Whats Wrong With Young Kids

elainebadknee

Hiya

Was out on a wee walk today and experienced something really horrible and sad. I walked up the small hill from our house and past the spar shop. There at side was a group of about 7 young boys, ages between about 9 and 12...They were shouting, being very vocal but i just thought they were on too much sugar, and not harming anyone. I was on opposite side of road, so i walked down a road and began my way back down the hill....
All the way down hill could hear these kids and again thought well theyre just young, what harm are they doing? I came to a little walkway which winds a bit before it hits the main road. Then these lads were at bottom and i had to walk quite near to them to get past. Again i minded my own business and the first one walked by really cocky said "all right darling?"...I ignored this and another one went past with a plsatic bottle in his hands and said "he wants to use this on you"...to which others guffaed and thought they were the bees knees....I ignored them all as if had answered them it would have been petty...
I think its really sad when kids cannot go about their own business...Okay have a laugh but not at other people's expense...Why cant they just play football, have a run etc? And who on earth is bringing up children like this? Its totally disrespectful and im not old but i fear for children (and thats what they are in a world where they think they know everything at that age)....I was saddended by this encounter and if i knew where they lived would question the parents about if they know what their kids do and say...

Elainex

kneegirl

sadly thats kids today!! I hate walking passed hooded youths fortunately there are very few around here.

Did you know any of them? Maybe speak to their parents?

xx

lupin15

It is such a shame but i am afraid a lot of this is down to parenting. At nine mine only played in the garden or nearby so i could see them at a ten they had to report back to me every 1/2 hour or if they wanted to go to someone's house i would ring the parents of that child and leave my telephone number and address....old fashioned but at the end of the day my responsibility. Even when they were older the where were you ruled continued. I know a lot of older people in some areas are really frightened to go past or near young people...how sad is that.
God i am sounding like my mother now.....
I just think some people think because their child has a mobile it does not matter....they can always get hold of them so do not ask where they are going...or care!!!!

livinglegend

The parents don't bother about the children as they are more interested in what the empty-headed, so called z-list celebs are up to. The parents don't care, then the children in their turn, don't care about anyone or anything.

The kids also know all their 'rights', but nothing of their responsibilities to other people. They just do what they want, like whatever!

fudge

Hello elaine, so sad to hear about that very unpleasant experience.

I think you would be wasting your time speaking to the parents - if they cared at all about their children, the incident would not have happened at all.

Used to be a time when we smiled at the innocence of youth, sadly no more. They know way to much about the wrong kind of things.

Hope you manage another walk, when they are in school ( or should be ) and maybe meet someone you chat with and return home light hearted.

Look after yourself

fudge

tkachev

Unfortunately a lot of children have very little parenting at all and are left out on the streets to pick up behaviour and jargon from their mates and be part of a gang. They are so bored that they have to make comments at passers by to fill in the time. You did well to ignore them.
When I took my children to the farm park last week the behaviour of some children was upsetting. One boy hit a goat on the face (I reported him to the manager standing nearby so they could keep an eye) one girl was giving the finger to her parents and another slammed a gate on my daughter as she approached(to which I did make a comment cos I'm afraid i cant let things go...I know I should just ignore such behaviour as my daughter hadn't even noticed it was deliberate).

elizabeth

seamonkey

Hi, i just wanted to point out that in every group of society there are those that behave inappropriately and nasty, ive encountered elderly people who bully shout abuse and would do anything to cause trouble.
Ive tried really hard to bring my 4 kids up with values about respecting others etc, i hope that when my eldest is out and about with his mates he sticks by these values however if i found out that he had behaved in any way like that group of lads he wouldnt be out again on his own for a very very long time!! He is 13 and has only recently been alowed out alone.
SOme parents are happy just not having their kids in the house. That way they dont have to devote any of their time to them. Its sad very sad but out of sight out of mind,
You were very brave to ignore them. Im afraid i would have lost patience and called the police.
Seamonkey

elainebadknee

Hiya kneegirl

No dont know any parents, not even recognise kids...horibele little ikes..
Elainex

kneegirl wrote:

sadly thats kids today!! I hate walking passed hooded youths fortunately there are very few around here.

Did you know any of them? Maybe speak to their parents?

xx

elainebadknee

Hi Lupin

I think its sad and i woujldnt have gotten away with this at that age....I would have said something had adults been ther4e too but find it really sad all in all..

