Any funny stories to tell?

maggiemay

To Cheer everybody up, have you any funny stories to tell? that can be printable haha.

The funniest and most embarrasing thing that happened to me was, When I was still married, my Hubby and I went down to the graveyard to tend the in-Laws grave.
I sat down on the ground beside the grave and started to take out the wee weeds and I started to get Itchy after about 5 mins, it got that bad I had to stand up and give myself a good scratch, I looked down and there was a lovely ANTS nest that I hadnt noticed, I had to go behind a big Yew tree quickly take of my trousers and Knickers give them a good shake, as well as my Bootie, that is the quickest I have ever taken of my bottom half of my clothes in years, well so the Ex Hubby said.
I never went back down there again without checking where my Backside was going on the ground.

NOW THAT WAS TAKING THE SAYING ANTS IN YOUR PANTS TO THE EXTREME

Mags

barbara12

Oh Mags
I have this vision of you shaking yourself, in the nuddy, hopefully there was no body about, can you imagine that today with the mobile phones and UTUBE :shock:
Love
Barbara xx

maggiemay

Well at least the inhabitants didnt complain
Mags

ninakang

That IS funny

Most embarrassing moments? I have so many!

(1) Going to a parents evening and sitting down in a class for a couple of minutes while everyone, including the teacher, looked at me strangely. My 6 year old daughter eventually whispered to me "Mama, this isn't my class". I'd just been appointed Chair of Governors at the time!

(2) When I first started this job, I was asked to take photos of the firemen on an exercise so I took the camera and went down to them. I asked at one point "How do you work the zoom on this?" And a firemen said "I'll show you". I started saying "No, it's OK, it's working now!" Before he eventually explained, through much laughing, that the zoom wasn't working, he was getting bigger because he was walking towards me!

(3) Again in this job, I was walking downstairs while a big, burly fireman stood at the bottom waiting for me to pass. I tripped about 4 steps from the bottom and landed on top of this fireman who folded like a piece of paper! To make things even worse, as I was getting up, I managed to knee him in a very sensitive place!!! Every time I see this fireman now, he flattens himself against a wall and cups his hands over his "area". I'm going to get moderated for that now, aren't I???

I have many, many more but will let someone else have a go!

Nina X

tonesp

Found liquid running down the wheel of the car.Took it to the local garage.I sked "Liquido de frenes"(Brake fluid) The garage owner said "No Liquido de perro" Dog fluid Hoots of laughter all round

angie1973

I once went to work wearing my slippers. Doesn't sound too bad until you know they were big pink fluffy pig slippers complete with squeaking nose......oh the shame!

Then I came out of the look with my skirt tucked into my pants. No-one told me for half an hour!

I did the same thing on Christmas day in an Indian Restaurant (we fancied a change), and wondered why everyone was giggling at me.

I'm not a flasher, honest! :oops: :oops:

ninakang

See, Angie, I always tell my friends if their skirts are tucked into their knickers (after I've stopped laughing, of course!).

I dropped the girls off at my parents' house once and my sister asked me why I was wearing a pink sparkly tiara for work. I won't mind but not only had my girls not pointed out to me that I was still wearing it when we left the house, I stopped off for petrol on the way!!!

Nx

maggiemay

Keep them coming love them,
Another story well it wasnt me who got embarassed, but it concerned me.
I used to breed and show Pedigree goats, and the local newspaper was coming to do a story on myself and my daughter.
I had one girl(GOAT) who you called Belle, and she was a bit of a pickpocket,

Anyway the local press arrived and as the Journalist was asking me questions about the Herd, the Photographer was taking Photos of my daughter and the Girls, when Belle decided to pick his pocket, so smartly she went and rubbed up against him, and stole his wallet out of his back pocket, she stood with it in her mouth and as everybody looked around at her, I shouted at her she dropped his wallet, it opened up, and you can just imagine the poor chaps face when out of his open wallet fell a few Con..ms.
He didnt know where to look, But to lighten the situation I did comment, Better safe than sorry,
never saw the poor chap again.
Wonder Why???? :oops: :oops: :oops:

Regards
Mags

patriciamary

I still feel awful when I think of this.

OH abroad on business so had the girls over on a snowy winters Saturday night. Two scary movies, some food and several bottles of wine. First movie finished and went to kitchen to put some nibbles in oven. Saw three young boys/men (17 to 25 yrs) crouched down below a neighbours sitting room window with another at the end of the road appearing to be the lookout. Wanted to take my very small dog out and walk past in the hope they would run away, friends insisted I phone police. I did, said I didnt want involved but could they send someone as I thought maybe they were going to break into the house. About 10 minutes later a very young policeman turns up at my door, (they trace your phone number) I pointed out where they were from the kitchen window and off he went. 10 minutes later he comes back and tells me that the people who live there were in the sitting room. Rather tipsy Im saying "didnt they see 3 guys looking in their window" the very young policeman is stuttering and stammering and eventually states the occupants were "kissing" on the sofa. Then it dawned on me and my friends that the couple were being "very friendly" on the sitting room floor and I had called the police on them. I was so embarrassed I kept saying to the police "you didnt tell them it was me who phoned you" Over the next few weeks when I saw the couple in the supermarket I would hide because I knew if I came face to face with them I would not be able to stop laughing.

Definately not how to have a romantic evening with your loved one!
Regards
Trisha

maggiemay

Like that Trisha, But you were just being the good neighbour
It would have been worst if somebody was going to break into the house, and you did nothing.

Would love a neighbour like you
Mags

ninakang

Trish, that's SOOOOO funny!

Nx