Having several serious illnesses

kneegirl
kneegirl Member Posts: 492
edited 8. May 2011, 11:59 in Living with Arthritis archive
I am only in my 30s but my GP says my body is like that of a 65 year old. I have several serious illnesses and don't like telling people because they just belittle them!

I am at the hospital several times a month.

:( xxx
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Comments

  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am in a similar situation, and feel old before my time. The illnesses and meds have left their mark on my body and I hate it. Yet all I hear is 'don't you look well' and 'you don't look sick' :grin:

    I find people expect me to move for them as I am younger even though I am on crutches, which really annoys me. :shock: As if things aren't hard enough anyway!!

    Thats why you have to come on here and let it all out!! It helps to talk to others who understand.

    Take care
  • Pherstun
    Pherstun Member Posts: 96
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi kneegirl

    I know the feeling, I'm 38 and have several illnesses. I'm not at hospital as regularly as you are but I don't like talking about stuff cos I figure people will think "oh she's not going on about that again" or "she's never well." The only way people at work understand that I'm not well is that I have hospital appointments every two to three months.

    Suzygirl - I agree as well with the "you don't look sick" etc, I don't get it verbally but can see people looking at me that way. I walk with two sticks outdoors and still have to ask for people to let me sit down when I get on the bus. You feel like screaming at them "do you think I'm walking with these for fun??"

    I also get niggled by people who think they're helping by suggesting things I could do to feel better or otherwise improve my condition. I try to explain why I can't do whatever they're suggesting but it doesn't go in, they have a one track mind.

    Hey ho, life goes on!

    Debbie
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Knee girl,

    I am another with one or two things but so far i have been lucky and the worse one hasn't done what they told me it would. I do have to have an infusion every 4 months and I hate it but its what has kept it down for the last 10 years.

    I was born with 3 of mine and well flower sometimes it gets hard to deal with it all. You hang in there. Cris x
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,827
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi kneegirl

    Now that is not a problem on here - no-one belittles each other!! we jus support each other as much as possible.

    We understand how it gets you down having long term conditions.

    You have found the right place

    Love

    toni xx
  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's worse for me as most of mine are both rare and autoimmune. As I say I have to be seen at hospital several times a month for life.

    xx
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  • cythna
    cythna Member Posts: 42
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Pherstun wrote:
    Hi kneegirl

    I know the feeling, I'm 38 and have several illnesses. I'm not at hospital as regularly as you are but I don't like talking about stuff cos I figure people will think "oh she's not going on about that again" or "she's never well." The only way people at work understand that I'm not well is that I have hospital appointments every two to three months.

    I also get niggled by people who think they're helping by suggesting things I could do to feel better or otherwise improve my condition. I try to explain why I can't do whatever they're suggesting but it doesn't go in, they have a one track mind.

    Hey ho, life goes on!

    Debbie

    Isn't that annoying? Complete strangers, taxi drivers for example, are like, 'Oh my mum had arthritis, she took castor oil, and now she's better!!", or 'Vinegar and honey is a good remedy'. Yes, because the NHS wants to spend £10,000 a year on my Humira, rather than curing me with vinegar!

    Susan
  • bubbles
    bubbles Member Posts: 6,508
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We are all very glad that such a caring forum exists, so that we can have a rant and grumble.

    I remember listing my conditions, for some department or other at the works and pensions and I felt really quite shocked, when I saw it all down on paper. Most, well, all, are progressive and long term, but, you don't see things from the outside, apart from obvious pain or difficulty walking.

    "oh, how lovely to see you, you look well, what's with the crutches, or why are you in a buggy"?? - I have to bite my lip on many occasions and usually say, don't ask, it would take all day, then talk about something different, either that or I would run over their feet with my buggy.

    I also remember a physio saying, "a lot of pain can often be a state of mind - oh, really said I, nicely, but firmly - you have it, just for a day, see how bone on bone feels, how angina frightens the life out of you, as if this could be your last day, is this yet another heart attack, how fybro steam rolls into your daily life and stops you like a brick wall. She never mentioned it again.

    I need a cup of T, I am off into the cafe, I am all out of sorts now.
    XX Aidan (still known as Bubbles).
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bubbles,

    Glad to bump into you and hope your okish? Leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a hope you get a good night. Cris xx

    Oh and physios sometimes I wonder what planet they live on....
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Kneegirl, It shouldn't matter how many illnesses you have people shouldn't belittle you! When you are dealing with an illness that effects your whole life it is hard enough!!
    I'm 38yrs old and I have a body that feels 88yrs old! And it annoys the hell out of me when people say 'well you don't look ill!' 'Well unfortunatly dear osteoporosis is hidden' is what I want to say but not to cause upset I just smile. Or the other one is 'your to young to have that'. But not to cause a scene I just stay quiet. What I would love is to swap bodies for a day with these people and let them see how hard it is!
    I feel we are strong people to live with what we have day to day and hardly moan! :lol: two fingers to these people who just try to bring us down!! :smile:
  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have made a decision today. I am not going to the nosy church anymore! I went to my other church today and it was such an uplifting experience that **** off to the other one. Not one person from the other church has been in touch to see if I am ok - bear in mind I have just been vv ill in hospital - you would have thought someone would have texted to say that they missed me today!! I know, I know I can't have it all ways!! xx
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  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Anyways who is coming to my concert? anyone from here?? it is free and we don't sound bad :)
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