finding it all a bit much

spacey

morning all,
I am feeling a little blue today. After my morning stiffness has gone which thankfully the celeberx is helping me alot with, I generally feel okish until I have to walk any distance. After 5 minutes into the walk to school the pain starts in both buttocks and travels down the back of both legs stopping behind my knees, and then it is with me all day. I do fair much better when hubby is off an can do this for me. I work two 6 hour shifts a week and worked yesterday. Well after an hour at work I really struggle with the constant gnawing pain until I fall asleep. I am so tired my arms feel unable to cope with any activity not to mention the fact that my legs feel barely able to get me to the end of the road. I feel an inadequate mummy as I sometimes loose my sense of humour and my tolerance and am just so fed up with not being me. At work or even visiting people it takes up so much of my energy and effort just to get ready and get there, then I end up struggling to keep the smiles on. I know everyone here will understand how I feel thats why I can get it off my chest here. No one can see my pain or misery or understand it so I find it best to keep it to myself.
any way on a better note am now wearing my new powerband which apparently has frequencies in a hologram which work withnature to improve my well being, strength and flexibility so my plan is to wake up and be fixed and better!!!!!! ( bunkem I suspect but at this point am willing to try anything )
thanks for reading x
p.s I have probable ankylosing spondylitis, have had bolods and xrays and am now waiting for an MRI next wednesday to confirm diagnosis.

frogmorton

Oh Spacey :sad:

l get it....

Poor poor you - here is a ((((())))) or two for you...I hope they help a wee bit.

You are stuck in that awful in-betweeny place where something i wrong and you need it confirmed to get the right treatment.

It IS hard to keep smiling when all you can think of is pain, ( have you tried a tens machine at all?), there are times when I can only think of my pain and find it almost impossible to listen to or care much about others issues and then of course feel guilty about THAT!

Luckily those days are sooo much less often now I and on my medication and have this forum to share my problems with.

Use us wednesday is not too far off - you WILL get there I promise. Not school walks sat or Sunday too.

Love

toni xx

julie47

Hi spacey
Sorry that things are really difficult at the moment, and hope that after more tests you get the medication that is right for you.

It is hard tryin to smile and be pleasant all the time. It can really wear you out. It does me too, when I meet with family members or friends I am glad when either they or I have gone home.(isn't that awful of me)
It must be harder for you as you work and you have a young child. I remember being in that same position a few years ago.

I hope the powerband works, that sounds interesting.

Take care and i am sending a hug(((((((())))))
love julie x

tjt6768

Hi Spacey... Sounds like you are having it quite rough at the minute.. I hope that they can get your treatment/meds sorted and helping you soon.. I am sure that you are a great mum, but understand full well the frustration that this rubbish brings into our lives.. I do feel the guilt when I can't do much other than rest, I know I shouldn't and am very lucky as OH is very understanding but it's just the way I am..

Anyway, I hope things start to brighten up for you soon... You know you can always rely on us to listen..

Be well

traluvie

Hi Spacey..

I am a mom too and can often feel guilty for not being able to do things like i used too.. I'm lucky my children understand when i'm suffering and tend to snuggle up to me in the bed and keep me company, which is lovely... the days i not too bad i devote my time and energy to them so they don't miss out... If there happy i'm happy and that puts the smile on my face.. It's not easy and i have days that are real tough, but i pick myself up off the floor, brush myself off and start again lol.. it can get a bit tiring at times, which is why the forum is so great, your right we all understand how ones feeling so we never have to feel alone..
I hope you get a firm diagnosis soon so you can start appropiate treatment.. It feels so much better in a way when you know what the problem is and that you are on the road to try an ease your symptoms..
Hope you are not waiting to long..
Thinking of you.
Keep us posted..

woodbon

Hi, I am 55 and don't have any children, but my husband is very good about helping. It does make me feel guilty, so I can understand how you feel. Pain also is very lowering and depressing and with a job as well I think you deserve a medel!
Hope all goes well with the scan and stuff, its all worrying as well for you and that makes you tired. Love Sue

chris7

Hi Spacey

Sorry you are having a blue day and I hope it did help to get it down here. Just wanted to add some very real sympathy and gentle hugs and hope that things improve for you soon. ((( ))) Good luck for Wednesday.
take care
Chris

caterina57

Hi Spacey
Sorry you have a bit of a slump going on at the moment. But when you feel like this, this is the right place to have a rant and we will always be here for you.
Cath

tillytop

Hello Spacey

I am so sorry you are struggling so much with pain and fatigue and even though there might be nothing practical we can suggest to help you, hopefully the fact that we understand is of some comfort.

Like the other peeps have said, at least once you get your scan results and have a proper diagnosis, you will be a good step further towards hopefully finding some effective meds to help you.

Thinking of you.

Tillyxxx

suzygirl

Hi, sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. Lets hope after your mri you can be put on appropiate treatemnt and will start to feel much better.

Constant pain does really grind you down, and we all get snappy. Have you spoke to your gp about types of pain relief??

Take care

spacey

thank you all so much, in my little bubble of misery its so easy to think that i am the only one but of course I am not and I feel so much better for you all understanding how i feel. Thanks again xxx