How We Are Viewed By Some

elainebadknee

Hi

A few weeks back my local paper put in an article saying they wished to charge blue badge holders for parking. At present i can park in bays for 3 hours, can go into pay and display and not pay either...They are wishing to change the hours we can use the 3 hr bay to 11pm - 9am and other unsocialble times......The paper asked how this was viewed by townfolk....
So i logged on and stated that people who had mobility problems needed to be able to be nearer shops and needed the larger bays for room/access.....I wasnt really stating my case so much but more the case of other worse off....What came next was truly shocking and not just aimed at me, but others, so in the end I refused to take part in this what I thought was a sensible discussion, but was nothing so and removed my username and put in complaints....
There was vile comments such as all BB holders drive big, flash cars, all new, that if someone drove a disbaled person and displayed a BB while assisiting that person they were "stopping GENUINE disbaled people from getting parking spaces", others had confronted BB holders who had wrongly parked in parent and child, which I dont agree with but the attitude the questioner took was that if they had seen this done then they would do it back to any other BB holder they came across, other comments such as why does a slight limp qualify for a BB (the person had had joint replacement surgery).......The horrid, ignorant comments came raining down and though people tried to point out valid points they were ignored and awful things were said......
I was thoroughly ashamed of these people and though its sad I think its a bigger issue than we estimate it to be.......Makes you think dont it.....???I did comment I hoped the awful commentators never had a disbality themselves or their loved ones/friends did but that made no impact.......

Elainex

coco67

its very sad but this is how were viewed, i try and avoid saying im suffering with arther as ive been met with comments like .....your to young to be a cripple......i supose you will be loaded with the benifits soon......etc etc. yet if say im limping and i just say i fell over whilst out drinking its seen as ok and offers of help are freely given :x ......People!!!!!

bubbles

Hi Elaine, it is sad, but, as you say, very true, that some people see us as pure scroungers, who don't deserve a badge to enable us to park nearer to a shop and partake in what is a perfectly normal activity. I have had "looks" and comments from people, people I have not met in a long time, who say things like "what's with the crutches"? "what are you doing in a buggy"

Well, how long have you got and would you be interested anyway? No, they wouldn't

One person said, oh, so when will it get better then - oh dear, are people so stupid.

The tabloids have a lot to answer for, taring us with one brush, as if we choose to be ill and disabled as a lifestyle, purely milking the system. It makes me mad, well, it did, now, I just think you ignorant, small minded uneducated person. They would soon be screeching for a badge if they had to put up with half the problems we have. Let them moan, they think is scores them brownie points with the other readers, you see it all the time on the comments in the chip wrapper newspapers. Don't let the bu***rs get you down, we are better than that, educated, self aware and more than anything, we care about others who suffer, we don't berate them.

Airwave!

This is a very sad reflection on our society, those who pass ill informed comments to the detriment of those who suffer from on-going medical conditions are, I believe, in a minority. Their belief may be fostered by greed, avarice, or just plain ignorance of others, who knows?

There is a belief in this country that everyone shall have the same or better than the next man and that this is a right, fostered by a society driven by financial gain, witness behavior in the streets and mans cruelty to man. Media has a part to play in this, a fast changing world where nothing is permanent and attitudes change as swiftly without thinking on their antecedents. No attempt seems to be made to stop the rise and rise of a right to something for nothing, witness all the game shows and those who proclaim 'I really want this more than anything else', even to those with no talent or ability, contentment is not something our society mentions. Perhaps D. Cameron is right when he says we should all give our time for our country and build a better society?

The comments you have received may have been a backlash against those using the BB system wrongly, it doesn't sound as though public spiritedness was their first concern?

8) Its a grin, honest!

elainebadknee

Yes Coco

And ive heard all those comments myself before, i guess till youre in another situation then you dont realise how it is but I would never condem someone for having a disability....

Elainex

elainebadknee

Hi

I know...I had a dirty look just the other week from a bloke I went to school with as I got out of my car...I just stared back at him with menace too and thought about asking him what his problem was but thought better...

The people who ask "when are you getting better" are just plain uneducated from my experience, someone asked that at a hydro pool about a young chap who was paralysed from neck down??? She was silly though and I mean that honestly...

Media plays a part yes but they never seem to represent the genuine ones often enough....

Elainex

elainebadknee

Hi Airwave

Well what I found was that on this forum a few certain people liked to wind people up and name calling was done too which I rung up the paper about, saying they hadnt moderated it very well but they seemed very lax...So it seems that was their enjoyment, getting home from work and putting deflammatory comments on net for a repsonse...SAD!!!

It shocked me though the viciousness of the comments and the level of ignorance...

Elainex

cherrybim

I'm sorry that you've had such bad experiences Elaine, it must be very harrowing for you.

