The New Improved NHS

joanlawson
joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
edited 8. Jan 2011, 06:41 in Community Chit-chat archive
Hi

The British Medical Association has weighed in on the Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals.

The Allergists are scratching their heads, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ENT specialists wouldn't hear of it.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

Meanwhile, a group of aneasthetists decided to earn more for the NHS by becoming the next big boy-band, named the Laryngospasms. They are seen at rehearsal in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOrjcLJ2IE0

Joan :grin:
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Comments

  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    delboy wrote:
    Vascular Surgeons said it was in the right vein.

    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • cthornley
    cthornley Member Posts: 627
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol:
    Particularly funny as my husband is a very active member of the BMA (ex chair of junior docs committee).....he's a cardiologist .... and a very vocal dissenter...I think he would say he is more heartbroken about the proposals
    Chrissie
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    cthornley wrote:
    :lol::lol::lol:
    Particularly funny as my husband is a very active member of the BMA (ex chair of junior docs committee).....he's a cardiologist .... and a very vocal dissenter...I think he would say he is more heartbroken about the proposals
    Chrissie

    I hope he doesn't take it to heart too much, or suffer a sense of humour bi-pass, Chrissie :!: :lol:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Or as Vera Duckworth would say...

    It's AR-TERY........ :shock: :lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    tjt6768 wrote:
    Or as Vera Duckworth would say...

    It's AR-TERY........ :shock: :lol:

    :lol::lol::lol:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have been racking my brains (doesn't take long) for a rheumatologist one. No joy. (Much like their meds.) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks del! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • cthornley
    cthornley Member Posts: 627
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Rheumatologists said it would need a joint approach to work!
    Chrissie
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,087
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am loving this thread!!

    well done you lot :grin:
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Orthopaedic surgeons said it might need to be totally replaced.

    They're very worried about the prospect of only having a skeleton staff.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joanlawson wrote:
    Orthopaedic surgeons said it might need to be totally replaced.

    They're very worried about the prospect of only having a skeleton staff.
    :lol::lol:
    you lot are whitty i cant think of anything
    well done :lol::lol:
    juliepf x
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 7. Jan 2011, 17:23
    The brain surgeons said it was giving them a few headaches and they would have to think it over.

    The physiotherapists thought their job was a stiff challenge, but they could do it at a stretch.

    Dental surgeons were pulling out all the stops to avoid filling in time.

    The respiratory specialists said that they would be trying to breathe new life into it.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • cthornley
    cthornley Member Posts: 627
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    the GP's thought it was generally practical

    the homeopaths thought measures needed diluting
    :grin:
    Chrissie
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    delboy wrote:
    The bone menders commiserated by getting plastered.

    Maxcillofacial staff said they would grin and bear it.

    Physiotherapists said they were already stretched to the limit.

    a065.gifa065.gif Well done, Del :!:

    The Dieticians feared that the service would have to be slimmed down, but decided to make a meal of it.

    Pharmacists complained that it would be a bitter pill to swallow.

    Speech therapists said they were lost for words about it.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    cthornley wrote:
    the GP's thought it was generally practical

    the homeopaths thought measures needed diluting
    :grin:
    Chrissie

    Great, Chrissie :lol::lol::lol:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    No! No! No! Too clever! There must be someone/some groups you have missed! Please. Let there be. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 7. Jan 2011, 18:06
    Occupational therapists are already devising activities to rehabilitate it.

    Hospital cleaners will be mopping up the mess the NHS is in. ( scraping the barrel now :!: :lol::lol: )

    Joan :grin:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The Intensive Care doctors said that they would attempt to resuscitate it.

    The Casualty Department said it was an accident waiting to happen.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The Podiatrists said we all had to toe the line, and the hand specialists had their fingers in the pie.

    Annie
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The secretaries filed the proposals and promptly lost them.
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's a mad world we live in, Del :shock: :shock:

    The phlebotomists said it was all a bloody mess.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif

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