well ~ here it goes again ~ explinations and all!!

psyart

hi everyone ~ long time no see :!:

i have been reading peoples topics but just not been writing in very much :sad:

will not bore you all with details of what has been going on over the last few months but in short ~ have givin up job, have deffered from uni for a year ~ which i found very hard to do , have had major problems with my marriage , been struggling with pa and fibro, lack of concentration, lack of sleep, memory been shot to pieces, now puttin on weight ~ which is really upsetting me and now knee complaining big time. Daughter moved to london ~ miss her. And now today i ahve had a phone call telling me i have to have another medical :x Why do i need another one ~ i was only put on work support group in november :?: so now am worried about being humiliated and made to feel degraded and dibilitated again And on top of that i seem to have 'lost' my closest friends ~ one told me that there are others out there who are worst off than me ~ yes i know that ~ but i dont what to hear that when it feels like the poo is on top of me :!:

i think thats it but cant remember :!:

louise xxxx

suzygirl

Goodness, sounds as though you are really struggling on all fronts. Don't stay away this time, the forum helps!! I hope things start to improve for you soon, I know that is easy for me to say. However, the fact you have psoted is a good first step.

Take care

caterina57

Oh dear, It seems like you have had a rough time of it which I am sorry to hear, it always seems that things pile up doesn't it. Dont worry though too much, Crisis always passes eventually. I wouldn't read too much into the medical, its probably a review which I suppose that they are likely to do after 6 months or so. Friends aren't friends if they dont take you as you are warts and all so although its upsetting its not worth spending too much energy on.
Hope that things pick up soon
Cath

traluvie

Hi Louise

Sorry to hear you are not too good at the moment..
It happens to most of us, things can just get too much at times and can be really depressing..
Don't ever feel like you are on your own..
We are here to help if we can.. You can also ring the helpline too..
Hope you feel better soon.. sending you big hugs(((((X)))))

skezier

Hi Louise,

Glad you have posted flower cus was wondering how things were going for you.

Its horrible to fall out with friends. Sometimes people read us wrong and think we need a kick up the back end when we need a shoulder to offer a shoulder when really we need the kick. Other times they don't get it at all and actually don't care. maybe the friendship will survive in time? Don't burn all the bridges yet and see what happens maybe?

I don't know about the medial thing cus i know nothing about ESA but don't let it worry you and get to you as i am sure its just routine and a review type thing. They do this and you know we are fighting sweeping cuts here now all over the place. I know that doesn't help to say but I am sure you will be ok there again. Don't please let it make you feel like that cus they ain't worth it for sure!

Bless your heart your bound to miss your daughter and its bad timing just now with all the other stuff going on. I hope she likes it up there? Not sure i could, its all too big, too dirty, too noisy and too busy for me but the youngsters ain't so insular as me eh? !

maybe you see her soon?

I so hope things will improve for you soon maid. Just hang in there and wish so much I knew what to say that would help. ((((( ))))) and keep in touch please. Love Cris xxx

dorcas

Hi lovely Louise ,

I'm sorry you're having it so tough just now... but as Cris said ..so glad you've posted. :!:

We might not always have the right words but we are here to support you whatever is happening and whenever you need to share how things are.

It is hard to adjust when a grown up child moves away... my own youngest son Pip recently took up a post in Manchester Hospital and I do miss him too. It takes a bit more effort on all our parts to keep in touch but maybe you could skype and be able to chat 'face to face' that way?

I wondered if you need your meds reviewed Louise? pain and lack of sleep drag the body and mind down.. so maybe you could chat it over with your doc to see if you need a bit more pain relief or something to help you sleep?

Another ATOS medical is not what you're needing just now on top of everything else! but you know they can come out to your house to do the assessment? if your doc writes a letter to them supporting the need for you to be assessed at home then they have to consider it. It might make the process less of a strain being in your own environment rather than going through the stress of being at the cattle market waiting room at ATOS..... worth thinking about flower?

Keep posting Louise... hope that bit by bit things will ease for you.

lots love and strength

Iris xxx

julie47

oh dear louise

don't really know what to say....just that i am glad you are back....but i am so sorry for what has been happening.

So will just send a hug (((((((((()))))))))))

take care
juliepf

valval

how can we expect others to know what we need whan half the time we do not if she a true pal then she will be back with shoulder for you to cry on hugs val

seamonkey

Hi louise,
How horrible for you, struggling so much. Just isnt fair. We all know that their are folks much worse off than us, we certainly dont need so called friends telling us.
Keep posting on the forum, its helped me so much,
Tell us how your feeling,
IF your reading posts then pop a line your self, its always good to hear from varied folks,
Wishing you all the best
Seamonkey

dreamdaisy

Hi psyart, it's good to hear from you again even if the news you have to relate isn't that wonderful. I am sorry to hear that things have been rough - I hope you can find the energy to keep in touch with us as we are usually pretty good at propping duties - unlike friends in the real world who sometimes say the most hurtful things, your cyber mates do know what it is like and we can usually tell when either sympathy or a kick is required. DD

elainebadknee

Hi Louise

It sounds like youve had a heck of a lot all going on in your life all at one...But deferring from uni and giving up your job may seem like giving in, its what you need to do for the time being it just dont seem like it at moment...
You must be missing your daughter, why dont you look and see what good offers are on train fares or buses - its only an idea, may not be ideal but if its cheap be good to see her....Sorry too to hear about marriage problems....
If it helps you i am just waiting for the letter to drop through letterbox to tell me to attend a medical again as i went through process last march, turned down, appealed, got it overturned in late sept 2010 and was told would have to fill in form again and attend medical...So im in the same boat as you, every day the letter dont come its a godsend but i know it was being written or sent out about 12th march so youre not alone, I'll probably fail it again...Maybe we can compare stories???

