Hi guys, after months of being okish I'm in the middle of a huge flare, its affecting both feet and ankles, both knees, both hands and assorted fingers, thumbs and hand joints, both elbows and both shoulders and neck. This morning came the stark reminder of the reality of living with RA. I couldn't walk without the help of my hubby, virtually holding me up, he had to help me into the shower and wait whilst I washed, he helped me out of the shower and back into the bedroom, where he had to help me to dress. I had a doc's appointment for a steroid jab, hubby had to help me into and out of the car as I couldn't put weight on either feet or hands. I couldn't say which is more painful, trying to stand/walk or sitting wih everything throbbing and just generally hurting..... a lot. I haven't been as bad as this before and hopefully the steroid jab will help to damp things down in the next couple of days, plus I start on injeted mtx this week due to the horrendous side effects I had taking them orally.
I have struggled with my feelings about all of this all day, not really being able to find the right person to talk to about it. I felt very embarassedand humiliated this morning having to get my hubby to help me with the most basic of personal needs. He was happy to help and did so with tender loving care, whilst I felt helpless. I've been quite scared as this flare has been gathering momentum for a week or more reducing my mobility each day.
I know that things will feel easier in a few days once the steroid kicks in and usually I try not to dwell on this but today I feel so sad, I could cry.
I knew it would be ok to let all of this out here and I know there are plenty of people here who understand how I feel.
So thanks for letting me get this off my chest and heres to a better day tomorrow.
Thanks a lot, love and ((((()))), Brenda xxxx