new, (not with arth) and am asking about a diff topic

Craftyscot
Craftyscot Member Posts: 6
edited 20. Mar 2011, 04:43 in Living with Arthritis archive
I don't quite know where to start.....I am asking if anyone out there has ever experienced fertility problems and also has arthritis? I know this is a very sensitive and private subject, but by giving a bit of my own history I hope to show my willingness to talk about this issue. I have had Juvenile arthritis since I was 10, now extended into adulthood. I had both hips replaced in 1993, and am now 42. I have had various other operations/procedures over the years. Once I began the journey of wanting a family, well, to cut a long story short I have unexplained infertility....I have been trying for 16 years, loads of IVF etc. I have had several v early miscarriages, and finally had a baby daughter at just over 28wks, who sadly lived for a day. I again had another daughter, at 20wks who also died. I also have fibromyalgia. As time has gone on, I am more convinced there is a link between my arthritis and my fertility problems. Just because something is unexplained doesn't mean there isn't a reason. Obviously my drug regime had to change even before we started trying, and has been continually monitored throughout.
I am probably clutching at straws here, and have left it too late, and as i am a private person, this kind of goes against the grain writing this. I think I have just got to the point when I want to know I'm not alone....I can't be that unique :) If anyone out there has ever experienced anything like this, then I don't know if there is a way to private message but it would be good to talk.
Thanks for reading this post, oh and I am a female!!! in case i forgot to mention!!!!
I realise this is a very difficult thing to talk about, but I think probably a subject that needs more research if not discussion.

Thanks anyway...

Comments

  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, I am sorry you have so many problems. What type of arthritis do you have?? Have you ever been tested for APS/sticky blood?? It is an auto immune condition that can occur on its own, or in conjunction to lupus.

    It can cause miscarriages and other problems. I would assume your obgyn has tested for it, if not it is worth asking.

    Just a thought.
  • Craftyscot
    Craftyscot Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Suzygirl, I have juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis, extended into adulthood. I always knew it as Juvenile Chronic Arthritis, until they decide to change the name :) I found out a few years ago, by accident!, that i have antiphospholipid antibodies. This means I have to inject with heparin every day when I'm pregnant, and take aspirin. Is that the same as what you are referring to?
    Thanks for the reply x
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes, that is what I am referring to. I have this as well. I only take aspirin as I have only had a tia. Is your obgyn an expert in this field?? I know St Thomas in London run a special pregnancy clinic. It maybe worth asking for a referral to them. Or contacting the hughes foundation for a specialist in your area.
  • caterina57
    caterina57 Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,
    I am sorry to hear your story and of your losses loosing a child is so difficult, my mum lost her first baby a boy,and never really got over it, she would often have periods of difficulty even as she grew old - she was 86 when she died.

    I have no other relevant experience or knowledge of your problems but just wanted to show my support for you - I take it you are still trying? if so I really wish you well
    Cath
  • Craftyscot
    Craftyscot Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Suzygirl, I only ever take aspirin or inject when pregnant, not on a regular basis. I don't know of the Hughes Foundation? I might look into St Thomas's although I live in the north of scotland!

    Caterina, thanks for the support. Yes it is very difficult losing a baby,(or babies) ,you just somehow learn to live with it...not easy. As far as still trying, not sure anymore, we have been through a lot...
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Will send you a PM, I am not sure what links etc you are allowed to post.
  • caterina57
    caterina57 Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Just to let you know we will always be here to support through happy and bad times. I have had a bad few months - but not on the scale of yours and really do not know where I would be now if it was not for my "freinds" on this forum
    Cath
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    There is only one guarantee in life and that kicks in from the moment of conception. Fertility is not a given by any means, neither is good health, but to want children and not be able must be heartbreaking (I know it is, we have friends who would be superb parents but it was not to be thanks to her history of severe endometriosis). I have no idea what trials and tribulations you have faced but sometimes things happen for a reason. Finding that reason, and coming to terms with it, must be a struggle. I wish you well. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • rugbygirl
    rugbygirl Member Posts: 691
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Although I cant offer any help with your situation I would like to offer my support. I know there is nothing I can say to take away your pain and frustration but please know that I think you are very brave for discussing your problem. I hope that you find some way of making this happen for you.

    Wishing you all the best for the future
    Jakib0644.gif
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi...
    I just wanted to offer my support too..
    I can't imagine what you must be feeling...I was devasted when i miscarried but to go through what you have must be awful...
    I agree with rubygirl, you are very brave to open up and talk about it.. i hope someone will be able to help you..
    Were always ready to listen and support, you are not on your own...
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • Craftyscot
    Craftyscot Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for the support. I knew it was a long shot posting my situation, but I didn't know where else to turn to!!! I feel like i don't fit into any category! or i fit in to too many!!! Do i post on fertility sites, bereavement sites, arthritis sites, miscarriage sites etc etc!!!!! All of the above ! I really don't want to fit into any of them, but that's just the way it is.
    It is a very personal and difficult subject to talk about, and one that is probably never discussed, so therefore makes it difficult to know where to go for any answers/support. I just don't know anyone else in my position, not that I would wish it on anyone.
    I think i am just letting off some steam/frustration here, and if anything comes from it then fine, and if it doesn't, well I have had a little vent!!!
    I have some tough decisions ahead, which i am not looking forward to making or living with.

    Thanks for listening/reading and i hope that all of you are coping as well as you can with your own individual situations :)
    xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,848
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have PMd you Crafty :smile:
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi I'm so sorry, it seems that you have been through so much. Sometimes, life isn't fair, is it? I'll send you a message. Take care, oh and welcome to the site!
    Love Sue xxxxx
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,468
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yep, not the easiest of subjects and arther does have a bearing on us chaps as well. As well as OA I have osteoporosis, testosterone is one of the triggers for bone building, a low or slightly lowered level of which has an affect on men, so there, a direct link between an arthritis and reproduction.

    8) Its a grin, honest!
  • rugbygirl
    rugbygirl Member Posts: 691
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have had a thought about this and I remembered that a friend of mine had difficulty carrying to full term and lost a baby like you.

    She had her first baby at 28 weeks and unfortunately lost her at about a day old. She spoke to her doctor about this and she had a stitch put into her cervix to stop the early labour and in the end she had a daughter who is now 6 years old. She then had trouble concieving but she managed to concieve and she has a second daughter who is now 1years old.

    She too has arthritis (what type I am not sure) but it does prove that it can happen.

    I hope that it does for you!
    Jakib0644.gif
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Craftyscot,

    Its not fair for you at all flower and I know it very well.... till I leaned I couldn't take the heartache I kept trying but the last one was too long in when he died and that was it. I vowed never again cus I could take the heartache or for me the failure either.

    Mine might well not have been arthritis and back then I only had the oa as far as I knew but did have other things.

    I kinda think with the advances in medicine things would have been different and maybe they could help you a lot more than you realize if you saw the right people? I don't know but somewhere on here is a very long pregnancy thread. It might be a good one for you to find and read cus well it could give you a lot more info.

    I even now can still equate to some of your post so well and well my advice... I got some counselling years after and until then I didn't know how much it had effected me so grief counselling maybe would help you. I also had so much embarrassment and an over whelming sense of failure. Still have got embarrassment but the failure side... well there is box I leave shut! Had I dealt with the emotional side better younger maybe I would be a better and more rounded person so if you need to get some help with the emotional shift before you make your decisions flower.

    I so hope it just suddenly goes right for you. Cris x