I've never met with any nasty comments, indeed the absolute opposite. Kind people, including those with enough to cope with such as Mums with pushchairs have stopped to offer a hand. The help works both ways though. Sometimes when the Mums want to nip over to another stall in the market for example I've been trusted to keep cave over the pushchair and the little babe (providing of course that there's a perch to sit on ) It gives me a sense of usefulness in my old age and helps the Mums.

Well there you go. I'm a born and bred Sussexer but I'm sure it's the same in other parts of the country

Cherry x

seamonkey

some people!
I have come home from the shop or work and said to my OH that i should put a plaster cast on my leg! Then people wouldnt make stupid ignorant comments. No im not pretending/making it up. I would much rather not have to use a crutch to get about, not be in incesant pain 24 hrs a day, not have my children help me with basic caring, and be able to work to provide things for my family. Im not recieveing any benefits not even sick pay and dont have much of an idea when doc will sign to say i can go back to work. Those people who think its a walk in the park and that everyone who has a disability gets government financial help are wrong! I don not begrudge those who do. im glad they do as i can see what a huge help this would be day to day. We have had to tighten our budget and already im sick of saying to my children " no we cant afford that jut now" for simple things and have cut back on food.
Ignoring these people is not easy!
Seamonkey

sharrie

here here seamonkey - it's infuriating, to think that the folk who need it don't seem to get the help and the ones who do get money from the state are seen as scroungers, as well "you don't look as though there is anything wrong with you" !!!!!! How many times, I have got fed up trying to justify too to people who just have no idea. Shame though that's how society seems to choose to perceive disabled people, when like everyone else, not everyone is the same and taking advantage, the ones who are genuinely ill are not at all covered in press- shocking but true.
And I'm not the one with Arther it's my partner! But I'm equally as peeved for him and everyone else who has to endure what he does and all that abuse too. Funny though he is so much better than me at letting that go and focusing on what counts, managing his condition as well as poss, but hard, so hard the impact on daily living. I totally understand, its tough you take care, you have a better morality than those who are clueless xx

elainebadknee

Hi Cherry

Well its not so much bad experiences...I mean on the whole people are lovely, one man even took my arm the other week when i hesitated crossing a busy junction and said "come on we will go together".....I just was shocked on this papers forum and as im not allowed to say which one it is i will just say im from mountaineers sustanence town?
Have to say at moment with half term its a lottery going into shops/town at all...Kids just seem to run around at a rate of knotts and the little ones dont know better but the teenagers who mess about and mock fight are the ones that you have to dodge....
Like i say woorst ive had has been dirty looks and most i give them back when im feeling fiesty!!! No matter where you live there's all sorts of folk!

Elainex

elainebadknee

Hi Seamonkey

I think some people just dont think before they engage their brain!! I mean you wouldnt use a mobility aid unlless you needed it would you, not exactly an essential accessory is it? Im afriad i would only take so much then would explode at someone in a matter of time...
Have to say it sounds like youre doing a great job in your day-to-day life...You sound like you should be getting help from government financially but knowing them theyd rather give it to some criminal who has bludgeoned someone n got a whack back nowadays...

Elainex

tkachev

They recently took away about 6 disabled parking bays from Uxbridge and allocated them for taxi's use only. On Monday we drove round to the taxi bays and they were all empty. There were 2 empty taxi's parked on the other side in the remaining disabled bays.

Elizabeth

seamonkey

Thank you elaine, i am not counting on getting any help financially that way i wont be disapointed. The wole system is just wrong, peoples attitudes, descision making from the government. trouble is financially its supposed to get a whole lot worse in the next 2 years.
I was in town yesterday and had to stop at a cafe for a rest as there is no benches etc anywhere for me to rest on. The council took them away so that teenagers and drunks couldnt sit on them all day. Im sure the vast majority would let me sit down if i asked politely and said thank you. It cost me £2.20 which would nearly have been 2 dinner monies for kids. Some folk are what i would call positive citizens, others unfortunately ar not.
Seamonkey

elainebadknee

Hi Seamonkey
Well i get where youre coming from on the financial help but it shouldnt be that way....My ex was one of those who when she was out of work wouldnt at fiirst claim jobseekers till i pestered the life out of her....I mean sometimes with some people its a matter of swallowing their pride....
Its a shame in where you live too that a minority group of vandals have ruined things such as benches etc for others who would find them useful to use......
I think the worst thing ive experienced was when i went to lancaster to new look and unfortunately some stuff i wanted to look at was upstairs, they had a lift up and stairs down. There was quite a lot of them too and as i set my way tentatively down a mum and some teenage girls pushed past me, nearly making me lose my balance...The girls i could account for, the mum not so I shouted a her "dont make it any harder for me please"....Im afraid she either ignored me or was oblivious that she had been quite reckless....
Most of time its fine...

Elainex