Elainex

lupin15 wrote:

It is such a shame but i am afraid a lot of this is down to parenting. At nine mine only played in the garden or nearby so i could see them at a ten they had to report back to me every 1/2 hour or if they wanted to go to someone's house i would ring the parents of that child and leave my telephone number and address....old fashioned but at the end of the day my responsibility. Even when they were older the where were you ruled continued. I know a lot of older people in some areas are really frightened to go past or near young people...how sad is that.
God i am sounding like my mother now.....
I just think some people think because their child has a mobile it does not matter....they can always get hold of them so do not ask where they are going...or care!!!!

elainebadknee

Hiya

Well i disagree witrh you, some parents do care and not all kids are rottne but itts the hadnfcul acting like this spoling the views of others..

Elainex

livinglegend wrote:

The parents don't bother about the children as they are more interested in what the empty-headed, so called z-list celebs are up to. The parents don't care, then the children in their turn, don't care about anyone or anything.

The kids also know all their 'rights', but nothing of their responsibilities to other people. They just do what they want, like whatever!

elainebadknee

Hi

Its just really unexpected and so horrible to hear such foul things from children....
some parents would take notice others may not and i think they act very differnt when at home..

Elainex

fudge wrote:

Hello elaine, so sad to hear about that very unpleasant experience.

I think you would be wasting your time speaking to the parents - if they cared at all about their children, the incident would not have happened at all.

Used to be a time when we smiled at the innocence of youth, sadly no more. They know way to much about the wrong kind of things.

Hope you manage another walk, when they are in school ( or should be ) and maybe meet someone you chat with and return home light hearted.

Look after yourself

fudge

elainebadknee

Hi Elizabeth

Yeah well its really sad to see kids act like that to others, animals and towrads their parents...I couldnt keep my mouth shut either as you didnt ...sometimes its too much...
A sad world..

Elainex

tkachev wrote:

Unfortunately a lot of children have very little parenting at all and are left out on the streets to pick up behaviour and jargon from their mates and be part of a gang. They are so bored that they have to make comments at passers by to fill in the time. You did well to ignore them.
When I took my children to the farm park last week the behaviour of some children was upsetting. One boy hit a goat on the face (I reported him to the manager standing nearby so they could keep an eye) one girl was giving the finger to her parents and another slammed a gate on my daughter as she approached(to which I did make a comment cos I'm afraid i cant let things go...I know I should just ignore such behaviour as my daughter hadn't even noticed it was deliberate).

elizabeth

elainebadknee

Hi SM

I know in every walk of life there is good n bad but its sad to experience the foulness of it first hand...I mean even public schoolboys can be yobs as seen with dave gilmour of pink flloyds son who urinated on centaph..

Sad..

Elainex

seamonkey wrote:

Hi, i just wanted to point out that in every group of society there are those that behave inappropriately and nasty, ive encountered elderly people who bully shout abuse and would do anything to cause trouble.
Ive tried really hard to bring my 4 kids up with values about respecting others etc, i hope that when my eldest is out and about with his mates he sticks by these values however if i found out that he had behaved in any way like that group of lads he wouldnt be out again on his own for a very very long time!! He is 13 and has only recently been alowed out alone.
SOme parents are happy just not having their kids in the house. That way they dont have to devote any of their time to them. Its sad very sad but out of sight out of mind,
You were very brave to ignore them. Im afraid i would have lost patience and called the police.
Seamonkey

seamonkey

Hi Elaine,
I hope your having a good day today. Society and the human race can sometimes make me ashamed to say that im apart of that.
What a world we live in,
My parents both pensioners are having terrible trouble with a group parking cars outside on the grass of their cul d sac and playing loud music. Police called the other day and am hoping this hasnt sparked off their behavior to turn violent.
Nowt as weird as folk. Isnt that a saying?
Have a restful evening,
seamonkey x

barbara12

livinglegend wrote:

The parents don't bother about the children as they are more interested in what the empty-headed, so called z-list celebs are up to. The parents don't care, then the children in their turn, don't care about anyone or anything.

The kids also know all their 'rights', but nothing of their responsibilities to other people. They just do what they want, like whatever!

Joseph you took the words out of my mouth....these children have never been shown or learned any values.....they do not know how to show respect...and sometimes have never been shown love......I am really nervous when out on my own......I just wish there was an answer..
Barbara x

frogmorton

rehab44 wrote:

Do you believe that the majority of kids are like this or is it a minority?

MINORITY Rehab l sincerely hope :sad:

barbara12

rehab44 wrote:

Do you believe that the majority of kids are like this or is it a minority?

Definitely the minority....there are some good kids out there.....

elainebadknee

Barbara

I think now a lot of youths know too much, too young and try to act grown up, they think swearing, being loud and vulgar is how older teenagers act but its just horrible. It is all down to parenting or lack of it and if you answer them back you are likely to be reported to some authority and face consequences.
Its like most things in life, do you ignore things or do you react, sometimes its not worth the hassle but sometimes too you simply cannot just let any sort of behaviour carry on. Its a lottery what reaction you get but in some circumstances its better to stand up for inexcusable reasons.

