You are not forgotten, theresa4

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dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
edited 25. Oct 2010, 21:23 in Living with Arthritis archive
I know you were recently going through a very rough patch, theresa. We haven't seen you for a while, I hope things have improved, if only a little, and that you are feeling brighter. Take care. DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
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  • beowolf
    beowolf Member Posts: 88
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Best wishes from me too :D:D:D:D

    Hope you are ok :D:D:D


    Beo
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,481
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Theresa

    wishing you all the very best and hope to see you back on here soon.

    Love

    Toni xx 048.gif
  • theresa4
    theresa4 Member Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    OMG I saww this and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you all so much I was only having a quick nosey and saw this thread.

    Things a ree not brill but Im coping. My urgent ENT is in DEC my GP is not impressed at all. It is a month after my rheumy appointment which was supposed to decide whether it was the underlying ENT problem or my new drugs. So dont know whats gonna happen now.

    My relationship is going downhill fast my husband is frustrated and becomming **** with me. I dont think he will cope long term if he has reached this stage 4 years in. Til death us do part my backside!!! he has been really nasty this last week.
    Starting to think its not worth going on any more I have no prospects and no life right now.

    Will be ok in a while thankyou for the thread its nice to know someone cares xxx
    love Theresa
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • roses1
    roses1 Member Posts: 1,850
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Awww Theresa ((((hugs))))

    Sorry to read your going through a rotten time hope things work out for you . Perhaps your OH is angry for you and doesnt realise hes upsetting you, Men what do they know eh?

    Take care

    Rose x
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3,635
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Message from the Moderators

    Please note: If at any time any of our members is feeling particularly low you can get advice and support by contacting the following:

    The 24/7 Samaritans’ phone number 08457 90 90 90
    Email address: jo@samaritans.org

    Or the Arthritis Care Helplines:
    By phone: 0808 800 4050 (10am-4pm weekdays)
    By email: Helplines@arthritiscare.org.uk

    By letter: Helplines team, Arthritis Care, 18 Stephenson Way, London
    NW1 2HD
    (NB the Arthritis Care helpline is open from 10am to 4pm weekdays only)

    Moderator IA.
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Theresa my friend I been there and its a horrible place.

    I know just now its hard to believe but you will find it gets easier. I don't know where you are in your head?I was in a cell with no doors or windows..... It was horrible but I saw a councillor....

    Flower it really did help. That was a cruse one cus my mother was a difficult lady and she had just died....

    Maybe this will help if you can visualize it. Sending you a bright ball of light and a ((((( ))))) and I promise you it will get better.

    partners don't always understand but can you talk it through? I wasn't able to with my ex and well if we had it might have been better....

    I am not helping am I?

    Just know you are not alone, most of us at some point are where you are and it does honestly get easier to cope with.

    ENT eh? they are always so slow to see you. December isn't too far if you look at it quickly.....

    Just know you are important and there are people who care flower. Another ((((( ))))) and a promise it does get better. Luv Cris xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh blimey, I hadn't realised it was that bad, I was really hoping things might have improved. Blasted men: they are not good at dealing with emotions (sweeping generalisation, I know, but I think it's true). A bloke sees a problem, he likes to know that if he does A, B and then C it will be mended. It doesn't work like that for our conditions.

    Arthritis hits the whole family: it's not content with just affecting the one person with the pain, inflammation, griding bones, stiffness, drugs and side effects etc etc etc, it likes to spread the pressure onto all. Conversation is important but can be difficult to initiate - and control. Resentment can flare and spiral from both sides, as I have found out once or twice with me and Mr DD.

    Counselling for both of you may well be an option - although I doubt he will consider it! You can also come and talk to us, theresa4. Don't allow yourself to become isolated with it all - which I know is very, very easy. Take out the frustration on us as we understand.

    Regarding your ENT appointment - is it worth mentioning to them that you would take a cancelled appointment, if given enough warning? I do that with all the extra people I have to see and sometimes I can get in so quickly: I am fortunate tho in that I live a two-minute drive from the hospital, which does help. Thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Theresa

    No wise words from me :oops: Don't know what to say so

    Just sending hugs (((((((()))))))

    JuliePF x
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi theresa
    I am here for you just like the others, you carry on talking to us lot, it will do you good to get things off your chest.
    I am sending you loads of hugs (((((())))
    And dont forget we are always here for one another.
    Lots of love
    Barbara xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,481
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Theresa

    :cry::cry::cry:

    So sorry you are having such a bad time and your husband isn't able to support you as you need :(

    I expect you will 'be alright' in a bit, but you shouldn't be having to 'do this' alone. So don't - let us support you - we are here and we totally 'get it'. We wont be cross with you or bored if you need to moan.

    This forum is THE place to come

    Love and hugs

    Toni xx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    From what I have read Teresa your family would fall to pieces without you so I think it is just frustrated comments from angry, frustrated members of your family. They don't understand you at all. I wouldn't suggest you leave them to get on with it but if you did they would be begging to have you back.


