THE NEXT PERSON

bertyboy
bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
edited 4. May 2011, 04:40 in Living with Arthritis archive
:evil the next person that tells me i need more exercise and then the knee will be better , so and so is doing brilliant and can do it all , its really getting to me now how people see me hobbling down the road with crutches , like a snail i have not given in i do potter in the greenhouse and the garden , just not climbing mountains and tap dancing but didn't before :roll:
I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx

Comments

  • jilly
    jilly Member Posts: 503
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bertyboy ,I take it this is your TKR you are talking about , I had mine done a couple of years ago now and i got the same ,there always seems to be someone who knows someone that is doing so well and telling me they where up and jumping about in a month. I think it is because they hear that you are only in hospital a week,and there nothing to it these days .(I wish) It was only after 12 months that mine settled down . Lets face it having a TKR is a major op and takes time to get back to normal. I listened and thought i was not doing well then when i went back for my 12month accessment they said i was doing really well, i thought i could'nt bend it enough but they said i was on target and not to push it . I still have days when i get pain so it still isnt back to being like a good knee. My other knee is ready for a TKR now and i cant talk myself into having it done , I dont know why but i have started with inflamartory arthritis and have pain in lots of other joints, i cant face having any extra pain at the moment . Tell them to come and talk to you when they have had it done :evil .........jillyx
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks for the reply Jilly i know how good things can be as it was doing ok but has gone waywood now , and i am back to crutches , and waiting for an appointment when i can get through on the phone , its just so mind numbing explaing to people that things are not right with my knee , a year down the line
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx
  • jilly
    jilly Member Posts: 503
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You poor thing ,I know how frustrating it is to sort out when it goes wrong , getting appointments are hard , i have been waiting for 6 weeks to get back in to sort my inflamatory arthritis after having a bad reaction to the meds , it seems to have been all to do with the holidays for me , does'nt help when you are in pain does it , hope you sort it out and get back to things being good ..........jillyx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bertyboy
    I really do feel for you, you do get fed up of people telling you what you should be doing, and how someone they know was great after a couple of months, you have to go at your pace, no two people are alike.
    I do hope that things move on for you very soon, I can only imagine the frustration of the two steps backward.
    Good luck with everything
    Love
    Barbara x
    Love
    Barbara
  • Compositor
    Compositor Member Posts: 122
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Berty, I know where your coming from...I had a spinal fusion years ago, because I was walking a little out of shunt, they were saying "what's up with your legs, and when I had both knees replaced...the same people who me were saying "is your back still giving gip"...I just tell um I have a head ache now and be done, it's easier than explaining :wink:
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The comment that really bugs me from people is , " I , my mother , my friend , my sister etc , had that but it's better now . " , it seems that everyone you meet used to have some form of arthritis ; but it was the 48 hour kind ! Hope you see some benefit from your new knee soon or maybe tell that NEXT PERSON that you are in fact a lizard illuminati and it takes longer to settle ! Jillyb
  • fudge
    fudge Member Posts: 78
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello bertyboy, I hope your blood pressure is doing ok with all these folks having a pop at you. My neighbour had TKR done over a year ago and is still struggling - just recently had injections to see if they would help.

    I use elbow crutches, and keep getting asked what I have done to my leg, I do feel the temptation to ask which one, so far have resisted and just say have arthritis. This goes one of two ways : the subject is dropped or I get to hear how bad they are :roll:

    I do like compositors " I have a headache " :lol::lol:

    Hoping you have a good day today - knee allowing.

    ......fudge.......
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Berty,

    People are just unkind and always know some one who has had it and if it post op doing better than you and if its pre op it all went wrong! They just don't think flower.

    You hang in there and with a bit of luck you will get some help when your next seen When is it flower? My head like a sive now a days.

    Leaving you a bucket of people ignore and another of hugs, one of hopes and one more of stamina.... you make sure you drink it all and these people just let it go over your head cus they just don't get it and sadly never will. Love Cris xx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hiya

    I know its frustrating for you but people do say it meaning the best. I mean would we rather they said "god youre doing bloody awful, how long is it now?".....When folk arent sure what is best they say the usual sayings, its like when you meet someone in street you ask "how you doing" but rarely does the relply come out as "im hellish".....
    Good on you for pottering away...

    Elainex
    bertyboy wrote:
    :evil the next person that tells me i need more exercise and then the knee will be better , so and so is doing brilliant and can do it all , its really getting to me now how people see me hobbling down the road with crutches , like a snail i have not given in i do potter in the greenhouse and the garden , just not climbing mountains and tap dancing but didn't before :roll:
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi berty

    Sorry things aren't quite right at the moment, I hope you get the appointment soon and that they are able to help or atleast give you good advice.(sorry i am not much help)

    Take care
    Juliepf x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    They seem to think that they are being blindingly original in relaying their less than helpful advice, and of course we should not forget that they are also experts in orthopaedic surgery and the management of arthritis. I think that all one can do is smile sweetly, thank them for their insight and the munificence of their wisdom, remark that you are astonished that you have not thought of any of this before, that you are eternally and profoundly grateful for their input. Then go home and stick pins in a poppett. Job done. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Berty,
    Havent had a TKR but have had a THR {not much difference LOL :lol: }
    The same thing kept happening to me post op.....everyone knew someone who was walking perfectly within a couple of weeks.....
    Mine was OK to start with then went kaput....if it had been after thatI could have understood but it was within 6 weeks of having it done. :roll: .....It makes you feel really down when people tell you that their friend/relative saw immediate difference.......now....I've just managed to get my yearly appt....it was a year ago last Feb but i went off the radar because they started concentrating on my back and forgot about my hip so yearly appt is in June {16 months post op} and I wouldnt have had that if I hadnt rung them and asked why I hadn't received an appt.
    Take care
    Love
    Hileena
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks all where would i be with out you support , usually i just carry on regardless , but just sometimes it get the better of me , i know in time it will be sorted , tried ringing this morn for an appointment but his secretary is on hols till thursday typically my luck , i am the 1% that things have gone belly up for , so if you need a tkr go for it they do work and work well , xx
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Can I just add to that.....anyone needing a THR...go for it.....I'm like Berty..one of the minority that it doesnt work for. It works well for most people.....but still pay no attention to people that say to you {after the first couple of weeks} that their friend was walking better than she ever did ...it takes time.

    Love
    Hileena
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well i found I was walking better than ever but I still suffer from other joint probs. Its not just one thing, mended, sorted. And all that inflammation hurts so we are never 100%.
    I was made to feel I would be fine after my THR (by family) but its not that simple........there are other things to deal with-side effects of meds, lack of sleep, pain in other joints.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein