The Mysteries of Life

joanlawson

Here are some of the mysteries of life. Can you solve any of them :?:

1. Why does each decade take a different amount of time to complete? From 0 to 10 years old goes slowly; from 10 to 20 takes ages; from 20 to 30 quick - and then the acceleration really kicks in. Is the earth spinning faster on its axis?

2. How does a cow know it's not a butterfly dreaming it is a cow?

3. Why is it that when you go to park your car in a totally empty car park, someone ALWAYS pulls in next to your vehicle?

4. What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?

5. How does the non-stick material stick to the pan?

6. Why does the phone ring as soon as I get in the shower? Why does somebody knock on the door just as I go to the loo?

7. Why are buses and trains always running late, yet when I'm running late they are on time and I miss them?

8. If the universe is expanding and the universe is all there is, what is it expanding into?

9. Why does a toothache always happen on a Saturday or Sunday when all dentists are closed?

10. Why is the road always clear while you're getting into the car, and putting your seatbelt on, but incredibly busy the moment you start to back out of the driveway?

11. Why does your new appliance always break down, two days after the warranty expires?

12. How come no-one has minted a 99p coin? Everything seems to cost £1.99, £2.99, 99p.

13. Why do advertisers make choosing a brand of toothpaste seem like a life altering decision?

14. Why is a spread-out newspaper or magazine of no interest to my cat until I start reading it - then he sits on the bit I am reading?

Any answers gratefully received

Joan

PamieAFC1903

1 - its something to do with the earth spinning.

2 - cows are smarter than you think

3 - because people think they got a space ill get one too

4 - it just waits for you

5 - non-stick hasnt been proven

6 - Because people love to be awkward

7 - Karma!

8 - A Black Hole!

9 - your teeth have tiny brains and knows these things

10 - dont know as i live in a quiet street

11 - Cause it doesnt last longer than the warrenty

12 - Costs more than 99p

13 - gain more money

14 - because cats like to read, just not the same part as you.


Hope ye like my answers be weird if some of them are ture though lmao

jacqmun

delboy wrote:

1. Why does each decade take a different amount of time to complete? From 0 to 10 years old goes slowly; Busy learning and growing into your body from 10 to 20 takes ages; Party time from 20 to 30 quick Having the time of your life- and then the acceleration really kicks in. You've been married umpteen years and can't wait to die

2. How does a cow know it's not a butterfly dreaming it is a cow?
A. How do you know the cow isn't actually a butterfly?
3. Why is it that when you go to park your car in a totally empty car park, someone ALWAYS pulls in next to your vehicle?
A. They need someone to blame for the dent in their door.



4. What does an occasional table do the rest of the time?
A. When you're not looking it's actually a chair

5. How does the non-stick material stick to the pan?
A. The other side is sticky like Fablon

6. Why does the phone ring as soon as I get in the shower? You need a tinfoil hat to prevent the callers reading your mindWhy does somebody knock on the door just as I go to the loo? Learn to close the curtains

7. Why are buses and trains always running late, yet when I'm running late they are on time and I miss them?
A. There are no such things as accurate bus/train timetables, live with it.

8. If the universe is expanding and the universe is all there is, what is it expanding into?
A. Cargo hold 3 on Starship Voyager

9. Why does a toothache always happen on a Saturday or Sunday when all dentists are closed?
A. The ache started Thursday but you ignored it hoping it would go away.

10. Why is the road always clear while you're getting into the car, and putting your seatbelt on, but incredibly busy the moment you start to back out of the driveway?
A. Never reverse onto a road, if you cant reverse onto your drive surrender your licence.

11. Why does your new appliance always break down, two days after the warranty expires?
A.You ignored the warning signs hoping the problem would resolve itself

12. How come no-one has minted a 99p coin? Everything seems to cost £1.99, £2.99, 99p.
A. Because it would cost a pound to make

13. Why do advertisers make choosing a brand of toothpaste seem like a life altering decision?
A. You spend too much time analysing TV adverts

14. Why is a spread-out newspaper or magazine of no interest to my cat until I start reading it - then he sits on the bit I am reading?
A.The litter tray needs emptying

Love it!!!!
Jacqui x

mirabella

Always rely on you Dellboy for chuckle of the day thanks Mirabella

fayrose

Ah now No.3 is interesting. 8)

I always wondered about that when I was a non driver. Once I became a driver I realised that parking is SO much easier if you have something to line up with. Simple

joanlawson

Hi all, and thank you for your replies. I enjoyed reading Pamie's and Del's answers

joanlawson

fayrose wrote:

Ah now No.3 is interesting. 8)

I always wondered about that when I was a non driver. Once I became a driver I realised that parking is SO much easier if you have something to line up with. Simple

I think it's the herding instict :!:

tjt6768

It's only the wimmin drivers that do it, they think it's safety in numbers... Lol
:shock:

PamieAFC1903

Gota gie me some credit i made my answers whilst still in pain from burning my arm lmao

joanlawson

tjt6768 wrote:

It's only the wimmin drivers that do it, they think it's safety in numbers... Lol
:shock:

Tony :!: :shock:

tjt6768

haha.... Trust you Joan, that's very sexist!! Lol
Surely the wumman should have a pinny on for a start, and a beer in her hand for the bloke...!! :eek: :eek: :shock:

joanlawson

Sexist :?: No, just putting you in your place, young man :!:

fayrose

tjt6768 wrote:

It's only the wimmin drivers that do it, they think it's safety in numbers... Lol

Oi, not so, :eek: I learnt it from 'him indoors'

tjt6768

He must drive like a wumman then :shock: :eek:

I am not sexist, I just believe that wedding dresses are white to match the appliances and wimmin have small feet so they can get nearer to the sink!!!
:eek: :eek: :shock:

Oh boy am I in bother now, lol.....

fayrose

tjt6768 wrote:

He must drive like a wumman then :shock: :eek:

I am not sexist, I just believe that wedding dresses are white to match the appliances and wimmin have small feet so they can get nearer to the sink!!!
:eek: :eek: :shock:

Oh boy am I in bother now, lol.....

:eek: oooooh, good job you're not within reach .. :green ....

tjt6768

Why, would you hit me with a kitchen implement?? :eek: :eek:

To say I couldn't even lift a shovel I can do a great job of digging a big hole for myself eh?

Haha

joanlawson

tjt6768 wrote:

Why, would you hit me with a kitchen implement?? :eek: :eek:

To say I couldn't even lift a shovel I can do a great job of digging a big hole for myself eh?

Haha

You sure can, Tony

tjt6768

I didn't realise you were filming me Joan, I hope you won't show it to the DLA people!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
They kick you off if you can fart without crying in pain these days... :eek:

PamieAFC1903

tjt6768 wrote:

I didn't realise you were filming me Joan, I hope you won't show it to the DLA people!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
They kick you off if you can fart without crying in pain these days... :eek:

least you can get DLA

tjt6768

I'd rather be healthy! 8) :shock: :eek: