How things are for me

mellman01
mellman01 Member Posts: 5,303
Boy am I down right now every time I ask for help I get kicked to the ground, be it at work or the hospital or social outings, I have had OA of both kneecaps for 3 odd years and even the surgeon isn’t helpful anymore, HR want my **** on a spit my line manager is a nasty bugger and my top boss wont talk to me and wants me sacked under incapability, even the union rep is distant and what’s the crime?, getting sick, I have always played by the rules and worked really hard as I don’t pick things up that quick so I always use keenness to overcome any problems, and what did this do for me, bugger all squat nothing not a dam thing, I have really had it right now I don’t know what to do I guess I have come to the end of the line, the game is up the last card is about to be laid on the table and I have run out of options and avenues, it’s like I’m down a log corridor and one by one the lights go out and the dark is closing fast, I can’t go on like this really don’t know what to do anymore I feel engulfed by despair and to tired to run anymore I just want to curl up and the world to bugger off and leave me alone, I don’t want anything other than a bit of flippin empathy, is it to much to ask!?.

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh mell, I am so sorry. You have had it rough for a while, I know, it's no wonder it's all too much now. Perhaps early retirement on health grounds could be an option, surely it's worth investigating. No-one falls sick like us on purpose, it's one of life's less attractive lotteries and we are the unlucky winners. I think the helplines are closed at the week-end, how about ringing the Samaritans? They are impartial, and good listeners. I wish I could do and/or say something wonderful but all I can type is I am thinking of you, very much, and I hope things improve soon. If ever, by some weird set of circumstances, we do meet in real life then I will stand you a pint or three. Will that do? DD
  • jean123
    jean123 Member Posts: 642
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Mell,

    I am sure that the Helpline team will contact you very soon. They are really brilliant.

    Hugs in the meantime,

    Jean
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 2,778
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Mel
    Yes the Helplines team are here just keeping a warm friendly eye out for those who might need a bit of support over the weekend.
    I can see there is a lot going on for you and you sound really down. I'm going to take some time to write you a private message and if you want to reply direct to me over the weekend thats fine. Can't promise to keep up a very long convo - but I do check in a couple of times a day.
    Then on Monday you can give the team a ring on our free confidential Helpine number 0808 800 4050. 10am to 4pm. Free from BT landlines and mobiles on orange, tmobile vodafone, three and O2.
    We have a lot of information about work and how to get your needs over to employers. Besides a lot of info about arthritis, treatments and in your case knees.
    Hope this will help - give me a few mins and I'll be into the PM side of things.
    Sound OK ?
    Penn
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My apologies, I honestly thought you were away over the weekend, I should have known better. :oops: I was going on what Mod DJ said to someone a little while ago. I am sorry. DD
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 2,778
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    No worries DD - we are always here weekends and Bank Holidays - someone will even be looking in on Xmas Day - so send us a vrtual mince pie and a hug !
    penn
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    OK, will do, a couple of brandy-infused mincies will wing their way to HQ on Christmas Day! It's good to know that there is someone about, gawd knows things can suddenly hit one and the plunge into absolute darkness can be terrifying. DD
  • mirabella
    mirabella Member Posts: 272
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    OH! Mellman,please don't be like this,I need your input on this forum,you amongst others have given me what I need a good kick!! I sure understand what your saying! My pits get so low,that I wonder whats it all about :?: I have 2 new hips and should be up and running,but my knee is shot,so will now have to go down same road.You are a strong man be strong! I don't always have a lot of faith in men,but you are one of a kind! I don't do hugs or stuff like that,but I know that you will be back soon.Just a blipp! Give all your family a big hug tell them you love them,sometimes it works!!Mirabella
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,515
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello mellman

    I am sad and angry for you in equal measure... you have fought so hard to try to get fairness and support from the consultant, union and employers... and still they all let you down so badly. :x

    I know what it's like to fight for rights in the workplace and I know how crushing it is when time after time you feel as though, despite all your honesty and effort, you hit a brick wall.

    There comes a time when faced with such intransigence that we need help... I had the help of the helplines and I'm glad to see that the helplines folks are around for you too. I do hope that they can provide advice that will begin to etch a path for you through this difficult time.

    Please know that we care about you mellman and want to help if we can.
    lots of love,
    Iris xxxx
  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,272
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Mellman

    it is awful going to work everyday - struggling and to have no support, understanding or appreciation. It wears you down. i'm not suprised you are feeling so miserable. I'm battling at work at the moment too, so understand your predicament a little.

    I didn't realise the helplines had info on work related problems, that is good to know.

    Speedy
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Morning mell, I hope things have picked up a little for you. Take care in this nasty weather. DD
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,303
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well it's like furkin Ben hur honestly, but at last I have got a letter from the furkin surgeon, what gets me is he never wrote the report he was meant to way back in March 2010 so I e mailed him asking where it was and got no reply so I e mailed him again and got a reply saying they would look into it, well again nothing so I e mailed again it was now late September this time I asked does he want to see me again this time I get a short e mail saying yes, now this is a private aopintment so I arranged it ASAP, well anyway I went back and this time he was slightly off hand to say the least, advised me to leave work if I was having trouble and that he would not support my ill health retirment although I have only 2 choices ill helth or incapability, he was only going to comment on my level of OA and adjustments at work.
    I should have also been the first to see his letter as I had requested first look but he went and sent it to my company Doctor and only sent me a short letter saying he had already done so!.
    So anyway I had no real luck with the company Doctor who said he had no problem with me seeing it although it was about me and meant to go to me first!?, so with that in mind again I e mailed the surgeon and this time reminding him that I had legally requested first look and had a recorded e mail stating just that.
    So this time he promptly sent me a copy, and in it he has stated in it that he advised me many people with my type of OA can find they can carry on working in semi manual jobs so he went against his word good one eh thanks for the furking support!.
    That said I have a letter here he sent me pre op stating that there was an 80% chance of the OP having some benifit and 3-5% making it worse, so that leaves 17-15% unaccounted for?, maybe he isn't so strong on maths although he charges £150 just for a 10 minute chat so he can be off hand with you, conclusion I'm in the wrong flippin job!

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