don't know how i feel!

suzster

yesterday i bit the bullet and bought a rollator walking frame thing, i know that sarah is hardly going in the pushchair now, i take it with me when ever we go out simply because i cannot manage without it and a walking stick is not enough support.
it arrived today and sarah loves it, it has a seat on it and i think she thinks it's just for her, she sits on it saying "push me mummy!" any way, it is in my house but the thought of actually using it fills me with dread. i know i need it but all i can think about is people asking why i'm using it, after all most people are surprised to see me using a walking stick because for the last 3 years i've always had the pushchair so they think i don't need a stick any more!
i felt self conscious when i 1st used a walking stick about 7 years ago, but this walking frame is so much more to see than a stick, i guess eventually like the stick i'll get used to it but it some how feels so much worse.
without i'll be stuck indoors as i can only walk very short distances with a walking stick before the pain in most of my joints is to much.
but i guess at the age of 37 you just don't expect to be needing a walking frame.
sorry, just needed to type this, it feels like such a big step to me!
sue

barbara12

Hi Sue
I can totally understand where you are coming from, I know that it would fill me with dread, I am still really conscious of my stick, and sometimes 2 sticks.
I think it is getting over the first few times you use it,put some headphone on and listen to some of your favorite music, I am sure you will be so glad of the help it gives you.
Go somewhere nice, like the park for the first time, and I am sure your little girl will have some fun with it has well.
Get some coloured tape and jazz it up, I have that on my sticks.
Love and hugs ((((())))
Barbara xx

minky67

Hi Sue, It does take some getting used to having to use these aids.
Im still a bit self concious about the crutches i use & i have been asked to consider a wheelchair by social services as like you i can only manage short distances & rely on my crutches outside.
Im taking my time making up my mind about the wheelchair as i did with the crutches & other aids ive now got.

Im sure once youve taken that first step out with it you'll enjoy your freedom & not care about using it.
I hope so & forget about other people, they WILL ask as they do with me.
I do so hope you find it a help, it will be easier once your got out there & used it. Not easy them first steps.
debs

nearlybionic

Hi Sue
It does take time to come to terms with changes like this. But look on it as a positive, maintaining your independence, and getting out and about. I am 41 and have a trolley/walker on wheels to use indoors and I felt mortified at first. I am using 2 crutches or sticks out side at present, and have jazzy pink sticks , so maybe customising yours may be the way to go.
I`m glad Sarah likes it!! Kids are great, and just take things in their stride, if only we could be the same!!
Take care, and I hope your hip gets sorted once and for all.
NB

ironic

Hi Sue,

A difficult one for you but surely it will be more stable for you than the pushchair? Maybe alternate between the two for a while will ease you into using it. I think Jan’s idea of jazzing it up is a good one. 8)

Lv, Ix

marion1952

Hi Sue

Sorry to read your other post about needing your hip re-doing.. I was embarassed at first when I had to use 1 and then 2 sticks adn then 2 crutches, so I kind-of know how you feel about the trolley.. but it's great that your little girl loves sitting on the seat and it will give you some more independence over the forthcoming months until you get your hip sorted out. I don't like to think about the winter weather, but it will come in handy and be safer for you when it's icy underfoot (oh - sorry for reminding you that winter is on it's way - it only seems like 2 minutes since I skidded on some ice last December and smashed my car into a brand new VW Golf!!)..

Take care

Marion

dreamdaisy

It is a huge step. It may be difficult to remember that it is not your enemy: it isn't, but you have to accept it, and that ain't easy. Don't rush yourself - I have never had anyone ask why I am on sticks, and I have never asked anyone why they have a rollator. They are self-explanatory, I would have thought. Give yourself time to come to terms with the idea - the theory is always easier than the reality. DD

speedalong

Hi Sue,

well done you for taking the plunge and buying it. I too kind of know what you mean about getting used to using it in public - from when I started using the crutches/wheelchair/scooter in public. Have a quip up your sleeve that you can reel off if you feel the need, something like, "I've upgraded from the pushchair!" for your neighbours etc

Once you have used it a few times and realise you can walk further with it and sit down when needed, I'm sure you will feel better about it.

