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Done it again!

nanasuenanasue Posts: 465
edited 27. Sep 2010, 03:53 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hello everyone,
I've done it again,runaround like a headless chicken getting lunch etc. for daughter, daughter-in-law and 5 kids, they sat on the sofa looking at catalogues while the kids ran riot, didn't even make a cup of tea,daughter tidied up some of the toys before she went, woopy-do. I feel like such a mug and now this evening I feel really ill. I'll have to rest all day tomorrow which will be hard as I have things that need to be done. Yes they do know I have anaemia on top of my illness but it obviously doesn't register. Sorry to moan I know I've only got myself to blame, how can I stop myself being treated like a doormat?

Sue x


  • roses1roses1 Posts: 1,893
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue,

    Have a good rest tomorrow **** the housework take it easy.
    ((())) for you. when you get the family over DONT wait on them! if they can see you doing it they think you are ok. Ask them to do stuff for you!!

    Take care

    Rose x
  • dorcasdorcas Posts: 3,538
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi nanasue,

    If you continue to run after your family in this way.... then they will continue to let you. :!: :roll:

    Because arther is such an invidious illness family don't always register that your illness has progressed.... therefore you can't and shouldn't be doing all the things you comfortably managed at the start of having arther. The other side of that coin is that you probably haven't told them!

    If you talk to your daughter and daughter-in-law and tell them that you love to see them BUT how physically painful and draining it is having to cook for everyone etc ... I'm sure they will help.

    I was doing the same as you nanasue and instead of looking forward to family visiting I began to dread it because of the aftermath. I told my daughters how it was affecting me, because of the arthritis, and now they automatically take over kitchen duties when they visit. So we now all enjoy the visits!

    Iris xxxx
  • hileena111hileena111 Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree with everyone.....if you keep running after them they will let you. Stop doing so much and they'll soon realise and talk to them quietly and explain and you might be surprised how they will take over.

    I'm luckiy in that respect...Hubby cooks Sun lunch or any meal if people are coming...{nothing to do with arthur...he likes cooking} :? Good job...I hate it :lol: ....
    My daughter in law had an auto immune disease...sarcoidosis...and was in a wheel chair for a long time...they gave her such a high dose of steroids that the bones in her hips started crumbling. They would come to us for Sun lunch {along with unmarried daughter} and she would sit on the settee until lunch was ready then move to the table then back to the settee afterwards.Because she couldnt do anything else.
    Paul helped a lot because he knew what Anna was like and now she is much better she helps with dishes etc so to a certain extent they undersand
    As for the housework....FORGET ABOUT IT.....it'll still be there the following day :wink:
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The more you do, the more they will expect you to do. I think you will have to start drawing lines in the sand, so to speak. Make it clear that you will prepare and cook a meal (say Sunday lunch) but that they will have to wash up, put away and make you a cuppa. Any other meals or snacks required they can fend for themselves. They are used to you doing it all, only you can change that. Go gently, one little step at a time. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
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