Two Davids and a skezier.
dreamdaisy
Member Posts: 31,520
As some of you may know I have been having trouble sleeping recently. Last night was another disturbed night - but not for the usual reasons. Last night we aquired some unexpected houseguests, in some unexpected parts of the house.
I wobbled off to bed last night, at about 11pm, struggling with a surfeit of beer and Mr DD's fish curry (yum-yum on both counts), put the headphones on and fell asleep. Woke up at some point, took the 'phones off and dozed off again. Woke again at about 2.30 due to a few muffled thuds, the sound 'Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' being hissed very loudly and some giggling. I was somewhat dopey with the dullers, couldn't work out where the noise was coming from but decided it was probably one of the next doors (I live in a mid-terraced house) so turned over and dropped off again.
At 4am the old bladder made its presence felt, so I reluctantly got out of bed and started the wearying trek downstairs. When I reached the bottom I saw that to the right there were a few of those aluminium cases so beloved of photographers. This I could not fathom, so I turned left and made my way alolng the hall. Through the open dining room door I could see the table - with a lump on it. A lump that was flat on its back and gently snoring. I recognised the patrician profile, the pale blue shirt. 'Hello, Mr A,' I thought 'If I'd known you were coming I'd have baked you a cake.' ('cept I wouldn't, I ain't that kinda gal.) I made my way into the kitchen - there, underneath the breakfast bar was another curled shape, wearing a blue fleece marked 'BBC OBU' and with its head resting on one of those Dougal micropohones, so beloved by sound recordists. 'Ah.' I thought.
At the back of the kitchen lies our bathroom (in a separate room, I feel I must stress that fact) and the door was closed. The bathroom door in this house is never closed UNLESS SOMEONE IS IN THERE. My heart began to sink. I knocked, gently.
'Go away! This is a pwivate moment, I am doing my beard gwooming, it's part of my beauty wegime!'
'You may well be doing that, Mr Bellamy,' I replied 'but it's 4am, it's my bathroom and I need a wee. Get out, now, or you may become far more closely aquainted with me than you like.'
He grudgingly (gwudgingly?) emerged, tweezers and comb in hand. We glared at each other.
'What the heck are you two doing here?' I asked. 'We've been in Holland, filming ware cweatures that wun wiot in the **** and dwainage systems,' he replied, 'Now we are making our way to Conwall to help SPLINTER.' 'Who or what is SPLINTER?' 'It's an organisation that David and me founded last September, it's called the Skezier Protection League, It's Never Terminated, Eternally Ready. The ware Cornish skezier has to be captured and given its life enhancing medicine. We know fwom past expewience that the skez is not keen on this and we thought we should be there to help the fwogmorton, the tillytop, the dorcas and any of the other skezier-type cweatures that are there to help bwing her in.' 'I know who's on the table,' I said, 'but who's under the worktop?' 'That's Weginald, our sound wecordist. Wupert, the camewaman, is on your woof.'
Stwewth! :shock:
Next week out lovely skezier has to undergo her ghastly, ghastly treatment. Some of you older members here (older as in joined more than ten months ago!) may remember that when her September infusion was not going well I 'contacted' Messrs Attenborough and Bellamy to make her giggle. That's why they're here again.
Good luck, cris, if I could have it for you I would. DD
I wobbled off to bed last night, at about 11pm, struggling with a surfeit of beer and Mr DD's fish curry (yum-yum on both counts), put the headphones on and fell asleep. Woke up at some point, took the 'phones off and dozed off again. Woke again at about 2.30 due to a few muffled thuds, the sound 'Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!' being hissed very loudly and some giggling. I was somewhat dopey with the dullers, couldn't work out where the noise was coming from but decided it was probably one of the next doors (I live in a mid-terraced house) so turned over and dropped off again.
At 4am the old bladder made its presence felt, so I reluctantly got out of bed and started the wearying trek downstairs. When I reached the bottom I saw that to the right there were a few of those aluminium cases so beloved of photographers. This I could not fathom, so I turned left and made my way alolng the hall. Through the open dining room door I could see the table - with a lump on it. A lump that was flat on its back and gently snoring. I recognised the patrician profile, the pale blue shirt. 'Hello, Mr A,' I thought 'If I'd known you were coming I'd have baked you a cake.' ('cept I wouldn't, I ain't that kinda gal.) I made my way into the kitchen - there, underneath the breakfast bar was another curled shape, wearing a blue fleece marked 'BBC OBU' and with its head resting on one of those Dougal micropohones, so beloved by sound recordists. 'Ah.' I thought.
At the back of the kitchen lies our bathroom (in a separate room, I feel I must stress that fact) and the door was closed. The bathroom door in this house is never closed UNLESS SOMEONE IS IN THERE. My heart began to sink. I knocked, gently.
'Go away! This is a pwivate moment, I am doing my beard gwooming, it's part of my beauty wegime!'
'You may well be doing that, Mr Bellamy,' I replied 'but it's 4am, it's my bathroom and I need a wee. Get out, now, or you may become far more closely aquainted with me than you like.'
He grudgingly (gwudgingly?) emerged, tweezers and comb in hand. We glared at each other.
'What the heck are you two doing here?' I asked. 'We've been in Holland, filming ware cweatures that wun wiot in the **** and dwainage systems,' he replied, 'Now we are making our way to Conwall to help SPLINTER.' 'Who or what is SPLINTER?' 'It's an organisation that David and me founded last September, it's called the Skezier Protection League, It's Never Terminated, Eternally Ready. The ware Cornish skezier has to be captured and given its life enhancing medicine. We know fwom past expewience that the skez is not keen on this and we thought we should be there to help the fwogmorton, the tillytop, the dorcas and any of the other skezier-type cweatures that are there to help bwing her in.' 'I know who's on the table,' I said, 'but who's under the worktop?' 'That's Weginald, our sound wecordist. Wupert, the camewaman, is on your woof.'
Stwewth! :shock:
Next week out lovely skezier has to undergo her ghastly, ghastly treatment. Some of you older members here (older as in joined more than ten months ago!) may remember that when her September infusion was not going well I 'contacted' Messrs Attenborough and Bellamy to make her giggle. That's why they're here again.
Good luck, cris, if I could have it for you I would. DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
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Comments
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I was just about to get on the ADDLIB panic phone line then..
Aaaarghh D D's Lost It, Bigtime...
Me-Tony
Ra-1996 -2013 RIP...
Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP0 -
I have, but hey-ho, it'll pass! I am in full FATBROAD mode at the moment, but worried about my little Cornish mate. I know how tough this is for her.Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
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'ware cweatures that wun wiot in the dwainage system' DD you do make me laugh, eagerly anticipating the next instalment of Messrs David...
Love n hugs xxx'grá agus solas'
'Love and Light' translated from Irish. X0 -
One newer member no longer baffled!! :shock:
I will join in to wish Cris all the best for her treatment.0 -
Weally bwilliant news that the Davids are back again (not for you, DD, having them in your house though, sowwy). I'm camping in the undergrowth tonight, weady, with my binoculars and butterfwy net, to spwing into action at the first sign of the ware Skez. Have laid a CDM twail but think the Skez may be too clever to fall for that so may have to wethink.
Will have evwything cwossed for you Cwis.
Love and ((()))s
Tilly xxx0 -
I am wapidly becoming used to this insanity & must say it suits me just fine.. :shock:
Wight, I will weawwange any pwe-made plans I had alweady awwanged and pwepare for some wawe skez wepowts..
Gwapple mi gwapefwuits, this is weally not easy :shock: :shock:Me-Tony
Ra-1996 -2013 RIP...
Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP0 -
I am speechless. This is a first. My husband would like me to convey his deep gratitude.If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright0 -
stickywicket wrote:I am speechless. This is a first. My husband would like me to convey his deep gratitude.Me-Tony
Ra-1996 -2013 RIP...
Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP0 -
Bless you, each and every one. I put this on to cheer our very dear friend on her way but something has happened. I had a text from frogmorton who is, thankfully, in Cornwall. Cris herself may post (I think she may be sleeping at the moment) but I hope it's OK by her for me to tell you that the infusion won't be happening. DD
PS I have just seen that she has posted on her advice kinda needed thread to let people know.Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0 -
loved the story dd, what an imagination you have.......read it yesterday but I think I must av been alf doped as today it sank in. Durrrrr
Sorry about cris being delayed and hope it happens soon.
Lovely that frogmorton is there to lift cris' spirits.
Juliepf x0 -
Even older members were baffled. I thought Mr DD had had a late night party without telling Mrs DD! Or it was a nightmare!!!!
How on earth do you cope with a toilet downstairs?
Good luck to Skezier.
ElizabethxNever be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no ones definition of your life
Define yourself........
Harvey Fierstein0 -
Painfully. It's OK during the day, just unpleasant at night. :roll: We bought the house nine months before the arthritis began. :roll: Never mind, the next house will have more than one facility, that's a given. DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
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Hi,
So sorry Chris has had it cancelled.....I havent read that thread. I did know Toni was there to support her and Chris was so grateful for that.
Poor Chris.....sending you loads of (((((((((((())))))))))))
Love
Hileena0
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