A Kinda Rant.....

skezier

Hi All,

Screamed this into the sky but its not working so going scream it here as well.....

Some of you know had a bit of a rough drip, some of you have been clobbered and know how rough... feel guilty for that!

The tablets I need I can't yet take at the dose I have been on for a year happily! I am so fed up with the pain.

The abdo pain i in hyper drive, the botox is wearing off and I am totally stuffed with the cold and that's only been a couple of days........

Is this life...... I think not!

I am being pulled by the strings all the time not sleeping and this dam bone stuff (and I wasn't thinking dam) is hurting people I care about big time!

You know what he fates got it wrong.....

Its just not fair!!!!!

I am going to have to have the next drip, I think I got another ulcer and I just looking for a bullet actually... a mate said best make it silver

Teasey don't come close to this....

I done now.... only I am not

There is the makings of a swap out side the door and you know what I really wish the lodgers had gone! I look at the dents in the car, the broken frame (that was a good record as I remember) and I just want to scream but can' cu the pain in the abdo is effecting the breathing and the neck and shoulder are back to arguing with each other....

Now I am done cus someone has turned up.... they best not annoy me today....... Cris x

Oh and the sheep is still chronically lame.... have I said that? the eyes aren't so good either.... I rally do have to get a better mind frame eh? Anyone got one I can borrow.....................

barbara12

Oh Cris my love
I am so sorry things are feeling worse for you, I had everything crossed...some good that was.
There has to be something out there that would help...it just bl**dy knowing what it is
Wish I could help you...here are some hugs to be going on with... not much I know...but cant think of anything else sorry...((((((((()))))
Love Barbara xx

skezier

Thanks Barbara and that guy..... he should go in the rant as well!

Sending you a (((((((((( ))))))))) and a hope the idiot see's he wont get money by sueing you... I mean what does he think he will achieve by this? You counter sue flower and let him feel as you do! Ain't right and I so wish I could make it go away for you. Love Cris xx

barbara12

dont worry about me Cris...you have enough on your plate....my son has sent a letter to say will will counter sue if they carry on.
You take care of yourself.
Love and more hugs ((((()))))
Barbara xx

skezier

Hi Barbara,

Its those dam adverts you know... no such thing as an accident now a days! Its rubbish and suing a private individual... what does than achieve?! I tell you go after him as well..... hit him hard as well.....

I shall be o flower, I think most of me is now being driven by a lame sheep I love to bits who may be in so much trouble... and you know what i can't do it again, not yet......

Hey maybe the fates will get something right... you never know Sending love and ((((( ))))) and hopes. Cris who must go make matchwood into a fence before Friday else I do die :roll: xxx

julie47

Hi cris

I am so sorry yo are still having a bad time. All the meds you are taking and still no relief.

I wouldn't be much help to you on the farm (always in the way me :? with me mobility products) but I wish I could come and make you a cuppa, bring cake and I am sure you would laugh if you saw me.

Anyway al I can do is send cyber hugs so here goes ((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))) and just hope that you feel a little better soon.
Take care
Love JuliePF x

julie47

PS Barbara

I didn't know the man in the supermarket was making a claim from you. (I have got this right? him who fell to floor)
The scum bag
A big hug for you too (((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))
JuliePF x

bertyboy

oh Cris what a pickle it all sounds i wish there was a magic wand to wave in your direction all i can send is a very gentle but large hug you way , your beaming smile is taking a back step at min , but it will return xxxxx

angel1

Well, my own little Cornish Piskie, if that`s only a "kinda" rant, then I`m Sophia Loren!!

Something has got to be done, but what? We haven`t even hit the really bad weather yet. What scares me more than anything is what you said about the lodgers. You are lower than I`ve ever known you, so it`s decision time. Would it be worth seeing your GP, and reviewing everything again.

I feel as helpless as everyone else, and can only keep repeating that I am here for you. I will call you later.........Much love.......Ange.x.

annie_mial

Cris, petal, I wish I could think of something -anything - that would help!

I would love to be able to put you on complete bed rest for a week........along with the sheepy you are so worried about.

Can do no more than offer cyber hugs and some understanding of where you are at..............((((((((Cris))))))))) (((((((sheepy)))))))))...........and lotsa love to you.

