Bad couple of weeks

stephiey Member Posts: 61
edited 31. Jan 2011, 08:58 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi all, hope you're doing ok in this awful weather.

As you can tell by the title this isn't a happy post. It started last week when I had my MRI scan on my hips, everything went fine and later that day I got a call from my rheumatologist telling me I was pregnant. I seriously thought it was a joke but it wasn't and I was so excited. 4 days later (last Sunday) I was having a lot of pain and my boyfriend of nearly 4 and a half years was really worried and was moaning at me to go to the hospital. I've got used to any kind of pains so I didn't go. I woke up during the night in a ridiculous amount of pain and bleeding heavily. My boyfriend is devastated. I went to the doctors on Monday and they confirmed I had miscarried. Last march I also had a miscarriage which I haven't told anyone except my boyfriend. I've been put on anti-depressants and told to try and relax. I have college work due, Uni interviews to go to and more stress of Arthur on my shoulders. I am so heartbroken right now. I know I'm young but I know I was born to be a mum. I just have no idea what I'm going to do if I can't be one. I know there isn't a lot that you can say to make this better but I just needed to tell someone and I know you're all supportive and I really hope that maybe you can support me.
Thanks for reading, hope you're all well.
Lots of love


  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi stephiey i am so sorry to here this it must be awfull for you sending loads of (((hugs))) to help you through these hard times please try to stay positive i feel sure you will be a mum and a great one at that it might help if you let uni know what you are going through they have to make allowances at such times you need to morn for your little one it was real to you even if for such a short time take care here if you need us val
  • Poppyg1rl
    Poppyg1rl Member Posts: 1,245
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Stephiey,
    I'm so sorry, ive been there, 3 times.
    Val made some excellent suggestions as usual, do tell Uni it's something they need to know.
    All I can say is, cry, scream, talk as much as you feel able to, it's awful when you don't realise you are expecting and then...
    You will get through it, be kind to yourself, take it easy, talk to your boyfriend he will be hurting too.
    I wish you so much love my dear, all the best Poppy x
    Ps if you want to PM me feel free, I can chat if you need to talk.
    'grá agus solas'
    'Love and Light' translated from Irish. X
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am sorry too Steph. I did lose a babe at around 6 weeks in 2002, just after losing my mum and my son being diagnosed as autistic when he was 2 and a half. I was shocked and upset and confused, wondered why it had happened, if it was the R.A as I still took meds(but not MTX or humira). But there was no one to talk to. People clam up and you don't get comforted yet I found it devastating.
    So my heart goes out to you at your loss.
    I had my daughter an exact year later.

    Elizabeth xx
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • coco67
    coco67 Member Posts: 2,374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Steph, there is nothing i can say to take away your pain, im so sorry to hear your news it is devastating and realy knocks you when this happens, please do not give up hope of one day being a mum i had several miscarrages and now have 3 healthy kids so it can still happen. take time to adjust to what has happened and be kind to yourself, sending you hugs.

    coco xx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Stephanie
    You poor love, I am so glad you are happy to talk to us, because we are here for you, I now recommend that you get some pampering, and some much needed rest...then you can fight another day....and you will.
    Sending you loads of hugs ((((((()))))) and love
    Barbara xx
  • chris7
    chris7 Bots Posts: 2,696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00

    So so sorry to see this news and to feel your heartbreak. Take one day at a time and know we are listening when you need us. Look after yourself and I sincerely hope you will get your wish one day.
    Gentle hugs ((( )))
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Stephanie, I am so sorry to hear what has happened, it is such a terrible thing, I do hope that you are both ok.. My Sis-Inlaw went through something similar almost two years ago, she is now a proud Mum of a beautiful baby girl who we all adore... Don't give up hope, it will happen for you..
    Hope you continue to post on the forum, it is a very good support mechanism..

    Be as well as you can be hun..

    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • ironic
    ironic Member Posts: 2,361
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aw bless you Stephanie, I am so, so sorry to hear that. I know you are both devastated and there is nothing I can say to ease the pain that you are in.
    Take care of each other give yourselves chance to grieve.
    Gentle hugs to you both,
    Lv, Ix
  • seamonkey
    seamonkey Member Posts: 323
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Stephanie,
    I just want to say you have my every sympathy and i would give you a hug if i could. You have suffered a huge loss again and you need to give yourself time to grieve for what could have been. Do you have any close friends or family you could talk to? Some people can be quite unsympathetec so i understand why you might be keeping this quiet.
    Im very glad you have your boyfriend to support you. Try not to do too much. Cry and shout about the injustice of it all when you have your boyfriend there for you.
    Im sure you will be a mum some time in the future i have had 3 myself and now have 4 lovely children. Although having children wont take away the pain of your miscarriages they are such a blessing.
    Best wishes to you and i hope you enjoy motherhood when the time comes.
    Seamonkey X