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  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    rehab44 wrote:
    OOAQICI82QB4IP


    oh oh a que i see i hate to que before i pee ???????
    val
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That was what I had guessed, which is why I replied ICYU82QB4UP..............so do I :!: :lol: ( see previous post)

    I see why you hate to queue before you pee...........so do I :!:

    Not quite as thick as I thought I was after all :lol:

    Anyway, men don't have to queue; it's one of the injustices we women have to bear :roll:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    O'Reilly's fish and chip shop in Bridlington claim Osama Bin Laden alive and well

    The proprietor of O'Reilly's, Bridlington's premier fish and chip takeaway, who strangely enough is called Mr O'Reilly, claims that famous Saudi prince of darkness and bomb-making equipment, Osama Bin Laden, is not in fact dead, but has been spirited away from Pakistan by the authorities to the less demanding lifestyle of chipping potatoes and mushing peas.

    Speaking from his emporium at 3b Acacia Avenue, just off the waterfront, turn left at the abandoned Woolworths, then third on the left after the abandoned Zavi store, Mr Bin Laden arrived at Bridlington Aerodrome on board a Goat Airways Cessna in the middle of the night, and was escorted to his shop by a crack battalion from the Salvation Army.

    Mr O'Reilly says that he joins Elvis Presley (man in charge of salt and vinegar), Michael Jackson (chief fish fryer), Jim Morrison (gopher) and Elizabeth Taylor (manageress) who all currently work behind the counter.

    He went on to say that it was the first member of staff he had ever employed to have a knowledge of liquids so powerful they could strip enamel from a sink. He felt use of this liquid would bring a new meaning to hygiene on his premises.
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    'Clegg just like Bin Laden' says Cameron

    Dead in the water.

    Beatle Paul McCartney To Marry Bride Number Three

    Former Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney is to marry for a third time, according to sources.Rumours that the happy couple will honeymoon in a yellow submarine have yet to be confirmed.
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Man Thought He Was A Camera

    Transpires he was polaroid.

    Vicky Pollard Slammed As Cause For Collapse Of Yes Vote

    In a sensational development Vicky Pollard, from BBC hit sketch show, Little Britain, has been blamed by Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, as the cause of the Yes campaign being comprehensively thrashed. Pollard's creator roly-poly comic, Matt Lucas, denied that he was in the pocket of the 'No' campaign and is adamant that he had nothing to do with the outcome of the vote. He held a press conference earlier today where he stated "Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but..."

    Government Orchestra to be formed

    The HRH Government Fiddleharmonic Orchestra

    The idea was put forward and accepted, at a meeting of David Cameron, William Hague, Kenneth Clarke and other drunken members of the government at the Crooked Member Inn last month.

    After much bitching, foot-stamping, and wailing, it was decided the formation of the orchestra would be as follows.

    Conducted by: David Cameron

    Lecturn supported by: Nick Clegg

    Wind Section led by: Liam Fox

    Brass Section led by: George Osborne

    Drumming led by: Kenneth Clarke

    Two-way Horn: William Hague

    All compositions made with the Lib-Dem Desperate Dance Team
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    TV Nutritionist takes out Super-Noodle Injunction after secret stash of junk food snacks discovered

    A well known TV Nutritionist has taken out a Super-Noodle Injunction after a secret hoard of junk food snacks were discovered under her bed. The Nutritionist cannot be named for bagel reasons..

    Channel 4 announce new digital Freeview Channels ‘E4 ÷ 2′, ‘-E4′

    With the digital switchover nearing completion, Channel 4 today unveiled a raft of new mathematically generated channels to complement the existing E4+1, which broadcasts E4 programmes an hour later than E4.

    E4÷2 will show programmes at half-speed, -E4 will have them run in reverse and sin(E4) will rhythmically loop scenes from E4 shows backwards and forwards.

    Channel 4’s head of extrapolation, Neal Bath, commented, ‘Channel 4 is thrilled to announce this set of innovative entertainment solutions that takes viewing to the nth degree, and that offers audiences exciting new ways to enjoy their favourite episodes of Friends.’
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Fridge Owner Jailed

    Manchester man Jack Smith has been jailed for 6 months after pleading guilty to leaving fridges in the back garden over night.

    He was done for indesit exposure.
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