    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Theresa,

    I am saddened to think of all you've been coping with... your health, the inability of the hospitals to co-ordinate your appointments, and the difficulties at home. :( :roll:

    I do hope that things will start to turn around for you and that you and your OH will find a way of working through your relationship issues. Does the suggestion already made about counselling sound a possibility?
    Even if you can't/ don't agree to go for couple counselling it still might help you to speak to someone in confidence about all that is happening.... please do consider phoning the helplines.

    It can make a difference to talk through problems with them and many, like me!, have benefited from their advice and wisdom. No-one will tell you what you should or shouldn't do... but they will help you think through and separate out the issues... then it might just become clearer for you what your options are.
    Sometimes we need help.

    You are very much on my mind Theresa, and I am thankful to DD for starting this thread.... otherwise we wouldn't have known how things are for you ... and you wouldn't know how much we care and want to support you.

    Please post again when you are ready..

    Love and strength

    Iris xxx
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    will send a caring hug to go with the rest hope you are feeling the benefit x
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Theresa, you are in such a bad place at the moment, and maybe you do need someone to help you make some sense of it all.

    As things stand at the moment, I feel that couples counselling - even if OH agreed, which I doubt - would not be the answer. Too much of what is troubling you concerns your relationship with him. You need to be able to offload all that you are feeling, in a safe, confidential environment.

    Perhaps a visit to your GP - book a double appointment - where you could discuss the possibility of seeing a Person Centred Counsellor. Also, if I remember rightly, you were taking AD`s, so maybe these need to be increased a little, to give you the strength to fight for all the practical help you need.

    I send you much love........Ange.x.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    hi am so sorry to read this and do hope that you know we are all here for you no matter when there is usually some one wandering the halls you are never totaly alone hugs val
    val
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Theresa,

    Just dropped in again to say hi and leave more hugs.

    You got some good advice here and the helplines... yep they are so good at just giving you a way to move forward.

    leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a lot of hopes that today is slightly better for you. Cris xx
  • theresa4
    theresa4 Member Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    HI All
    Thankyou all for your kind comments. I have done the counselling thing and the truth is it doesnt help with regards to my hubby as he wont go.

    I know he is stressed with work etc.... but Im sick of making excuses for his behaviour. I think I must have invited arthur in just to P*** him off.

    Im ok today had my hair done with my sis in law dont feel very well but happier now my hair is done.

    As for my relationship Im not being spoken to so hey quiet night for me and tomorrow we have some friends coming to stay over so he will put on a happy face for them..

    gonna have a rest now
    Thanks again everyone xx especially you DD for starting this thread I really needed to know you were all here xx
    Theresa xx
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I guess that 'maturity' is not his middle name. I am sorry, theresa, I hope I haven't made anything worse for you - that was SO NOT my intention. You know we are here - you take care, thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • theresa4
    theresa4 Member Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    dreamdaisy wrote:
    I guess that 'maturity' is not his middle name. I am sorry, theresa, I hope I haven't made anything worse for you - that was SO NOT my intention. You know we are here - you take care, thinking of you. DD

    DD I came on here feeling so down and seeing your thread cheered me up a bit. I feel so unloved at the minute by my lot so having the thread on here just for me felt really good.
    THankyou xxxx
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Theresa,

    life does sound very tough at the moment. Do you have an actual date for your ENT appointment? I'm sorry your partner is not being supportive.

    Do you have close relative or friend who could come and stay for a few days or who you could visit, just to give you a distraction/break for a few days.

    Talking to a helpline or a counsellor is a good idea.

    When I was having a rough time, I stumbled on this website whilst tentatively looking for what help might be available http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome It is an online course, free, anonymous and often recommended to people who are waiting for counselling. You just log on when you feel like it - it is good if you are feeling anxious and/or depressed. I have recommended it to several people. It might suit some, more than others.

    Speedy[/quote]
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning theresa4, I hope you are OK today. I think your family take you for granted (remembering some of your other threads.) Only you can change that. Stop putting them first quite so often - it hasn't gotten YOU very far. A little selfishness now and again is no bad thing. Start putting YOU first. That'll scare the living daylights out of them and might wake up their ideas! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • ironic
    ironic Member Posts: 2,361
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Theresa,

    Enjoy the visit from your friends and hopefully the atmosphere will be lifted for a while. Your hair looks nice by the way, suits you. :wink:

    Lv, Ix .
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Morning theresa4, I hope things are not too bad today, on all fronts. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi theresa

    I hope the visit from your friends cheered you up a little.

    Just popped on to send more hugs ((((()))) and yes the hair does suit you.

    Thinking of you
    JuliePF x
  • psyart
    psyart Member Posts: 600
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi theresa

    just poping in to give you (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) and loads support

    we are always here - so visit and write what you want and what you feel - think that always helps???

    take care

    Louise xx
    e050.gifo050.gif
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