What superstar turned your local Christmas lights on??

tjt6768

Having stood in the cold for what seemed like an eternity, my joints all screaming at me to take them back to the semi-comfort of the nice warm house, all in an effort to witness the wonder of the 'special guest' due any minute to switch the lights on, we're entertained in a fashion by the other 'special guests' first, the compare introducs them, we all wait with baited breath, who will this be, maybe Tom & Katie building up the crowd for Branjelina....... It all starts to get too much for some and they're rushed away by the St. John's ambulance crew in a euphoric state, way too much excitement I think, one of them says as they lug the poor-happy-faced-middle-aged woman past... Then, the compare continues, are we ready....
The crowd is in a frenzy, screaming with delight, who will it be, who...??

"has anyone seen Wife swap?" comes the question.... What's that got to do with hollywood I think to myself...
"Well, here they are, performing their acrobatic act, the sutchandsutch family"
On walks what can only be described as a family of eager-to-please X-factor rejects, mother, father, teenage son and a younger son, about 7... Teenager looks about as happy to be there as I am at this point.. They start throwing the poor little one around like he's a rugby ball, he loves it, the teenager just keeps looking out to the crowd, wishing, hoping that he's adopted and his real family are out there and they'll rescue him from this madness any minute....

By now I'm a tad bewildered, confused and sore, these are the 'special guests' then I say to my OH, who's angry that I made her go in the first place, "at least it was outside Moggisons, so we got some grapes and other bits and bobs, not a total waste", is what I say to her, she doesn't hear me as the techno-crap-music is blaring out from the loudspeakers while the loony mother folds herdelf in half, sticking her head out from her bum like some weird big-headed newborn appearing from the wrong place.... Teenager just looks at his feet and hopes none of his school-mates are there..

We pop back into the store in a vague effort to see something to buy while the carnage continues outside...

By the time we emerge the lunatics have left the stage, think the teen left his dignity behind though, the compare just stood in it.......

Then, it is time.... The tension builds and builds, "are you ready folks" shouts the compare....... "This is what you have been waiting for" he says...
"Tell me about it" OH shouts in my general direction....

We spy some 'security' coming out of the store flanking someone, we only get the briefest of glimpses, blonde hair, female, who could it be............... She was short, maybe it's Kylie!!!!!! Oh, please let it be Kylie

She's ushered round the back of the stage...
The compare starts to build the crowd up again, it's time, we all wait for the moment when the compare will introduce 'her'......................

"Does anyone watch Hollyoaks?".....................

Erm, no...................

It was some woman from bleedin hollyoaks, never heard of her, never seen her in mi bloomin life, woopdydoo..... Think she'd been in the store getting some frozen veg for tonight's tea..

I should have known OH was right, she always is..

Fireworks were good though, especially the ones inthe car on the way home as I made her go,lol....

Hope your 'special guests' are better than ours..

Tony

joanlawson

Hi Tony

Aw, sorry you didn't get to see Kylie :!: I wouldn't have a clue who anyone from Hollyoaks is either. Our Christmas lights in Derby were switched on by two failed X Factor contestants from previous years, I believe. The reason they failed is because they were no good, so why should anyone want to turn out to see them now, I wonder :?: Beats me :shock:

Joan

mellman01

Good one Tony makes my shopping trip to Reading look really tame!, hey I bet your parking didn't cost as much as our!. station multistory a cool £6.70p!, Reading is crap the Oxford park and ride is cheaper these days so think will be goin there in future!.

queenfan

Treyc (That's how she spells it) from x factor switched our lights on in Telford,
Also we travelled to do some Xmas shopping at the Merryhill shopping centre, where Olly Murs switched theirs on.

tjt6768

queenfan wrote:

Treyc (That's how she spells it) from x factor switched our lights on in Telford,
Also we travelled to do some Xmas shopping at the Merryhill shopping centre, where Olly Murs switched theirs on.

They spoil you way too much there
I'll be honest, I have no idea who either is..

Tony

mellman01

Well I'm going to see if I can't get Abu Hamza to do ours, that might liven things up better than some so called celebthat no one knows who they are, I mean everyone knows who dear old Abu Hamza is!.

tjt6768

mellman01 wrote:

Well I'm going to see if I can't get Abu Hamza to do ours, that might liven things up better than some so called celebthat no one knows who they are, I mean everyone knows who dear old Abu Hamza is!.

It'll have to be a pullcord for the lights then, not a button :shock: :shock:

valval

did not go to ours but ben ten, some one pig , and another person dressed in cheep costume did ours gave it a miss lol

frogmorton

Fake JLS!!!!!

Abu hanza Mell..... :roll:

tjt6768

valval wrote:

did not go to ours but ben ten, some one pig , and another person dressed in cheep costume did ours gave it a miss lol

How could you miss out on such an opportunity Val?? Just think of the fun and excitement you could have had :shock: :shock:

Tony

tjt6768

frogmorton wrote:

Fake JLS!!!!!

Abu hanza Mell..... :roll:

Don't even know the REAL JLS!

roses1

Sounds like you had a fabulous time Tony! :roll:

tjt6768

roses1 wrote:

Sounds like you had a fabulous time Tony! :roll:

Oh just fabulous Rose, fabulous.............. :roll: :roll:


I still think I had a better time than the teenage son... :shock:
Tony

tonesp

Three men and a crane turned up to put up the three strings of lights across our village main street No one asked if they were celebrities However i will convey the message they left FELIZ NAVIDAD

tjt6768

Bueno!!! lol
Are you sure that the three men on the crane weren't some retired Spanish boy band? Lol

Tony

tjt6768

rehab44 wrote:

tonesp wrote:

Three men and a crane turned up to put up the three strings of lights across our village main street No one asked if they were celebrities However i will convey the message they left FELIZ NAVIDAD

I am sure I knew him :shock:

I think he was head of the Isreali secret service in the 70's :shock:

tjt6768

I think he was head of the Isreali secret service in the 70's :shock: [/quote]
No that was Avraham Shalom[/quote]
BLESS YOU! :?

tonesp

Oh my God thought I had got into the Israelites but found the Phillistines The Israeli head of espionage was Yom Kippur a totally different celebration :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

tjt6768

tonesp wrote:

Oh my God thought I had got into the Israelites but found the Phillistines The Israeli head of espionage was Yom Kippur a totally different celebration :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: