Re:State interest game

mellman01
mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
edited 7. Dec 2010, 16:54 in Community Chit-chat archive
I suggest a new game we can all play, it’s called “the state does care” and the way you play is like this, you have to post as many words as you can think of that will trigger an automatic monitoring response from the secret cough!, bunker that the state has looking at everything we do day and night!.
Oh don’t think they aren’t all CCTV systems are now in HD and you try using a bog standard photo for your passport see where that will get you, they also have to be in HD for face recognition software that is now running all CCTV systems out there
Anyway where was I oh yes the winner is the one who gets their front door kicked in by a disgruntled squad of SAS men, you can get extra points for being interrogated beaten up sleep deprived and the biggy shipped of to Guantanamo with a mega bonus if when released you get thet terrorists friend from Liberty Ms Chakrabarti to stand up for you on new at ten, I didn’t mention BBC news it’s as it openly bats for the other team so to speak so they don’t count.

Right I’ll go first
I was walking down the road the other day doing a spot of reconnaissance for the next public “speaking event” when who should turn up but my old mate Osama, well how surprised do you think I was when he proudly produce a fresh batch of merchandise complete with initiators and associated wiring (Halfords eh where would we be without them!) and all that from just 3kg of chapatti powder and some hydrogen peroxide Osama!?, wow you know your “curry” mate your time in the “base” really paid off is all I can say!, well god willing the Kafir will get a right old tastes of how we oppressed brother of the eastern tribes react to the 5th western crusaders in our lands, oh yes no more flippin burgers for me, it’s 43 virgins and all the milk and non alcoholic wine I can get down me fat neck when I’m called to do his bidding ishallah!.
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Comments

  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I blame it on the Tramadol I seriously do, that stuff sends me even more batty than normal, hey hang on there's somone at the door?, oh and the window!, how strange is BANG!!!, Weeeeeee POP!, Scream shouts of fer%in he*& I thought you were Domino's with me Pizza!!??, Thump!, silence apart from the odd moan and a sound of hand cuffs being applied!.

    Right your turn Len!.
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Now I'm getting SERIOUSLY worried about you two :shock: :shock: :shock:
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  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have a pure white cat for you to have sat on your knee to finish the evil look you're going for rehab! He's a bit wild though...

    He likes to feed on bad doctors, christmas cake, salt and vinegar crisps, the occasional russian spy, semtex, afghan nationals and the odd banana..
    Look after him though, he's daddy's big baby boy.. PS, don't say that bit out loud, he's got his reputation to keep..


    Tony
    AKA, terrorist Tony, member of the blokes bar against american tyranny.. :mrgreen:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I don't know nuffin mister I was only going to pleach me hair with the concentrated hydrogen peroxide it's the truth!, it's terrorist Tony you should talk to he's been making IED's for years bugger I mean ermm he's had an HGV for years!!, look I'm just the monkey honest mate it's him you want to talk to, he's the organ grinder!, NO! NO! not the drill again I can't take much more!!!,sob moan sound of water running onto the floor.
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY worried :shock: :shock: :shock:
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  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joanlawson wrote:
    SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY worried :shock: :shock: :shock:


    Yeah, me too Joan, didn't take much for him to grass me up did it, I don't know, all it took was a couple of slaps.. Gonna have to get some tougher henchmen!!!


    Tony Terrorist :mrgreen:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Joan, joan, you've missed your cue...........if you are going to be Mae West, can I be Anna Neagle? Or possibly Garbo?
    Or Veronica Lake?

    (Can you tell when I lost interest in films?)

    Whatever, one of us has to slink on wearing the usual tailor made and furs, together with a feathery hat.........if it's the other scene, we have sumptuous silk and satin negligees trimmed with lace.........let's give this lot a touch of class!

    Annie
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You may torture my henchman as much as you want, he knows little of my world domination plan, you and your moustache don't stand a chance againsy Tony Terrorist!!! :x
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ha Ha, little do they know that I, Joan Mae West, have the key to the jar which holds the last of the Seven Eggs of Destiny :!: :shock: If you want to know where it is, you'll have to come up and see me sometime. Remember,it's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it.
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  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    rehab44 wrote:
    tjt6768 wrote:
    You may torture my henchman as much as you want, he knows little of my world domination plan, you and your moustache don't stand a chance againsy Tony Terrorist!!! :x
    ' I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.'

    All written in a really atrocious French accent
    Well me and my 'stupid English kernigguts' will be victorious, you'll see. We will get to May West before you, take Seven Eggs of Destiny up to the fountain of eternal bliss, through the forest of barmy doughnuts, on to the toilet of Dorno, then through the weeds of columbo and make our way to the fortress of shi*.. Oh, bum................ I've just told you my whole plan like some kind of spy film!!!! Damn you Jimmy Bond..

    Tony :mrgreen:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 6. Dec 2010, 12:04
    delboy
    "Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age."
    William Feather


    Bl*&dy right mate life to short to grow up, hey I think the olny reason they haven't been round is there looking for the wikileaks guy, boy is he in deep do do or wot!.
    Now I was thinking that these leaks are good in a way and that's because it shows that the world leaders are not all in each others pockets so the illuminati are just an urban myth so there's no need to be paranoid but then I had another thought, what if the leaks are done by them to throw us all of their trail!!!? WOW now that's got me even more paranoid than before!
    That's it I'm off to the mountains to set up a secret "trainning camp" for "parking wardens" so anyone who want's to "join" the "group" are welcome, all I ask is you bring your own "equipment" and it's got to be of 7.62mm "ticket size" cough!, if ya get me drift?
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yeah Del, those bottles with wicks in make erm, brilliant 'candles' don't they?

    I'll bring a few lengths of pipe and some nails, for erm, plumbing purposes... Ahem...

    Tony Terrorist
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh for Allah's sake use code CODE we can't have the rozzers catching on, I don't know why I bother honestly it's like herding cats!.
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 7. Dec 2010, 00:06
    'Here, oh mein hairy one' Veronica, sexily hiding behind her hair, coos prettily. (Y'know for anyone who remembers her, I think I've now got pretty much the same hairstyle, just shorter! and if you don't remember, well, you have two choices).

    She runs her hand along his arm, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand to attention (no comments!) The silky low cut negligee falls further south as she glides closer. Her perfume, musky and exotic, reaches him and he begins to feel lightheaded.....

    'Sis is ze way to ze boudoir', she pulls commandingly at his arm.......

    (I think I'm rewriting The Sheikh - laugh a page now, reading it by today's standards)
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Where did I go wrong!? x:))
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    WHERE did you find that photo of me?

    Annie
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've had a makeover since then - the hair is now black as night.........and as soft as silk.........

    Annie
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    rehab44 wrote:
    mellman01 wrote:
    Where did I go wrong!? x:))

    You wanted to be a terrorist, I am just a lover x:))


    I'm a love terrorist!!! I am, as they say on the street, da bomb!! Lol
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Love terrorists......they're the most lethal :shock: What are your weapons :?: Cupid's arrows, red roses and promises :?:
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  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am too shy to discuss my weapons Joan... :oops: :oops:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    A shy love terrorist........... how sweet :!: x:))
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  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joanlawson wrote:
    A shy love terrorist........... how sweet :!: x:))
    with dimples too! :lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Even more lethal :!: :lol:
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  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have in my possesion the dimples of deadlliness and I am not afraid to use them... I will have world domination, my plan will come to fruition, you will all bow at my feet... Obama will be my golf caddy, mr dinnerjacket or whatever his name is will clean my pool, the libcon mob will be general dogsbodies, who's laughing now, not you Mellman!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what you get for turning supergrass on me!! You will be my first target.. Be prepared my old friend, the war is at hand... Joan, you wil have to choose sides, and now, the offer only stands for the nect few minutes....................................

    tick tick tick....

    Tony :lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry, Oh Deadly Dimpled Terrorist, we had a power cut just at the vital time, so I didn't know that I had to choose :!: :shock: Am I doomed now :?:
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