Annie

dreamdaisy

You are correct, it is not fair. I don't know what to say, there is nothing I can do, I feel helpless. The love and care you show to the lodgers and all they do in return is wreck your stuff. Ungrateful beasts.

You lead a physically demanding and hard life, skezier, perhaps it is beginning to take its toll. All your thought and care is directed at the ark's contents, not a lot of it is directed towards you. Time to shift the emphasis on that one: the lodgers owners must do more towards their care, that will ease some strain on you and mean you can give more time to your sheep, yes? Don't take no for an answer - they have to fetch the water etc, it is beyond you at the moment and the more you do it the more harm you will cause yourself. I know the ark needs you but you need to give yourself some TLC. Do we need to devise a Plan C? Thinking of you. DD

skezier

..............And, and and............. the pony been out again so got to go walk about, find the hole and block it! Had to drag the pony back of course and you know what they are leaving a month earlier than arranged I think! There are 12 of them and a mass breakout i couldn't handle One is pushing it.....

Hi Julie and Berty,

All hugs gratefully received today i can tell you Berty i am so worn down that's all..... going to go west this week that might hep though even its magic isn't going to be strong enough this time! ((( )))'s back to you Cris xx

Hi Annie and Lynn,

Oh yep being driven by fear of Stamp and the pain is about right! Hitting the wall of sound just now and this abdo pain is going to have to be investigated..... See the gp on Thursday...

hey none of this is helped by letters from consultants who show just how bad the useless doctors really were.... and Lynn as you know there are 2 dogs in the line as well... talk about dajasodding voo.....!!!! So tied of this fate crap crashing in all the time.... does it show :roll: ((( )))'s to you both xx

Hi 'Sophia'

How you doing flower? It wasn't meant to be a rant but I am so wound up Ange...... I know whats coming and I can't do it.... will have to and dig a hole and you know what she is youngest and its just NOT words that would be deleted Fair"!!!!!

Waiting for a miracle for her me and a lot of you! ((( ))) and can you hear this?"! xx

Hi DD,

I got a plan C......I just get away from here for a few days.....Its not as easy as it sounds and well flower I just got a dose of winter blues a bit early that's all....

Will get this pain sorted and try to stop worrying about the next drip but if what we talked about is in the letter and it goes to the ward I really will have a bad time..... Silly eh getting worried this early! Brace your self (((( )))) xx

dreamdaisy

It's not silly. Getting worried about things is a normal human tendency. Worrying about things that one cannot change is a fairly pointless activity (but we all do it regardless), worrying about things that one might have engendered for oneself (by lodging a complaint, or by being honest about certain situations and not being sure if one will be understood or forgiven) is a different kettle of fish. Those worries are far tougher to ignore. How many people quash their wishes and desires just to stop any argument/fighting/fall out between themselves and others, and then live in a state of on-going unhappiness? Sometimes a stand has to be made and that takes courage. You may be many things skezier but a coward isn't one of them. You have guts and determination a-plenty but you don't like making a fuss. You had grounds for complaint, as far as I can tell, so no wonder you are fretting now. Who gives a damn about whether you have hurt someone's feelings or whatever? What about how they hurt you? That counts, and counts hugely. Right is on your side on this one. I suspect it may all go a damn sight better than you can envisage. Things often get tougher before they get better - that's not comforting, I realise that, but it is often true. Take care, and I am sending you some love. DD

queenfan

Hi Cris sorry you are going through this awful patch,
It would get me down & everyone else too,
you know we are all here for you, Because you are always one of the first people to give support to everyone else,
keep your chin up my friend
Take care lots of gentle ((((()))))
Sue xx

dorcas

Hi Cris,

you know, sometimes we've just got to let it all out..... so keep the rant going!

you've been through more than most and faced so much , as DD said, with grit and determination. :roll: but you're not super woman and it's ok to say how much all of this is getting to you. :!:

having to look ahead can be a painful thing to do, and making decisions that you don't want to make hangs heavy on you.

we are here for you.. with words of comfort and support when you need them... and a lump hammer for when that's needed too.

if I were closer... well you know I'd do anything I could to soften the impact of the difficulties that lie ahead.

love and (((hugs)))

Iris xx

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lindalegs

Luv Legs XX

minky67

Oh Cris im so sorry to read about your troubles.
I know how much your lodgers mean to you & how hard the decissions ahead are for you.
I have no words that are going to make things any easier for you but want you to know that im thinking of you & will always be here for you.
Sending you bucket loads of (((((((((())))))))))
luv debs

Wonkylegs

huge hugs Cris, as I am left without a clue how else to help you my love.

wish so much things could be different for you, but do please tell all to your lovely new GPs and ask them for all they can do to help you.

