I am really struggling with my mother at the moment and am hoping that someone will be able to give me some ideas of how I can help her, or what I should do. She is 65 and has arthrtis in her hips and knees. She has had this for at least 10 years and is on painkilers everyday. She does not have a disabled badge for her car but appears to be barely able to walk a lot of the time. I am finding it really frustrating because it seems to me she is refusing to help herself. She is quite over weight and has been for years, I have asked her countless times to try loosing weight and to start going for walks with me but she never has and now says she cant. I booked her into an aqua aerobics class but despite intitially agreeing to go she then refused. She says I am interfering with her life and making her unhappy, but am just trying to help. She sits in her flat all day and even gets her shopping delivered now. Unless my sister or get her she wont go out.
I have just had a baby and also have a three year old and want her to have an active role in their lives, she says she wants this too, but doesnt seem to be doing anything to help herself. My mother in law is very fit and active and so often takes my daughter to the park or farm, and my mum seems to get jealous about this but whenever I ask her to come with us she refuses saying she wll only hold us up, but she seems to resent me for not asking. I just dont seem to be able to win. I just want her to be happy but she seems determined to make herself miserable. She says that the Drs say she is too overweight for a hip replacement but this seems to be her only hope for a better quality of life.
Sorry for such a long post, but I really am getting stressed and upset about this. Am I just beinging out of order and puttng too much pressure on her, would t be better for me to back off and let her get on with it? Any advice greatly appreciated.