I'm having one of those days...

traluvie
traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
edited 17. Feb 2011, 11:46 in Living with Arthritis archive
Afternoon all...

Just felt the need to post and have a rant..I am having one of those days where i feel soory for myself,, i need to let off some steam and then have a kick up the jacksy and i'll be all fine and dandy lol..

As most of you are aware i am 31 with 2 lovely children and 3 staffy's..
I was diagnosed with RA and OA last week through bone scan results..
I went to doctor today to talk through my diagnosis and the next step forward..
She was impressed that i had organised my opticians(needed to be done before going on Hydroxy) appointment and physio before seeing her.This made me feel good then she had to dampen my spirits lol...She asked how i was managing... i explained i am really struggling with walking.. i can walk for about 20 mins and my ankles hurt and my right ankle really swells and i struggle walking on it...I explained how the kids have been a great help and support when my hands are sore and i need things doing..
She said she was going to contact occupational therapy to get them to come round and see me..
After talking about the side effects of hydroxy and bloods and more tablets to take with other tablets lol i finally left to go to the chemist.. once there i was waiting with my ankles throbbing smiling and chatting to the lady behind the counter(keeping my mind occupied) When the pharmacist came out with my big paper bag of tablets i was like whoa is that all for me lol... She asked about if i had taken hdroxy before i said no and she was very nice explaining all about it and the signs to look out for.. she also mentioned some organisations i could talk to as it must be hard for someone as young as me.. I thanked her for advice and mentioned that i had joined a forum and had met some great people on here and it has helped me alot..
As i limped to the bus stop reality kind of hit me about the situation i am in.. kind of hit me hard in the face today and i realise i need to accept it really as it's not going to get much better.. just a bit hard at the moment with everything being so fresh and new...
I will get there though... just ned a kick up the jacksy and maybe a big hug lol...
Thanks for listening..
th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx

Comments

  • caterina57
    caterina57 Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Tracy
    First here is a big hug for you. Next- you need to understand that you need to come to terms with your daignosis, it will take time and it has been a big shock for you. But you are strong-- dont forget it and you have 2 wonderful kids and a good partner who will give you love and support
    and---- you have 3 lovely dogs to snuggle up to on the bad days. You have to remember that you have now got a diagnosis and treatment and you also have the hydrotherapy to look forward to, there may be days when you are not good but there may be days in the future that you feel fantastic once the meds kick in, spring is around the corner, and once the better weather arrives that will brighten your spirits. And dont forget..... you have all of us here to rant at whenever you feel the need.

    Cath
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Cath...

    Your right spring is just round the corner, so i will be able to sit in the garden with a cup of tea and read a book.. have lots of new books to get through lol...
    I do realise i am one of the fortunate ones who have been diagnosed quickly and strted treatment...So i should stop feeling sorry for myself and snap out of it lol... :lol:
    I know i'll be ok i am a strong person.. i am just having a moment lol..
    Thanks for listening..xxx
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • caterina57
    caterina57 Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    No Problem Tracy, sound off anytime, we all have low days with fear and trepidation but we can also have really good days too!
    Cath
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi tracy
    Hope you feel better now that you have shared your thoughts.
    A big bag of meds is a shock, I do hope you have a pre paid prescription card, you will find it does save alot of money.
    I started RA at 25 just after the birth of my daughter so I can understand the struggle you are having with two young children.
    Hopefully when your meds start working properly it will be a bit easier for you.
    Take care
    Juliepf x ps A Hug for you (((((((((((()))))))))))
  • ironic
    ironic Member Posts: 2,361
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Tracy,
    I does hit home when you actually see the medication. Give yourself time to get used to the idea then pick a day to start them. It is a shock, just hang on in there until you realise that you are still you. Hold on to that thought.
    My optician told me that it is rare to have eye problems with Hydroxy but it is best to have an annual check up. I have been on it for about 18 mths and have had no problems with it so fingers crossed you will be like me.
    The physio appointment will show you ways of how to save your joints from being strained. It will give you more independence in the long run.
    Once the medication starts working you WILL feel so much better in yourself. Pace yourself as it does take time to get into your system.
    Lots of gentle hugs,
    Lv, Ix
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It is a shock and it is a blow. I am so used to coming out of the chemist with a carrier bag of stuff I tend to forget that for someone new to it all it is a slap in the face. The last thing you need right now is a kick up the backside - you need some TLC, both self-administered and from others. Your life has changed, and not for the better. Be kind to yourself. It's early days, take things slow and easy. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for your kind wods and hugs...
    I feel better for airing my thoughts..
    Tomorrow is a new day.. so i hoping with an increase in my ampitriptyline i may get a better nights sleep and start afresh tomorrow...
    It doesn't help when you get told to stop being silly... am i being silly?? lol
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Tracy
    You are certainly not being silly my love, by talking to us lot you can unburden yourself a little.
    Its must be such a shock for you, and having to take all this in is not easy, but like DD says take things slowly, you have a lovely family to concentrate on.
    Believe me you will get there,I do think that the early days are the worst when you are not sure what is going on.
    Sending you lots of hugs (((((())))
    Love
    Barbara xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I don't know who is telling you to stop being silly, but they may not truly understand what you are facing. You are not being silly, you need time to adjust. Make sure you take the time you need. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • madwestie
    madwestie Member Posts: 383
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Tracy, don't be too hard on yourself we are all allowed days when everything seems too much you are just getting used to it. I have had it for 4 years and still have those days sometimes.
    Like DD i too come out of the chemist with a carrier bag (to be honest bursting at the seams) but I laugh everytime i go in and the assistant looks for my meds i says it will be a big one and she looks through the larger paper bags so i have to say it will be a carrier bag, and she looks at me strangely (I am 43) then finds it.
    I try to find the bright side of most things and with the meds i think well at least i am getting my money's worth out of my pre paid prescription.

