that someone had expected me to and told me to `snap out of it`. I think its the usual , if you can`t see whats wrong, theres nothing wrong old chestnut. If I had a plaster cast on, I might get more understanding.
I`m off to a school meeting with hubby soon. Need to take plenty of cushions to boost my seat height etc.. Bit worried about being in a busy place, but hubby not good at remembering stuff and would forget half of what was said! And I could do with a change of view. These 4 wall are getting boring now! :roll:
NB

caravancollie

Hi well done with the problem solving approach. I like the cape- is it a nursing one or a super hero one? Think you're entitled to both coping with life at present. The invisible one would be useful when you want some switch off or reflecting time. I'm sending you a cuddly cape, like a baby shawl because we all need a bit of comfort at times and a bit of protection against the environments of life and work. Take care
elaine x

marion1952

Hello NB

Just wondering how you got on at your meeting?

Marion

nearlybionic

Hi
Elaine I have so many capes now I don`t know which one to wear first!! I like the idea of the invisibility one to play tricks on people that I would like to get my own back on (he he)
Marion,
I sat for about 5 mins on 2 cushions, but felt really uncomfortable and sore. I got panicky it was going to `pop` out again so stood for rest of meeting. Much better, but it was a long meeting!
Back home in comfy raised chair, painkillers taken and ready for my tea.
Think I`ll wear my cuddly cape later when tired
NB

geo501

Hi NB
Telling someone who is feeling depressed to "snap out of it" is like telling an arthritic not to feel pain, they would if they could but they can't. You deal with it the best way you can, if that makes any sense( not something I'm noted for)

Geo

nearlybionic

Thanks Geo
It made perfect sense.
NB

chris7

Hi NB

Hope you have got the sleepy cape on now and are having a restful night. Good to see you, I'm lovin the assorted capes idea for every situation. I hope tomorrow sends you a little more courage, confidence and healing.
take care
Chris

hileena111

Hi NB...hope you had a good night and slept well

Love
Hileena

nearlybionic

Hi
Well so much for dealing with the future! :roll: I have waited all day for a phone call.........but ........nothing. Grrrrr. So I am still waiting to hear if I really have to adhere to hip restrictions forever. I know people are busy, but if you say your going to ring, please ring!
Then I have had a long phone call from my Mum, who has made me feel like I am a malingerer. she has been talking to an elderly lady who must be wonder woman , as she can kneel, sit on floor etc... all the things I have been advised against. then she asked when I was going back to work ,and what work thought about me being off again :x .
I have had a lot of pain today, and am rattling with painkillers, so probably wasn`t as tolerant as I could be. I was an incy bit short with her and said I needed to go.
Ok rant over.
I will wait til lunch time tomorrow for call from hospital ,and if I haven`t heard i will ring them.

Hope you are all ok xx
NB

ironic

Hi NB,

Yes good idea to ring again. Sometimes things get lost and a quick jog is what is needed.

Your mum sounds like my mother in law, strange how we never meet these "wonder" women only hear about them. Dont start feeling guilty, stress is the last thing you need right now.


Lv, Ix

caravancollie

Hi
Lots of frustrations for you today then. Oh dear. You would think our NHS colleagues would understand the impact of a failure to phone with imortant information but sometimes it feels like out of sight is out of mind. Tha reality is that the consultant has been unavailable. You can always rely on mums though to carry on a long conversation when they have irritated you on the first sentence! She is probably worried about you and seeking reassurance from anyone that you will be fine, after all what a sprightly elderly lady can do then you will be able to do too.
There's not s lot we can do about mothers - mine is gulity of similar statements, but you can ring the hospital first thing and if they don't give you answer by lunch time ring them again. it's important, you have the right to an answer. You would be proactive for a client so why not for you . Look after yourself Elaine x

nearlybionic

Hi
I have spoken to the secretary today, who has said the surgeon is adamant about me keeping the restrictions. He is putting it in writing for me. However, I told her I was seeing my other surgeon about my other hip soon and she will speak to him about my concerns about the restrictions.
So I will wait to hear more and wait for the letter.
I`m getting good at this waiting :roll:
NB

speedalong

Hi NB, you are having a very frustrating time.

Your Mum sounds a typical mum, and I think Elaine is right in her comments about the whole thing.

The hip restrictions thing is very frustrating. I think your consultant is "watching his back" and erring on the side of caution - it is easy for him to say carry on the restrictions forever, but he hasn't got to follow them. However, for the time being and especially whilst you are so sore and the soft tissues are all recovering it is worth sticking with them. Hopefully the two consultants can work out some sort of compromise between them. When you are less sore, you definitely need a physio referral - as it is possible to kneel for example without breaking hip restrictions and it would be a good starting point...

Speedy

hileena111

Hi NB,
How fruistrating for you......and these restrictions are dreadful.
Hopefully the 2 surgeons can sort something out between them thatseems a bit more reasonable

Love
Hileena

marion1952

Hi NB

I hope the two surgeons can clarify things properly for you.,

In the meantime, be kind to yourself - you've had a helluva shock with the dislocation - physically and emotionally. It's absolutely natural for someone to be anxious/nervous/stressed given what's happened ..

Marion xx

salamander

hi NB, maybe I've missed something here but who told you to snap out of it?

As for your mum - I've got a theory about my own family and it is that they don't want to think of me being ill so they project all that 'wellness' on me and refuse to see how I am struggling. They can then tell themselves that I'm ok really. Maybe your mother thinks that if you go back to work that you are al right. Just a theory....

nearlybionic

Hi Salamander
Someone in my family, (not immediate family) said the snap out of it comment. I`m not bothered now, I was feeling a bit sensitive when it was said.
My Mum is as Elaine said; starts a conversation, does not realise how what she is saying is affectingme/upsetting me, and just carries on regardless. I would love to go back to work, and going stir crazy at home. i like to feel uselful, as I`m sure we all do. But I am signed off by GP so..... My mum doesn`t mean anything by it, I know that but sometimes it gets a bit much. Its as though if she tells me all about how well someone else is doing it will rub off on me and I can say "me too!"
On a positive I slept all night last night without needing to wake for painkillers! Taken some this morning, but hopefully won`t feel too groggy from lack of sleep today.
Hope you are all feeling ok today x
NB

dreamdaisy

Mums do that. I think it's because, like other family members, they can't fix what is going on, they can't make one better, so they go into a sort of 'denial' about it all. The natural instinct of a mother is to nurture and protect and kiss things better. They can't kiss arthritis better. Neither do they understand what it is like to live with, 24/7. Mine is stubbornly refusing to use a stick around the house, because, as she puts it 'I'm not THAT bad yet.' She is wobbly on her feet but does not have arthritis. I think a stick is sensible for the balance and stability but she is 87 and knows better. Good for her! She hates me using my crutches as it 'looks bad.' Really? If I fall over are you going to be able to pick me up or will we both end up in an undignified heap?

skezier

Hi Nearly,

I do hope that between them the 2 consultants can come up with a bit of middle ground and the restrictions will be slightly lighter that they sound at the mo.

I really hope your doing ok in your self with all this waiting and sending you a ((( ))) and your cloak back. Keeping everything crossed for you that they will sort something out between them that's ok with you as well. Cris xx