Speedy

suzster

you lot are great!! thank you.
maybe i could put some speakers on it and a stereo of some sort? that way i can play some ozzy osbourne or similar and people will be to scared to comment!? any one know how to fit a stereo to it?!!!

looks like i'll need it sooner than i thought, been reducing my prednislone and have woken up feeling like i've been hit by a lorry, everything hurts, but that's another post!

i guess the answer is to just use it and i'm sure i will find getting out so much easier. i'll let you know so watch this space!
sue

woodbon

Hi, I know what you mean, it is hard to have to face using something like a frame, but if it stops you falling and allows you to keep your indepedence, then its worth it! If you get your little girl to sit on seat, (sounds like you won't have much choice about that ) then people will be looking and say 'oh how sweet' and won't notice you. :shock: I agree about jazzing it up, you could get a bumper sticker to put on the side, saying 'My other fame's a Jag'!!!

This is a mad house, I've just looked at the kitchen clock and it says 8.45, the one in here, says 4.15. I haven't a clue what time it is! :oops: No cats in crying for food so it can't be meal time!!!

Love Sue

c4thyg

Sue, Go for it. At least Sarah likes it and that's a big help. Meg loves riding around on her nanny's scooter as well and keeps asking me to get one! :shock: Thankfully I'm not there yet but at least I know that Meg will be accepting if I do get to that point.

Definitely jazz it up. It'll draw the attention away from you then. Also the talking point would be how cool your frame is and not why you have it.

You could try teaching Sarah the come back lines. Get her to say, 'My last one was a boring pushchair!' I'll bet that would stop anyone in their tracks!

Have a practise around the house first and then when the sun comes out and you're feeling good go for a short walk with it outdoors. Why don't you ask your Homestart volunteer to go with you the first time for support. I'm sure she'd love to help. If I was closer I'd join you.

Chin up sweetie. You'll have the coolest frame on the block!

suzster

thanks cathy, sarah likes scooters to, she tells people she wants a 'little car' for christmas to help her poorly legs!!
her and meg would be racing in them given a chance!!!

i think the way i'm feeling today it's a good job i did buy it, although on the down side if anyone ask me questions i may cry, feeling a bit rough and always get tearful during a flare, what a mess!
sue :oops:

dreamdaisy

I have just blubbed all over my rhuematology nurse, who was very understanding and actually quite pleased to hear all the down sides of things! She said that they (the staff) assume that all is well as people breeze in and out for the meth and it helps them to realise that not all of us are walking testaments to the efficacy of the stuff, and the rest of the rubbish that we ingest and inject. DD

frogmorton

Hi Sue

I for one am proud of you - you have done the right thing - if she can fit on let littley have a ride (and its safe of course ).

I know what you mean about bawling - there are days when you are just too delicate to be spoken too

Looks like you will be 'pimping' your rollator.

Love

and hugs

Toni xx

Ps DD blubbing???!!! :shock: Today is NOT a good day all round is it :?

suzster

thank you toni, that is a lovely thing to say.
as for you dd, it's so true that they think we are fine, i am guilty of sitting in front of rheumy smiling and saying i'm fine, luckily her and my GP have seen straight through me many times!
i hope you feel better soon
sue

dreamdaisy

I lost it big-time today in front of one of the rheumatology nurses, and she said it was a good thing for them, the staff, to see just how demoralising and depressing this whole malarkey is, otherwise they think that everything is going well and assume that every one is happy. I love frogmorton's phrase about being 'too delicate to be spoken to'. That sums me up beautifully re today. I'm crying all over the place. Never mind, tomorrow will be different. It usually is. DD

carola

DreamDaisy - sometimes it is such a good thing to let your eyes leak

At first with all this illness malarky I put a brave face on however then found that if I show that I am human and have a wee greet then the consultants take me seriously and take action.

Remember to use the hankies with aloe vera to be kind to your nose. I find cuddling a hot water bottle when having a bit of a cry so comforting and releasing.

Someone set up a thread of a 'positive thinking smiling day' recently, maybe we should set up a 'have a bubble day' to release all our pain?!

Let it all out, have a cuppa and I have a BIG smile waiting for you.

Love, Carol xx