    You are strogn and will find the way that helps you best and then some days you will just need to sound off so feel free.

    tracey
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    I don't know who is telling you to stop being silly, but they may not truly understand what you are facing. You are not being silly, you need time to adjust. Make sure you take the time you need. DD

    I think it is because they see me as a strong person who keeps picking themselves back up..so why not now lol...
    I will get there.. like you say DD in my own time, i will not wallow in self pit lol... i will keep smiling and accept and adjust slowly...
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Tracey ..

    I am quite humorous myself always smiling and laughing(not as much recently lol)..
    So i am sure in time i will be able to see the funny side of things and make a laugh and joke..
    Great to have support from everyone.. really helps...
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • katie5
    katie5 Member Posts: 242
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    just want to send a you a big hug. I was 21yrs when i started with OA and was so scared - still am - but my hubby, kids and now you guys all help to make it more bearable I'm so glad I found you all :smile:

    you are a strong person but sometimes you need a good cry, a big hug and then you're back on track.

    take care and take it easy.

    Katie x
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Tracy
    It's a new day and although still cold the sun is shining, hopefully it is where you are too.
    I hope this makes you feel much better today. Keep smiling.
    Juliepf x
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    julie47 wrote:
    Hi Tracy
    It's a new day and although still cold the sun is shining, hopefully it is where you are too.
    I hope this makes you feel much better today. Keep smiling.
    Juliepf x

    Thanks Julie..

    Certainly is a nice sunny morning.. i overslept because i upped my dose of amptriptyline.. but my OH sorted the kids and brought me my tea n tabs in bed..
    New day, new start...
    Thanks all u been a great help..
    Your all stars
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • alarkra
    alarkra Member Posts: 213
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Tracy!

    First of all ((((((((((BIG HUG)))))))))). The situation is really hard to get your head around. I mean, you've seen by my recent posts, I'm still not dealing with it all that well (denial is awesome but pretty unhealthy to be honest!) and I don't think that anyone expects someone who has been recently diagnosed to simply accept the situation and carry on as before. It's great that your family are being so supportive and understanding and this will help you along, especially on the days when it is really tough.

    Lovely that your day has started better today. Hope you have time to sit in the sunshine and get a warm hug from it too. 8) :grin:

    xx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Traluvie, I hope you have a better day today. It must be horrible to be diagnosed when you so many responsibilities. I got my diagnosis before marriage, kids etc so went into it all with my eyes open. I can tell you that, yes, it was b..... difficult a lot of the time in lots of different ways but just take each problem as it comes, make the most of friends and family and you'll get there. My own two are 40 & 37 now, probably more caring than they would have been without an arthritic mum and the elder one is now a brilliant Dad. Wish you all the best.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Tracy

    Just seen your post from yesterday. Oh it is such a shock to begin with, so much to take in without the added indignity of carrier bags full of meds from the pharmacy!!! But, from your posts, you seem to be a really strong person and have a good sense of humour, both of which will help to carry you through. But please don't ever feel you are being silly, or that you can't admit to struggling with things - particularly not on here where we all understand how it is. As to getting your head round your diagnosis, in my experience it's not just a one-off "right, that's it" but rather a gradual understanding which comes with time.

    Thinking of you - and good luck with the Hydroxy. Really hope it helps.

    Love Tillyxxx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,839
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Tracy

    Sorry I only just saw this thread :oops: I am so sorry about your diagnosis - well I am, but so glad you will now be able to get some treatment and maybe it will help.

    I have been on hydroxy for a few years now and it has been fine for me - I hope it will be for you too.

    I am also hoping that you ahve got your head arouind all this now and that you will be able to start to get your life back more the way you want it.

    Lots of love and ((((((((((((())))))))))))

    Toni xx
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi tracy
    Still thinking of you

    juliepf x
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    julie47 wrote:
    Hi tracy
    Still thinking of you

    juliepf x


    Thanks Julie.. am not too bad.. having a gd day arthur wise so that helps lol... feeling a bit sickly and work have done my head in.. other than that i ok lol....
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx