Tactfully refusing an invitation-how do you do it?

knitternsk8rgirl

You know how it is with Arfur and fatigue? What do you all say to refuse invitations from people who don't know about your Arfur and you don't want to go into lots of medical details with them in public? My family & close friends know about my fatigue and that I don't do a lot other than go to work, come home and put my feet up, but on Saturday I had an invitation to go to the Theatre Monday, as one of the group of people I was with had a spare ticket unexpectedly. It came totally out of the blue and I didn't know what to say - I didn't want to tell everyone there all my medical history, but I couldn't think of a good reason to give 'off the cuff' why I wouldn't be able to do it, and I've kicked myself ever since because I didn't feel I could just say 'no' and leave it at that. Anyone have any advice on this one?

mellman01

Hmmm tricky!, not sure how you can do this but been there in the past, you say yes but you really mean no sort of thing, can't you contact your freind with the ticket and say you've just had an appointment come through from the hospital so your not going to be able to make it?, either that or just be honest and say you are feeling really tired from your RA and due to a change in meds your not up to it if they are real freinds they will understand, but I would tell the person who offered the ticket in private or on the Q T as people can be slightly odd I find when it comes to arthritis pain, had my head snapped off a couple of times in the past no empathy at all and that was from a close freind!, hey you live and learn.

jillyb1

If you don't feel up to the rigmarole of explaining ailments ; I find that good old fashioned fibs fit the bill ! Oh what a shame , I've got my mum , sister , brother , third cousin twice removed , coming over for a catch up that evening . Always works for me ! Jilly .

salamander

I was invited to go to something I wouldn't enjoy recently and I just lied and said how sorry I was that I was busy that evening.

annie_mial

I usually tell them enough of the truth to satisfy them.......'Sorry, I've got a really bad knee and I can't sit comfortably for more than a few minutes' or words to that effect.

Annie

hileena111

Hi,
I think in the long run its best to tell them the truth...as simply as possible.....and if they are real friends they'll stick around but itf they think you are just putting them off for no reason they'll soon disappear
Only my opinion
Love
Hileena

salamander

It depends how good a friend they are. My close friends know but I don't particularly want to explain myself to other people so don't. Never complain, never explain!

livinglegend

All you have to say is that you suffer from arthritis and you are/maybe too ill to go. That's it, nothing further required! Real friends understand, the rest don't matter.

Works for me. Never treat your arthritis as a secret to be ashamed of, if something is a problem say so and why.

Joseph