Elainex

barbara12 wrote:

livinglegend wrote:

The parents don't bother about the children as they are more interested in what the empty-headed, so called z-list celebs are up to. The parents don't care, then the children in their turn, don't care about anyone or anything.

The kids also know all their 'rights', but nothing of their responsibilities to other people. They just do what they want, like whatever!

Joseph you took the words out of my mouth....these children have never been shown or learned any values.....they do not know how to show respect...and sometimes have never been shown love......I am really nervous when out on my own......I just wish there was an answer..
Barbara x

elainebadknee

Hi PPPeter

Thanks for message. I do get what you are saying however i have friends who have not had father roles, been in and out social housing, one was sexually assualted by an uncle also. This persons attitude was to not be a troublemaker and instead earn a living, act responsibility and not live their life as they had been rbought up themselves. I think ultimately we are the makers of our own fate. I say this becuase i have had dogs abuse off someone with ADHD but they also vocally abused someone else and apologised to that individual, not myself, which tells me they do know right from wrong but because of their condition in some circumstances it can be an excuse for inexcusable behaviur. I know every situation is differrent but its all down to are you a sheep and be swayed by the madding crowd or do you go out on a limb by yourself and the courage of your convictions.
Im not a social worker, not a parent so i dont claim to have the right opinion, simply my own...Im also part of a large family who has seen numerous marriages break down and the results of that upon my own neices/nephews...

Elainex

What is happening is that children are being brought into this world and a majority have no father figure, children learn from their parents they learn the place in society, just like apes, there is a pecking order, children need to know that order within the family, this will also take what they have learnt from the family into their adulthood.

Now what I am going to say, I am not pointing my finger at ANYBODY there are many single parents who do a fantastic job of bring up well adjusted children who go into adulthood and make fantastic parents.

Then there are children who are not lucky enough to live in a family that cares. As I said at the beginning that children need a male role model and without them they do not know how to behave, its a very basic level a male child needs a male adult, if there isn't one that guides or even show normal adult behaviour the child will then join other children in the same situation, research has shown male children bond with other male children who don't have a supportive male adult in their lives. So we have our child bonding with other children, within in this group just the same as juvenile apes there is a leader, the leader will challenge any one that he feels is threatening his leadership. The make up of any group there are the nucleus, these are the strongest willed including the leader, then the outer circle, these are included in only some of the what the nucleus is doing just to keep them keen and to follow the orders and then there are the satellites those who want to be part of the group but have not proven their worth and they are more like foot soldiers who will do anything to stay within the group.
Just like a family and this is what these children want, they want a family, they want to be close to someone, they don't know that, but their basic needs know what they want, this gang do things to keep in with the nucleus, shouting, fighting, stealing, just to stay with their family, the only real family they know.
Until society starts fixing its self and stop abandoning these children who have been abandoned by the only people who should make sure they are part of a stable family, one that doesn't include, drugs, alcohol, violence, abandonment, one that opens their arms and hearts to stop children trawling the darks streets looking for someone who will show them attention, make them feel good with lies and temptation, introducing them to drugs, crime and heartache.

Sorry this went on a bit, also please excuse the comprehension the fibro fog doesn't make it easy. I really care about what happens to these children, they may behave like thugs, but they are doing it for attention and love, you tell them that and you will end up with a mouthful lol [/quote]

frogmorton

[Standing by for the obligatory attacks
[/quote]

Got a problem with my laptop Rehab and cannot do any smilies atm.....

unable to muster a decent attack with the a/c ones... :evil

one thing to bear in mind is that those children who some are scared of now....are society's future parents :shock:

now that....is VERY scary

tkachev

Also they don't like to leave men alone with young children incase they are wrongly accused by the children. With 2 adults present this is much less likely to happen.

Elizabeth

elainebadknee

Hiya

Well i think in roles such as teachers/learning assistants its just the way the world is now due to terrible events happening. Yes it is a little OTT but i guess these establishments have to be safe and check, double check, triple check. Same with photogrpahers, there is a minority that have spoiled scenarios you desrcibe and people calling police at drop of a hat...If you know youre cohsa however you have nothing to worry about....
The world is changing, its not nice but then again you still get things such as male nurses in female wards/vice versa and if you nip to loo it can be any gender cleaning it too...As with the workplace, everything you do is monitored, some arent even allowed loo breaks without being penalised...You also now have to obtain your own CRB check now, something an employer used to have to do but now its your repsonsibility..It never used to be this way but it is.....

