feeling guilty about birthday.

tkachev

Not meaning to distract from Cathy's little girls birthday but it was my Lucy's birthday on Saturday. Due to Lucy's hospital operations and further complications I was unable to allow her on her day trip to London zoo as arranged with her nanny.She particularly wanted to visit the butterfly paradise.
I was unable to sort a party as not sure if she would be well enough and didn't get her any presents because she was ill on Friday-the day I had set free for present buying.

She has been very good about it but I feel I have failed again. Half term is coming so I hope to rearrange everything for that week. Probably not doing a party as it costs a fortune but occassionally she has said 'when it is my party I'm inviting......' I did explain that we weren't intending to do a party this year but not sure if she believes me,
Elizabeth

skezier

Hi Elizabeth,

I am sorry to see your post cus you haven't let her down one bit! You can only do what is right with all the things going on and her health has to be taken into the plans. Maybe when she is all ok again you could have a 'Lucy is better' party? She can go see the flutterbys as well maybe?

I do know you haven't failed her and I so hope she is improving and stays good for a long time as well as you know you haven't failed anything. (((( )))) and love Cris xx

tkachev

Thankyou Cris,

It is a case of so much to do but feeling too exhausted to do it. I know you have been there many times.

I have said they only need parents love, security etc and she gets that but i promised i would go shopping today. I have looked on The internet but didn't see anything.

I might drag myself off to the shops after all.

Elizabeth

julie47

I am so sorry that lucy was too ill to celebrate her birthday, and you were unable to buy her a present.
A you have said , the school hols are coming up so you can arrange something for then perhaps.
Instead of a big party could she just invite 2 best friends for tea and have a cake too. That would be special.

Thinking of you both
JuliePF x

c4thyg

I'm so sorry things haven't gone to plan for you and Lucy. Maybe you can arrange another day to be her 'special day'. Don't beat yourself up (as you told me). She knows she is loved and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time together once you're both feeling up to it. The butterfly farm will still be there.

Sending special birthday wishes to Lucy and a load of (((hugs))) to you.
xx

barbara12

Hi Elizabeth,
No way have you let her down, having you has a mum will be worth more than any presents or parties.
I am sure you will be able to do something special very soon.
Love
Barbara xx

tkachev

c4thyg wrote:

I'm so sorry things haven't gone to plan for you and Lucy. Maybe you can arrange another day to be her 'special day'. Don't beat yourself up (as you told me). She knows she is loved and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time together once you're both feeling up to it. The butterfly farm will still be there.

Sending special birthday wishes to Lucy and a load of (((hugs))) to you.
xx

I did tell you that as i have acknowledged but as she went off to school I didnt feel well enough to go shopping.
I think I panicked as having a bad day and wanted to get so much done and have failed.
I gave myself a slap and went on the internet and did some research on bikes as that is what she wants and feel better now. I have found a few I think she may like and on internet you can find out if they are in stock, get them picked up or delivered for a fee.
Yes I will have to rearrange her trip but the weather is turning now. Nanny didn't have presents for her either as she was taking her out as her treat.

E x

tkachev

barbara12 wrote:

Hi Elizabeth,
No way have you let her down, having you has a mum will be worth more than any presents or parties.
I am sure you will be able to do something special very soon.
Love
Barbara xx

Barbara you are always so kind and always answer my posts. You always are so caring and considerate...
Much love
Elizabeth X

elnafinn

Aw, dear Elizabeth,

You have not let your Lucy down at all. I am sure she does not see it like that either, you can have your special day together some other time, it was not as if she did not have a good time on her birthday weekend, anyway. The butterflies will still be there another day, won't they? Same with her pressie, she know she will be receiving one. Lucy know how much you do for her and that you are not well yourself either. You are always there for her. Her birthday festivites are being prolonged instead of having everything all on one day.

Love
Elna x

lindalegs

Hi Elizabeth,

You haven't let Lucy down at all - children do understand better than we think.

Why don't you actually put a date down on the calendar, ring it and let her look forward to going to London Zoo then (and pray you don't have a bad day :shock: )

As for a party, why not say she can have two friends round for tea as a very special party. That way it shouldn't cost a fortune and it'll be easier for you to manage.

Hope this helps.

Luv Legs

tkachev

julie47 wrote:

I am so sorry that lucy was too ill to celebrate her birthday, and you were unable to buy her a present.
A you have said , the school hols are coming up so you can arrange something for then perhaps.
Instead of a big party could she just invite 2 best friends for tea and have a cake too. That would be special.

Thinking of you both
JuliePF x

Sorry Julie i missed out thanking you. I did see your post but gremlins with the laptop then when sorted 2 others had posted. But have come back especially to thank you.
Inviting special friends is a great idea. However I' m not sure if Lucy would like it as her brother is autistic and can get embarrassingly stressed with strangers so i dont entertain many peeps at home.
Mind you he would love a bouncy castle in the garden! And cake.

Elizabeth

tkachev

elnafinn wrote:

Aw, dear Elizabeth,

You have not let your Lucy down at all. I am sure she does not see it like that either, you can have your special day together some other time, it was not as if she did not have a good time on her birthday weekend, anyway. The butterflies will still be there another day, won't they? Same with her pressie, she know she will be receiving one. Lucy know how much you do for her and that you are not well yourself either. You are always there for her. Her birthday festivites are being prolonged instead of having everything all on one day.

Love
Elna x

That is so lovely Elna. Why didnt I think like that?
Elizabeth.

tkachev

collywobble wrote:

Hi Elizabeth


I'm sure your a lovely mum, and Lucy knows that.

She'll have something to look forward to now - not everyone gets to celebrate their birthday more than once

You take care, and hope Lucy is 100% soon.

Lynn xxx

Thankyou Lynn. I have found 2 bikes she likes now just got to arrange getting one home!
One is half the price of the other...decisions...decisions....
Elizabeth

tkachev

lindalegs wrote:

Hi Elizabeth,

You haven't let Lucy down at all - children do understand better than we think.

Why don't you actually put a date down on the calendar, ring it and let her look forward to going to London Zoo then (and pray you don't have a bad day :shock: )

As for a party, why not say she can have two friends round for tea as a very special party. That way it shouldn't cost a fortune and it'll be easier for you to manage.

Hope this helps.

Luv Legs

Thankyou Linda. She is being very good about it all bless her. I am always failing at birthdays nowadays so I just let it get me down. My son wanted his Thomas trains too and I promised to go out but felt unwell. The past few weeks have been stressful all round so it just accumulated and the word FAIL jumped out at me.
From now on I will not promise anything on a Monday as it seems to be a bad day healthwise every week.
We are having a slap up take-away pizza meal in a minute!

Elizabeth