Sorry - me again :(

kneegirl
kneegirl Member Posts: 492
edited 8. May 2011, 12:33 in Living with Arthritis archive
Why?????????? Why does my Dad have to be such a tw*t?? Surely he must realise I've got more than enough going on already!!!

I put the phone down on him and he said if I do that again he will not have anything to do with me ever again!!!

FFS leave me alone - I'm fragile!!

:'(
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Comments

  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    He has just rung to apologise. x
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  • speedalong
    speedalong Member Posts: 3,315
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Kneegirl,

    no one really understands what we are going through except fellow-sufferers. At least he has apologised. Maybe you should get an answerphone so you can screen calls or caller display and then you need only answer the phone to him when you feel strong enough.

    Speedy
    I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.
  • keith1971
    keith1971 Member Posts: 302
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    TMI perhaps?
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  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yea I do have an answering machine but he would only then ring my mobile.
    xx
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  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Parents aye, Kneegirl! :roll: We can be so annoying, can't we? :x :roll:

    I am sorry as you do not really need this at the moment do you?

    I do not know how old you are, but I have had differences with my two but now, one being a daddy and the other in a relationship, we are the best of freinds and my daughter does not know what she would do without me.

    Bless!

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm in my 30's Elna xxx
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  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi , Kneegirl , luckily not fallen out with my kids ( all in or around their 30's ) but when they had trouble understanding , I asked them to sit and read " the spoon theory " on the net . It's written by someone dealing with Lupus which I thankfully don't have , I'm RA ; but it does explain some of what we all go through each day . Maybe this would also help your family / dad to understand a little better too . Jillyb
  • cythna
    cythna Member Posts: 42
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What is it with some Dads? When I was nine years old my Mum took me to the opticians because I used to sut six inched from the tv. Of course I needed glasses. Wow, my Dad didn't stop moaning. It would be a five minute wonder, I was only doing it for attention, waste of money &/ Meanwhile I was rejoicing in the pattern of my bedroom wallpaper, which I could now see was hung upside down! He could be similary judging over RA, and seemed to have answers for how I could cure myself.

    I think they see it as a failiure on their part. They want to blame someone, and you're it! It's very hard to deal with though, especially when you don't feel good, and need all the suport you can get.

    Best wishes

    Susan (still wearing glasses!)
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Knee Girl,

    been thinking about this one and i wonder if your dad just can't handle the fact you have the arthritis? Jilly's idea about the spoons is very good and might help him to understand but i think if you contact the helplines by pm or email and get them to send you an info pack and ask him to read it that might just help?

    I am not very good at advice where parents are concerned as i have a very strained relationship with my father and my mother died hating me basically...... I just think though it might be he can't handle it so wont have it if that makes sense?

    A few booklets might well help him and I think you need to 'train' him a bit....

    if he is pleasant talk to him but he is not... I wonder if just saying quietly that you are unable to handle it might help him to realize what he is doing? As I say I not so good at the parent thing but hope you can get it sorted as he shouldn't be stressing you this much. A ((( ))) and a diet coke :wink: Cris xx
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,822
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Kneegirl :sad:

    l am sorry.

    I dont know your Dad but tending to agree with Jilly and Cris he really doesn't understand does he and you are his 'little' girl and he doesn't want anything to be worng with you :sad:

    (Liked Jilly's wallpaper example!)

    I think the time may be upon you for a nice chat. Tell him as it is gently but as it is.


    LOve

    Toni xx
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Kneegirl wow! I think we have alot in common!! My dad used to put me down daily, saying things like 'these nothing wrong with you grow out of it' or 'stop being a hypochondriac' he would leave me in tears daily. Then one day 2 years ago he pushed me over the edge. I don't want to say what he said but it really hurt me. I suffer with this illness called 'non-epilectic seizures' on top of everything else! And it is brought on by stress and/or upset, so I needed to keep myself calm.My father-in-law was alive still then so I called him, he calmed me, I explained what had happened, to cut a story short I made the decision to cut cut him out of my life totally! I don't talk of him (except for this) If I need to talk of him he is called the sperm donor! As far as I'm concerned my father died last year ( my father-in-law).If you generally have a good relationship with your father, sit him down and make sure you tell him everything that is wrong with you. It will hurt him, yes but he needs to know and you tell him that he has been hurting you and it needs to stop.Don't let him leave the table until you both have an understanding, otherwise you could end up like me & mine. :sad:
  • kneegirl
    kneegirl Member Posts: 492
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone

    He is normally ok - take today - he rang me this morning to ask if I wanted to meet him and Mum for lunch after Church. Of course I said yes. It was fine went well - and I was able to get 50% off the bill as I have a taste card- I got a free lunch and free afternoon drink and cake (they paid).

    xxx
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