Arthritis and pregnancy

Ema123

Hi

I would like to have children within the next few years but am really scared about passing on my rhematoid arthritis. I spoke to my consultant about this and he said he would never advise women with the illness against having a family. He said that it can be genetic, something like 20% and you rarely see the pattern of grandmother, daughter, grandchild having it, it usually skips generations.

I found out recently that my great grandmother had it but I am the only one in my family with the illness. Please can you help me to try and get my head around making this very difficult decision. I would feel so horribly guilty if I had a child and they developed this awful illness.

Thanks.

dreamdaisy

Only you can decide what you want to do. I wish you well. DD

tillytop

Hello - and welcome to the forum.

Oh this is SUCH a difficult decision isn't it? There are so many factors to take into consideration aren't there - from, as you say, passing on the RA, to whether or not you will be well enough to care for them.

I don't think there is an easy answer and, as DD says, it really is a decision that only you can take based on the information available to you.

Really good luck with whatever you decide.

Love Tilly xxx

cthornley

Hi

Its a toughy ...actually the subject of kids is tough enough without RA but that’s what we’ve got so that’s what we’ve got to deal with

As everyone has said its something I’m afraid you and your partner are going to have to ultimately decide (I know why I hated that part too...no one would give me a magic answer to those difficult questions)

Personally I can only tell you what I felt....Although I worried about this, we decided to go ahead anyway as there are so many what ifs, buts, maybes and the only thing we were actually sure of was that we would quite like children
I am the only person in my family with RA , so I was pretty confident that it was unlikely to be hereditary and the risks would be even less likely if I had a boy . I was worried about the effects of my medication on pregnancy, my ability to cope without them (even for a limited amount of time), my ability to cope with having a baby physically, the effect of pregnancy on my RA – and after talking to my rubbish rheumy at the time I was even less confident about going ahead than before. However a very supportive GP got me an appointment with a specialist obstetrician, and held my hand through the decision process (yes its weird discussing such a usually personal decision with such a wide group of people....even weirder when your husband is a dr and knows some of these people professionally and personally)
We decided to go ahead and now we have a very bouncy, healthy and noisy 2yr old,

So far it seems he may have inherited my husband’s asthma but all he seems to have from me is blond hair, blue eyes and a stubborn slightly wicked personality :roll: . I know that there’s a risk he may still develop RA (mine didn’t raise its ugly head til I was 19) but I wouldn’t swap him for the world, I will just be on the look out for any indicators and be on top of it and support him if it ever looks like hes going to have a problem. But thinking positively HE WON’T!!!!

Sorry thats a bit of ramble and there is something useful you can pick out of that
Chrissie

julie47

Hi ema123
I have no advice, just want to say good luck with whatever you decide.
Take care
Juliepf x

stickywicket

It is, indeed a tough one. Forty years ago it was much easier. My consultant told me R.A. was unlikely to be hereditary, I believed him, had two kids. They’re now 40 and 37 and not an arthritic bone between them. Best thing(s) I ever did.

However, although the first pregnancy was great, the second was a ****. And, although most adults will make allowances for your arthritis and try to help, your young toddler will exploit his advantage to the full.

I was lucky enough to have a great husband, a neighbour with an ever open door and a Mum who came over once a week to help out.

It has to be your decision, Ema123. Good luck with it.

frogmorton

Emma

I have sent you a personal message.

Whatever you decide if you want our support we will all be behind you.

Love

toni xx

jenzie06

Hiya
I know exactly how you feel. We had all these worries before considering proceeding with a pregnancy. You get the 'normal' worries of becoming parents then a whole heap more. There's a book that may help - 'arthritis, pregnancy and the path to parenthood' by Suzie Edward May. I found that it helped with a lot of questions.
Plus the Disabled Parents Network might be able to help as well as put you in touch with others in a similar position or who have been through the same thing.

If it makes any difference my rheumy consultant told me that the risk of passing it on was about 5%. We considered with all the other illnesses that could 'possibly' be passed on which are in our families genetic makeup then the risk was worth the benefit. We now have an extremely active 10 month old boy.

I was more concerned about being able to cope with the baby and I managed to get a care package from my local council through the adult care services (Disabled Parents Network can help with this). With this I am able to employ my mum to help me care for Harry.

Good luck with what you decide, it's tough but in my mind I wouldn't let the RA rule my life.

Jen

joann1

Hiya

It is such a difficult decision to make about having children when you are fit and healthy but to add on the factor of having R/A it can make it such a daunting decision, only you and your husband/partner can make that and im sure you will make the right decision for yourselves.
i no about 2 and a half years ago when i spoke to my first consultant he said that he would never advise me not to have children and that i would be fine doing so yet when he referred me to another consultant same speciality he advised that it would not be a good idea ( i have O/A in both knees) as the extra weight would make my condition alot worse therfore falling alot more, which in hindsight i new he was right i would have spent more time in hospital for injuries that i would have at home, ive had an op to try and fix the worst affected knee which only leaves my left knee to be fixed which to me well in my head means i can get pregnant but try telling that to my other half that conversation we had with the consultant has pretty much put my mammy days well and truely to bed.
Jo-Ann