I hope things get better and you feel a tad more brighter.....

Hugs..

Elainex

psyart wrote:

hi everyone ~ long time no see :!:

i have been reading peoples topics but just not been writing in very much :sad:

will not bore you all with details of what has been going on over the last few months but in short ~ have givin up job, have deffered from uni for a year ~ which i found very hard to do , have had major problems with my marriage , been struggling with pa and fibro, lack of concentration, lack of sleep, memory been shot to pieces, now puttin on weight ~ which is really upsetting me and now knee complaining big time. Daughter moved to london ~ miss her. And now today i ahve had a phone call telling me i have to have another medical :x Why do i need another one ~ i was only put on work support group in november :?: so now am worried about being humiliated and made to feel degraded and dibilitated again And on top of that i seem to have 'lost' my closest friends ~ one told me that there are others out there who are worst off than me ~ yes i know that ~ but i dont what to hear that when it feels like the poo is on top of me :!:

i think thats it but cant remember :!:

louise xxxx

skezier

Hi Loise,

Just dropping you in a ((((( ))))) and a hope you had a bit better day today... hey at least the sun shone for a bit and it nearly got warm.

Kinda missed you so please keep posting even if you rant cus it does help and we all need a release valve.... Remember also you have huge value to this lot here.

Iris's idea of skype is a good one and well London is only 4-5 hours away depending on traffic. It will get easier for you flower and well i still don;t know what to say but want you to know you are not ever alone or forgotten here. Another ((((( ))))) and here bit of saffron and ream.. r's saffron and r's cram of course Please keep posting Maid. love Cris xxx

julie47

Morning louise

I do hope things seem a little brighter for you today.
Sending more ((((((()))))))) hugs

love juliepf x

frogmorton

Hi Louise sorry I am late :oops:

Oh yes there may be others worse off thatn you or me, but they don't know how it is for YOU!!! No-one does but you!.

You must be so hurt by that comment I know I would be And you will be greiving for your daughter too. I bet she misses you as well you know.

On top of that your have just put your future on hold (uni) so why ever wouldn't you feel sad at the moment?

As you know when it all gets too much this is the place to come. We all care about each other so much and you have supported others so take some support from us lot too.

Love and hugs

Toni xx

PS the 'only way is up'

ironic

Hi Louise,
Oh flower it has come all at once for you. No wonder you are tired out and very down who wouldn’t be?
Firstly remember that you can and will go back to finish university so don’t put any extra pressure on yourself with that one. Can you make a special time with your daughter so you can have a nice long natter without interruption?
Ah friends they can trample as well as uplift us. Nobody knows what others are really going through and what personal mountains we are climbing.
As Iris has said may be a chat with your doctor could help with a review of your meds to help you through this awful time you are having.
Sending gentle hugs to you Louise,
Lv, Ix

dorcas

Hi Louise

Just popping by again and hoping that today has been a better day for you.

thinking of you..

(((hugs)))

Iris xxx

tkachev

Sorry so much is going wrong in your life Louise. How awful for you.Friends and lovers can say nasty, thoughtless things and it is deeply upsetting. You miss your daughter and probably need her at this difficult time. Can you phone or fb chat to her and let her know how you feel about some things or is she busy with her own life as youngsters are? My 2 daughters left home to go to further education just after my R.A kicked off and I missed their support and love. I was quite resentful and felt abandoned but never told them that because really they needed to do 'teen'stuff and move on.
You need a few people on your side.I know many on this forum will be here to listen if needed.At the moment it seems you need a lot of support.

Regards
Elizabeth

psyart

hi everyone and big thanks for replies and words of support. How do i feel? not sure really :!: try to do things one step as at a time but life is horrid sometimes :!:

i really appreciate your replies, hugs, and support. i know that people on here understand and this is a good place to come for support and help, but i do find it hard when things get into a mess

i am finding it hard at the moment to know what to write, but i am glad i have written in. when i get my head sorted a bit more i will reply to all of you soon.

thanks again and loads hugs back to you all.

Louise xxxxx

rugbygirl

Hi Louise

I hope that things pick up for you soon. I have recently been diagnosed so I am still struggling day to day to know what to do for the best. One thing I do know is that no matter how hard you try to explain things to your 'friends' they will not fully understand how you feel. Only you can know how you feel and only you know how much pain you are in.

I have lost a lot of friends because of the way that they have viewed my arthur and I have come to the conclusion that no matter how I feel at the time, the friends who cant actually be there for you as a shoulder to lean on (literally sometimes) then they arent friends worth having.

I have decided that if they dont like me and my arthur then they arent worth knowing.

Maybe getting together with your daughter at some point or try seeing if there is anyone in your area with arthur who would be willing to meet up would cheer you up.

psyart

well here i am early sat morning ~sleep has disapeared down the drain due to pain again

i do tx and speak to my daughter every day which does help but i miss the lunchs and just sitting down and talking to her, or in her case just listening to her I am very proud of her and know she found it hard to move away, one reason was due to my illness so i try not to tell her everything.

I think a lot of my problems are due to the fact that i am struggling with the fact that i have fibrom as well as pa, it took long enough to accept pa into my life :!: and also that now i have had to give up things i wanted to do, eg. uni. I'm not sure if i can go back to it, maybe its time to turn my life around and start in a new direction ~ but again i am struggling with which way to go. i dont want to start anything new and then find i cant do it ~ i dont give up easily but this illness sometimes doesnt give you much choice.

hugs to you all ~ i have missed writing on here and 'talking' to people so will try harder to come in and 'talk' more :!:

louise ~ down but not under yet :!: