Trying for a baby can anyone relate??

Ros33

Hey i am new to the forum my name is Roslyn and I am 33 I was diagnosed nearly 2 years ago after suffering symptoms for 3 years. The reason i joined the forum is My husband and I are trying for a baby and have been for a year and although I have lot's of friends trying to get prgnant none of them are dealing with the added complication on RA. I just wondered if any of you have had experience with this? At the moment I am also in the middle of a flare up and have been taken off all atni imflammatorys (which really help me) with only pain killers and sulfasalazine (which isn't that effect) to tret my syptoms. On top of that my consultant is putting pressure on me as she fears that if I go on too long I will cause permanent damage to my joints!!! Everyone around me is telling me to relax and that's when it will happen but that is hard when you are in constant pain and worrying that you will cause damage to your joints!!

Wow sorry I really needed to get that out :eek:
It would be such a relief to find someone who can relate to this experience.

Roslyn

tillytop

Hello again Roslyn

I'm so sorry you are struggling at the moment. I don't have children but I know there are lots of parents on the forum and I am sure someone will be along to share their experiences soon.

Love Tilly xxx

stickywicket

There are some young Mums on the forum & hopefully one or other'll be around tomorrow. I did have my 2 sons after I got RA bt that was long, long ago and my experiences probably wouldn't be relevant to you. I do hope someone comes along soon who can help.

skezier

Hi Roslyn,

Said hi to you over on Tilly's post but just dropped in t say welcome again and hope that some of the others will be able to help you when they see this.

If you search in the search box there is a very long thread with several mums input on it. Its here somewhere and I can't remember what it was called but search pregnancy and it should come up.

Huge amount of help on that one. I often wonder what happened to them all actually. The thread could have been started by Bluefish possibly...

We know Jen was the proud Mum to Harry last year but there were so many others.

Nice to meet you and so hope you can get a bit of input from those who have been through it all and got their lovely bundle of joy the other side. Cris x

Hey found it for you. Have bumped it up x

carola

Hi Roslyn

Welcome to the forum. Trying for a baby? Oooooh exciting!

I will be 40yrs in June and as yet not had children however ........ ssssh ..... don't tell anyone but we will be trying sooner rather than later.

I just have to sort the meds out first. I have SLE (a form of Lupus) and this causes PolyArthritis. Symptoms are somewhat currently under control and amongst many meds I take Methotrexate which you are not allowed to be pregnant with. On Tuesday there the hospital called me to tell me to stop taking the meth immediately as it was doing something to my liver.

Sooooooo, I am really hoping that it hasn't been the meth that was working and my symptoms do not return as this means that we can start trying! The good news is for me as a Lupus person is that during pregnancy all bad symptoms seem to disappear however return with pow wow afterwards!

So, as I have no experience, all I can say is good luck, keep positive and remember that when it happens to enjoy and cherish the preganancy above all else as I truly believe babies are a joyous miracle and you should have an absolute ball of a time!

Keep positive, Carol x

[Deleted User]

Have a look at this thread http://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15427#184643

stickywicket

Carola - Mine's RA but in my first pregnancy it just disappeared. Felt fantastic. Never quite got used to the weird 'no pain' sensation. Like walking on air. We tried to calculate how many kids we'd end up with if I aimed to remain pregnant for the rest of my childbearing years. Then he was born and it all changed!

Second time round it was tough as all I was allowed was soluble aspirin (It was 1973-4). Took much longer to get stabilised afterwards. No third time!

kickyloo

Hi there, I'm in the same boat!
I've been trying to reduce and come off my meds since December as I would really like to have a drug-free pregnancy. Half way there at the moment and things have been really tough with the constant pain, and I haven't even got to the actual 'trying' part yet!! I'm 31 and had RA for 2 years.
I find it difficult that I have 10 friends who are either pregnant or just had babies at the moment. Whilst I am obviously happy for them, I'm so heartbreakingly jealous.
I wish you love and luck Roslyn and hope it happens for you soon. If you want to talk more, I do understand, feel free to contact me.
Nicky

tkachev

I had my daughter 7 years ago after being diagnosed with R.A. I wasn't trying for a baby and was aged 40 so a bit cross(wouldn't be without her now.She is a joy).I was only on sulfa and pain killers anyway so did not have to give up anything so just kept plodding along. I got no special care or treatment(which surprised me).
I think I was lucky that I didn't have the added complications of giving up strong meds and any already badly damaged joints which would suffer during birth and pregnancy. For me everything was fine but as SW says it is so hard to get stabilised again after the birth.

I know some on here gave up trying due to the pain of being off meds and had to decide whether to get their health back on track before starting over again.

all the best
Elizabeth

sweetpea

Hi Roslyn (and Nicky),
I can totally relate to your stories. There were many of us in a similiar situation who contributed to a huge pregnancy thread with lots of tips and advice on there. I think it's been bumped up for you.