PLease rant away on here because we are all here for you with loads of slurps and hugs (((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))

I'd kick something into next week for you if I could ....... but in the meantime a huge bucket of hugs will have to suffice.

all my love (((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))

WONky

salamander

hi Cris, sorry to hear you are feeling really rough at the moment. And having to deal with ponies and sheep as well. I don't know how you do it. Sending you a big hug. I wish I could do something more for you.
xx

snowball

Hi Cris I am sorry to read you are going through it still, wish I had a solution for you. Sending you a huge cyber ((((((((((((hug))))))))))) from me. Take care.

Love Jules xx

joanlawson

Hi Cris

I'm so sorry that you are in pain and going through such a bad patch at the moment.

I have no solutions to offer, but I know that you have great courage and strength of character, so I think you deserve some luck on your side soon.

Tommy sends you a very big purr, and here's a big hug from me too.



Joan

skezier

Hi DD, Sue, Iris, Legs, Debs, Wonky, Sally, Julie and Joan,

Thank you all cus its been a god awful day..... You now have part two of the rant I am so wound up I think I could fly!

Lost a chicken..... did find her with slipper boys help so she is safely in. Made me late.....

Was meant to pick someone up and take them past the sheep and get them after I had done the sheep .....

Went to St A to get them, got a phone call the pony is out again.....

Came back to play hunt a horse in the dark..... got her and you know what her and sadly Rowan since its his mum are ensconced in the barn and will stay there till I have found her escape rout and stopped her....

Went back to pick up the one who wanted a lift..... I seem to becoming the carer and its not easy......

Anyway dropped her off and went to the sheep.... 2 bales in the car and dog who has lost the plot and had been left when I came to get the pony back in...been feed a lode of stuff... well the car is now well christened.....

Went to the sheep shed, all the fence is down, the electric fence is in bits and the calves have done a bit of Armageddon! I say calves but they are as high as my nose, 2 have horns and the other 2 well one has too much attitude!

Sorted out the shed, did the girls meds got hurt as usual..... well that's normal I don't blame her either.

Went to do the fences.... the heavens opened and I mean opened. Got soaked to the skin everywhere it was that bad and then wired it all up moaning at the calves and threatening them with 240 volts and then remembered that's their fate so now up set about that.

At one point my self, the sheep and panda eyes were all in the shed with a bale of hay .... doesn't sound much does it?! You try it this is a big cow..... with attitude and predisposition to kicking

I got very scary... she panicked and forgot where the door was.. she did think about going out the window but thankfully dodging back feet I managed to frighten her enough to remember the big hole behind her was the way out.......

Threw them some hay at them and got rid of them.... mended the fence, wired up the other one, struggled to get the battery over (well I had 2 bales with the help of the calves....) Wired it up and went to pick up the lift home.....

The phone had no less than 16 missed calls..... It was driving me insane actually but it often does......

Drive back with 40 mins of moaning about how long I had been and how late it was getting..... Dropped her off, soaking wet and really cold by then. Got home, the cats knocked the torch into a water bucket full of water... the battery charger is also on the deck and I am seriously going to find every single bottle of horrible life shampoo and bin it!!!

Not so wet now though am covered in cow muck, mud and I am not quite sure what! Sorry maybe I should have changed?! can you smell it I haven't smelt this bad since I quite relief milking

Well that's my day... except one thing keep nagging at me.... I do the horse water, the fence repairs and now feeding the mare and foal with the sheep's hay,..... Its meant to be DIY livery... I don't think so.... i really need to learn how to toughen up eh?!

Hey DD,

I am a coward you know. I just want to run and hide from pain (and I have got a bit) and the doctor who is going to have to examine me and that's embarrassing in its self! The drip well that's not going to be able to dodge the drip looking at my hands and feet tonight..... Mind I have got some cold and so wet......I shall find my mantel again soon and shove it all behind it I promise. ((( ))) xx

Hi Sue,

I will get back to soon I promise and hope things are a bit easier for you? ((( ))) xx

Hi Iris,

I know flower and its 2 way!