Elainex

PPPeter wrote:

Like I said in my post I have worked with children for many years I trained and worked as a learning support assistant in a primary school and I will not as a male go into say the art cupboard with a pupil male of female alone, I will wait outside and I will tell them where stuff is, I work one to one with children again I will not without a member of staff being able to see me of in the case of working in the music room I will have 3 pupils with me. When I was doing my placement I did so long in a primary and so long in a secondary school and while I was at the latter and being the only male on my course and the only male member of the support staff, I was still with the other women who worked in the secondary school, I was quizzed one day and why I wanted to work with children, if I knew the job wasn't a mans role or a mans pay, I felt that I have been tried and convicted of being some pervert who was doing the job to get near children, I was so disgusted that I reported it to the head of the support dept and she said Oh they were only helping you understand the role, by pointing out the good and bad parts, I replied I had many years in social work working with children and I have never in all my years felt so much an outsider and I was wrong in doing the job.

As a freelance photographer I have to also be very careful when covering events which includes children, I have been stopped by people asking me why I was taking photographs of the children, I once asked a family if I could take a photograph of them after I handed them my card with my information on and told them what the photo was for, I even offered the a free 10x8 print, the mother turned me down, after that I went home to work on what photos I got, just to say that, you do not need permission from anyone to take photos if you are on public property. Anyway I was home about an hour and a police woman phoned me to ask me if I was taking photos in Montrose, I said yes and told her that they were for a clients business website, the officer said is that all, she (the mother) dialled 999 and told police that there was a pervert taking photos of children, the officer apologised to me and I said she even had my card, which the officer replied yes I know I have it here, but we still have to come and see you.
So her and another officer came the next day, had a quick chat, said that they will speak to the woman and may even warn her about wasting police time.
All this is pure media hype, it is like the US in the 50's seeing commies around ever corner, not its perverts around ever corner waiting to steal your children.
The cases of child abuse hasn't risen, just the reporting it has, like most crimes we hear about it quicker and more often because of TV and the internet.
In school if a child is crying.....no hugs (ssshhhh but we do), if a child need sun cream or even a medical cream....we are not allowed the parents has to come in and do it. on a couple of occasions I have had to deal with children wetting themselves I would take to the sick room, give them dry clothes and then wait outside. Now I refuse to do that duty, I will not leave myself open to a stroppy kid accusing me of something.

elainebadknee

Hi PPPeter

I totally agree with you re the CRB thing, it should be like on a national database where anyone can see what you have or have not done and if like you say you work for same employers but need to go to another school to cover then the same iformation should be passed on and not a seperate CRB check to waste time adn do it all over again..
You are also right it is men and women who offend, look at Vanessa George? I have to admit have never heard about the offence with boobs before, but learn something new every day.
I have however worked in a witness care unit alomgside police and they get away with lots, speeding offences, drinking, bad behaviour, emails that can cause offence to lots of people....
You are also right with the clothing issue, why make a child act like a young adult, thats wrong and really when the world is so sensitive to other matters it should govern this better...

Hoe you do enjoy your job after alll this....

elainex

PPPeter wrote:

After all I have said above I have for one joined the campaign to tighten up the CRB, at the moment the CRB is like an MOT its only valid for the day its issued. Fred Bloggs applies for a job in a nursery and as standard he fills in the CRB form hands it in its checked and he gets the job, but Fred Bloggs has been sexually assaulting his 5 year old niece for a year now he has access to children who cannot say what is happening. We have seen this happening, not with just Mr Bloggs, there has been Mrs Bloggs as well. It is very difficult for employers to sift out those who are going to do harm. Angus council have a policy which goes a bit further in helping to weed out the offenders is for instance I am working in school A and because of sickness I am asked to go to school B I then have to have another CRB check. What should happen is that everyone who is CRB checked go onto to a central system were any offences from speeding to murder as soon as that persons details are entered into the central crime computer a CRB flag up, so immediately that any sex crime is done the employer is notified. Now saying that there are offences which also can affect the outcome of a CRB is urinating in the street, depending what police officer you get you can be charged with exposer which is a sex crime and will rule you out passing a CRB check there are some very minor ones that will also go against you, exposing your (female and not man boobs I know some men's are bigger) breasts on a public beach. I have nothing to hide whoever can check me out to their hearts content.
My focus is on the kids and make sure that they are safe, that they know when they do not feel safe they know what to do and most of all they are allowed to be children, unlike the child on TV this morning 8 year old and her mother gives her Botox injections and the other mother who gave her 9 year old a gift voucher for a boob job. Come on we have shops selling padded bras for 5 year old, Playboy t shirts and underwear for 10 year olds, they are forcing children to grow up far to fast and that is were some of the problem lays, I was still playing with action man at 12 & 13 (and my sisters barbie but don't tell) its about time parents stood up for their children and said OK Santa is real, the Easter Bunny does bring your 12 year old son eggs, babies do come by stork and fairies do live in the bottom of the garden.