my house has been taken over

cthornley

....by the in-laws
Don't get me wrong I love my in-laws they are lovely, helpful people with all the best intentions but husband has gone and left them here whilst he swans off to a conference (read jolly)
Since he left I feel I've got to play hostess and entertain them, we've run out of conversation a few hours ago and now they've taken over the living room...1stly with watching the golf :shock:, I hate golf with a passion....then when that finished FIL quickly flicked through the guide and declared that there was nothing to watch and switched it off. Now they are sitting down there in silence reading the paper.
I get very little time to myself these days so I was looking forward to sitting down and watching a bit of sunday night telly and pootling on my laptop finish stuff for work and chatting online but I can't really do that down there now so I've retreated to my bedroom and am now online in bed. I hate feeling run out of my own house.
I don't think I would have minded if I had been asked but hubby arranged it without asking me and I know they are coming back next weekend (again when he's not here :x ). I can't complain to him because he would run straight to tell them which I find embarrassing as it would get blamed on me, (he can't do discreteness or subtlety) and I don't want them to think I don't like them I do....just on my terms.
I also love the fact that they want to see so much of their grandson but they want to have him all day tomorrow which is great for so many reasons but it is also disruptive to the rest of the week, for some reason he always has loads of accidents when they are here and that upsets him and I have to get him back in a normal routine all on my own (which I find hard enough on good days)....
sorry this has turned into a right old moan
Am I being unreasonable to want to be consulted on these things or am I just a selfish daughter in law?

Wonkylegs

cthornley wrote:

sorry this has turned into a right old moan
Am I being unreasonable to want to be consulted on these things or am I just a selfish daughter in law?

OH Chrissie :shock: :shock:

that's not on ...... you moan away after all, who else can you moan to? we all have our own family crosses to bear, but not to be consulted, and then to be 'landed' with everything is a tad not on to say the least :roll:

You are not selfish .... otherwise you'd have been more concerned with yourself (which you weren't) than with the effect on your little one (who obviously worries you) and who obviously is affected by a change in routine ...... and of course you are the one who has to deal with this added workload on top of what you already do!

perhaps there is a need to play your hubby at his own 'game' if this happens a lot, and arrange something yourself, perhaps something involving little children and parties/food/games etc, knowing that you will not be there to supervise and leave him to it now that is really not kind of me is it :oops: :oops: :oops: but you get what I mean

sending you calming hugs (((((()))))))
Wonky

lupin15

Oh dear a sticky situation really. can't you say you have plasn for next weekend and say you are staying with friends. Blame hubby for not telling you!!!!!!

lindalegs

I don't think you're being selfish this is your home afterall they're the ones being selfish. Why retreat to your bedroom I'd go in and say "oh I wanted to watch ......" or shall we ..." I'd also explain to them about usetting your son's routine - there has to be compromise here otherwise you won't enjoy being with them at all and will resent them and your husband.

Talk to them you can be tactful and kind about things and you don't know they'll probably be very understanding.

Ask yourself would you do the same in their home.

Luv Legs

valval

i think oh thought he was being kind getting you help you should have said if you have finnished with the telly then there is something I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH. it is your house as for having them two weekends in a row no way that not on explain you have plans and feel it would be nice if they came when oh there to enjoy there visit why should you have to cope with them on your own lol

dreamdaisy

Well, they certainly are your husband's parents, they obviously don't appreciate or understand manners. Point this out to the heart consultant (I love the irony of his profession) and raise your boy differently. This is your house: stand your ground. DD

joyful164

delboy wrote:

Laxatives, they won't want to be there when they take effect. 8)

Not a good idea. who will have to do all the clearing up. She would be more of a slave than ever

joyful164

Chrissie, this is just not on.
Was he thinking he was helping you. Can you give them things to do.
You don't have to wait on them hand and foot. You will wear yourself to a frazzle.

Doesn't he trust you? The in-laws are set in their ways obviously and some oldies get very selfish as they get older.
not me mind you!!!!
As far as TV is concerned. You just get up and switch it back on, you do what you want. If they don't like it, then it will drive them up to bed. And don't get their breakfast, and is your husband giving you more housekeeping to cater for them? It must be a drain on the resources.
If I were you, if is going on a conference again, ask to go with him, then you can have a bit of fun.
the inlaws can look after things while you go away.

Bless you. do hope things get better

Joy

oneday

your husband is unbelievable isnt he. How about you arrange to be away from home and invite them over whilst he is there by himself?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tkachev

I have had this situation recently and said no I will manage alone thankyou. Told my OH that it equals more work and stress for me so rather do it all by myself. I think She (MIL) was glad actually and your in-laws may be glad too.

Elizabeth

c4thyg

This is why I'm divorcing my husband's entire family. Can't say I miss them, except maybe like a boil on the bum! :P

Loving the laxatives idea as well but I have an evil streak!

frogmorton

Oh Dear!

I think you have been tooooo kind and tooooo patient and toooo self-sacrificing

You need assertiveness training :shock:

They need to come by YOUr invitation only :roll:

Hmmmph

in laws.....

julie47

Send them for something from shop and then lock doors windows and anything else and hide.

You poor thing

JuliePF x

cthornley

thanks everybody loving some of the suggestions
they have gone for the time being,
unfortunately I would have to change the locks as they have keys
I am actually incredibly fond of them, I just don't like home invasions on my own, I feel a bit overcome and stressed by it, their 'helpfulness' is often irritatingly slightly misplaced, just little things that seem petty on their own but add up to a lot of stress.
After a lot of planning and reminders (i felt like a right bossy boots) my son had a lovely day with his grandparents and we've gone to bed with only a small tantrum :roll:
Hubby is just thoughtless and I think will continue to be that way for many years to come. i am however quite tempted to invite my family to stay and book myself into a hotel but that is probably a bit evil as my family are truly hard work of the worst kind :shock:
I do like the laxatives idea ( i too have an evil streak) but my practical side just knows that it would make more work
Ha i've decided to make the most of it and to spend a large chunk of money on hubbys credit card to make myself feel better and get over it this time
thanks all , having a moan helped and knowing i'm not just being selfish
Chrissie

valval

so glad you survived if they get bad next weekend just let us know and we will come down and evict them val