Hey just use the lump hammer as hard as you like please cus half the problem is I ain't sleeping so good

Tomorrow is another day and I have some matchwood to turn to fences and find Own's gap and cure it cus she can't live in the barn cus I can't keep up with her hay intake! Like I said DIY livery I just don't think so eh?

Hope you had a decent night cus you will hopefully not be here this time of night and leaving you another anything you need bucket and a ((( ))) xx

Hi Legs,

Thank you flower and well maybe tomorrow will be better?! ((( ))) and a hope your doing ok? xx

Hi Debs,

Sorry the pm said it all :oops: :oops: Glad you all had a good day though. ((( ))) xx

Hi Wonky,

I will be ok as soon as they leave! This getting out and having to trog and get and drag back as she seems to forget how to walk is wearing me down so she will have to be one who does go soon..... Less I can fin her gap...... I really can't see where she is doing it just now so will have to troll the fences and banks a bit better tomorrow eh?

Leaving you a slurps bucket at his insistent and you might ant to dodge that one and a ((( ))) xx

Hi Sally and Julie,

Thanks for you messages, Julie I know things are tough for you and well a ((( ))) for you and Sally one for you as well. xx

Hi Joan,

Loved the pandas and please thank Tommy for me. hey this lot on mass send some back.... run if you can Hope things are okish for you? ((( ))) xx

Right I just eat a paddington sandwich and its kicked it off again so shall,go play hunt the silver bullet if Iris doesn't get me with the lump hammer first

You all take care and I promise I will do everything I can to be in a better mood tomorrow....... Cris xx

psyart

Hi Cris - what can i say to help you and support you :?:

my god woman you have got the world on your shoulders and now on your back

can you not say to them that if they dont look after their own animals then they will have to go :?: :?: I dont know the ins and outs - but if its a DIY - surely they should be doing more :?: Sorry if this has been said to you before :oops:

you are such an amazing woman - why oh why do people take the p@@s out of you when you have such a big heart - but listen to what DD has said - you need to think of yourself - because if you dont who will and then what will happen :?: :?:

ok - too early in the morning to act as a nag :!:

please, please take care of yourself - loads of hugs and support from this area of cornwall - and enjoy your days away :!:

Louise xx

dorcas

Cris

I am hoping that somehow you have managed to get some restful sleep?... but am doubting it as I read about yesterday's pressures and demands.

The S/H elpers need to look after their own. It is just far too much for you to manage on top of your own ark responsibilities. :roll: If the S/Hers did what they're obliged to do it would take the weight off your shoulders. what about handing each of them a note reminding them of that?

and the demands of J... well there also needs to be a shift there. :? doesn't there? If J needs a carer then that is what social services are there for. Perhaps a nudge towards contacting them to assess what help can be provided by them might be the way forward. :?:

If you could change the things that are in your power to change......narrow down the day to day tasks that are yours to do and shed the unrealistic selfish physical demands of others then things might become a bit easier?

love and (((hugs)))

Iris xxx

dreamdaisy

I think that we are all cowards when it comes to pain - even masochists might baulk at what we endure! The fact that females have fewer pain receptors than males is neither here-nor-there when it is 24/7 pain, from head to toe, which destroys sleep or any form of quality rest. I know that you are quite a shy person who hates causing a fuss or upsetting anyone - strangely enough that is a quality we share tho many on here might not believe that of me - but over the past couple of years pain has made me bloody-minded and I reckon now that I have enough to deal with on a daily basis without backing over bendwards (as a colleague used to put it) to accomodate the stupidity and crassness of others. Don't feel guilty about making a stand or complaining: they don't give a damn so treat as treated.

It's interesting, isn't it, how those we put ourselves out for respond by harping? If we don't make an effort to help we feel guilty, then when we do they complain that what we have done is not good enough.

Speakers and deadmau: it's the only way to sort this today. DD

bertyboy

OH Cris where are peeps responsibilitys if its diy ,they need to give thier support , so wish i could help , can always send hugs but its not enough xx