My advice would be to get your arthritis as controlled as much as possible and ask to see someone who deals in maternal medicine. If you read the thread you will see that I have very active Psoriatic arthritis and it took me over 3 years to conceive with lots of flare ups, 8 months off work and IVF to get there. I'm now nearly 37 and my very beautiful, HEALTHY and precious boy William arrived 6 months ago.

As for meds, I tried everything I could (sulfasalazine, aziathioprine) and eventually came off the nsaids and ended up on enbrel which I continued for the first 14 weeks. I know someone else who is taking Humira for the whole of her pregnancy. They didn't cause any problems for our little boy at all and the biologic drugs are used as fertility drugs in some clinics. Always best to check with the experts first though and weigh up the potential risks.

Good luck with it all and I hope you start to feel better soon with less pain. Feel free to message me if it helps.

Lisa and baby William

x

Ros33

Hey Guys

Thank you so much for replying I really appreciate it and it really means alot to know I am not the only one going through this. Thank you so much for putting the link up for me. I have my sister visting me this weekend (to cheer me up) so I will reply properly on Monday. i hope you all have a great weekend and thak you so much again.

Talk to you soon
Roslynxxx

skezier

Hi Roslyn,

Just doing a quick hi-jack.... x

Hi Lisa,

So happy for you and good to see you Cris x

Ros33

Hey Guys

Just wanted to thank everyone who replyed to my queerie I found the links really helpfull and hve ordered a book on pregnancy and parenthood with arthritis I will let you know if it's any help. I wish anyone in the same boat lot's luck and hope that we can keep going until our dream of a family is realised Good Luck Love Roslynxx

Ros33

Sweetpea

I am so happy for you and congratulations of your little boy Williamxx

Anna76

Hi Roslyn

Wow, someone who understands. I am feeling just like you! I am 34 and have been off Methotrexate and on oral steriods for 2 years in the hope to get pregnant. This hasn't happened for us yet and we have had some outside pressures that haven't helped and I am now going through a flare up. All my friends have babies and no one seems to understand how pressurising it makes you feel having RA, trying to hold down a full-time job and wanting to get pregnant. I have been off work the last 2 weeks as am trying to change to Sulfasalazine but feel so ill on it. The hospital make me feel pressurised for being on the oral steroids but I can't help I haven't fallen pregnant. The pressure inside me is just immense and like you, I feel I can't relax with it hanging over me all the time.

You are not the only one and I would always welcome a chat anytime.

xxx

Ros33

Hey Anna

It really does help to know you are not the only one especially when you are surrounded by people who seem to get pregnant so easily and just don't get it. I had friends over this weekend who atarted asking if we would get a surrogate if I couldn't have a baby becaue of my RA. I was totally gob smacked that they thought it was ok to ask as something so personnal!!! I also need to keep focused on being able to have my own baby and have that experience. That is when I really realised that they didn't understand as you wouldn't say that to someone in this situation I have just gotten my head round my RA I'm not ready for the possibility that I can't carry a baby cause of this disease!!

I'm going to try really hard to focus positivly and keep going as long as it takes and I'm sure it will happen soon.. I really hope the same for you and it does help to talk about it (I feel so much better know I have written about this weekend) so feel free to contact me anytime.

love Rosxx

jenzie06

Hiya
I had Harry 13 months ago tomorrow (where the hell has that year gone?) and there was a lot of amazing support on here.

If you can, try and find the book Arthritis, Pregnancy and the Path to Parenthood by Suzie Edward May. I did the review for the Arthritis care magazine. I did feel like she was writing about me!

Having a baby whilst suffering with RA (and Fibro) is tough but do-able. The most physically challenging part was when he was about 8 months old as he wanted to walk about ALL THE TIME but he needed to be supported. All he wanted to do was walk up and down the living room which was a killer on my back. I used reins from very early on (which was like having my own thunderbirds puppet) which helped a little. He's now walking with no problem and is now started to climb everything. But some of his friends are not walking. It's all pretty variable.

Hope you have success soon! Don't worry too much, you cope with having a baby because you have to. It also does get easier as they get older. Although I can no longer go to the loo without an audience....

Jen

wendgro

Congrats on trying for a baby I am past baby days now but many many years ago a friend of mine had RA and was in a wheel chair, she did the swimming and physio etc but to no avail then she got pregnant and by some miracle the RA went into remission she was just like any of us with a new baby walking no wheelchair she went on to have another child a few years later and appeared to be "cured" I lost touch after a while so don't know if it ever came back but I always remember thinking that miracles do happen sometimes.