New here and would like some info. please

Seabreeze

Hello everyone, I was shocked to find out that I had OA and have been prescribed Naproxen plus Cocodamol for the pain. My partner has left me because he said that I am moody and my personality has changed. I am getting worse, cramps in feet, numbness in toes and use a walking stick. I am yet to apply for DLA and have read other postings on this forum and they seem to be rejected which is so unfair when one is geniunely disabled. How does one get classed disabled? Is it the Jobcentre or my doctor? I am working full time but also feel that I am unable to do my job properly. My boss is not sympathetic. She wants to see my full medical records! Presently on sick leave. My health is suffering and beginning to feel that my sanity is too. I have no support from my family at all. My children have left home and unless they want money, then they call me. Sad situation.

constable

Well joining this forum you will have a new family. Regarding your OH it sounds like you are better of without him anyway if he could not see that you are ill and need support. If I was you I would go to my doctors and talk to them, explain what is happening to you, in your social life and at work and ask for their opinion on how they can help you.

You will be greeted by many people, and if ever you want to sound off, let it all go. If you just want a chat about anything go to chat forum where you will find vals cafe and you can have a virtual drink and a chat.
I shall see you around the forum.


Karen xx

julie47

seabreeze, welcome to the forum from me too.

So sorry that your oh has deserted you in your time of need.

I am glad you have found this forum they are a good bunch on here
always ready to give their support and knowledge.

I think as constable says , you should speak to your doctor and consultant and hopefuly they will help you.

Take care
Juliepf x

Poppyg1rl

Hi Seabreeze,
Firstly, welcome to the forum I'm so sorry youve had to join us though, arthritis in any form is pain, pain, pain :sad: im also sorry your OH has left, youve every right to be low my dear.
All the people here are caring and supportive, we know what is like to suffer from this blasted disease, you are among friends.
Welcome again and hope to see you posting soon x

kneegirl

Welcome to the forum of warriors xx

tillytop

Hello Seabreeze and welcome from me too.

I am sorry to read that you are having such a tough time with everything at the moment. I think the advice the others have given about talking to your docs is good advice and might help you to work out what steps to take next. As for your employer - they have no right to see your medical records. They can, with your permission, ask for a report from your doctor about your condition but there are strict rules about this and you have to be given the opportunity to see the report before it is sent.

You will be made very welcome here Seabreeze, and hopefully now you have joined the forum you will feel less alone with it all.

Thinking of you.

Love Tilly xxx

barbara12

Hi Seabreeze
Im so sorry your OH has left you to it...wonder what will happen if they ever need help...anyway you have us lot now.
If you are working put a post on working matters, has for the DLA they decide after looking at doctors notes or your consultants
Yes people are being turned down, but they appeal and if they have to appeal again.
Has for your family , please dont think you are on your own there, mum and dads bank.. :roll:
I do hope you stay with us, we do like to support one another, and you always have someone to talk to.
You take care

Seabreeze

Thanks to all of you for the kind words. I am now a new warrior, on the war path and fighting the pain, like everyone else on this forum. I watched Britain's got talent last night and winced when the dancer Raz jumped onto his knees and walked on his knees. I cannot even kneel down anymore, dogdy knees and ankles, too much sport in the past. Can no longer cycle, play tennis, go jogging etc. My knees creak, need oiling. Thanks for your words of encouragement. Will make another appointment to see the doctor.

skezier

Hi Seabreeze,

Its hard sometimes flower it really is.

Its good you found the forum cus this lot are so kind and good at holding you up even if you feel swamped by it all.

Like you I came unstuck with a partner over health issues... huge kick in the teeth actually but in my case it was easier without ..... some partners are now worth holding on to I guess and when you feel unwell and they ... well you sadly know how it goes.

Mine had this theory that if he left I was young enough then to find someone else.....Someone who could deal with my conditions and be there for me..... yeah like thats going to happen..... Don't know about you but that was enough hurt and unset fr a lifetime.

There is just one thing you have to remember. You are stronger than you think flower. Its a hard thing in so many ways and the lower you feel the more you have the pain.

Like you I have a whole chunk of oa and its giving me hell on and off now since I was a teenager. That makes me lucky cus I grew up with it so may be I challenge it better (or too much )

We do all find our own way to deal with things and how ever hard it is for you now just remember it will pass and you will have some good days. Leaving you a cyber ((( ))) and nice to meet you. Cris x

katie5

hi seabreeze

sorry you are having a rough time but as everyone else has said you'll find lots of support here and there is always a kind word or two.

take care

Katie xx

elnafinn

Hi Seebreeze,

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read your story. I have oa and have had two new knees, three toes done, I am about 7 weeks post op with that, oa in thumbs, neck creaks, groans, pain in shoulder. You know the pattern of it. :roll: I am surprised that you have not been prescribed any anti inflammatory med though. Is there a reason for that, I am wondering.They really help me to function. I notice the difference if I do not take them for example before an op or similar.

Sending you cyber hugs
Elna x

speedalong

Hi and welcome, you will get lots of great support and advice on here.

Speedy

hileena111

Hi Seabreeze
Welcome to the forum.....I'm sorry to hear your story....He probably wasnt worth holding on to anyway although you mightnt feel like that at the minute
Well.......any time just come on and vent....we'll be here for you
Love
Hileena

tkachev

Hi Sea breeze and welcome to the forum. You have had a lovely welcome from everybody and great advice so I can't add much more. Just don't give the kids money if they're not helping you!

Elizabeth(who gets asked for money all the time)! x

theresa4

HI Seabreeze

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. The OH is best gone if that unnsuppoortive at this early stage.

As for your kids they need to put in some time if they want bailing out. Personally I wouldnt bail tyhem out at all. I have a friend who has done it for years shes able bodied and out of a housefull of 4 adults shes the only one with a steady income and they make sure shes working for all of them to sponge of her OH is a waster but theyve been together 28 years and hes always been one. Her two kids seem to think its ok prob due to example of OH to take her last pennies out of her purse and to top it all her daughter even thinks its ok to spend money on herself then demand her mum by her daughters nappies and baby milk.

Shes finally seeing the light and is tightening her purse strings they are kicking and screaming all the way but shes determined that she gets something out of her hard work for a change.

I know its easier said than done but dont let the kids use you for money. If you are struggling with work now there may come a time you wont have enough to go around everyone else and then it will add to your stress at a time you dont need it when you have no choice but to say no.

Its different if maybe they come and do a bit of cleaning or help with your weekly shopping maybe you could suggest that.

Hope you are feeling more positive now you have somewhere to post and discuss things. Theres always someone ready to support or answer questions.

(((()))))

valval

welcome seabreeze to sorry arther is visiting he does make life difficult. as for you changing personality, it all part of the pain and exhaustion it affects us all. although we all cope differently we all help each other come here when you need help, suport or just a laugh never be lonely you have loads of new friends now who you can say most things to as we are all in the same boat he has lots of names but the pain and suffering affects us all. hugs val

Seabreeze

Hello Theresa

Thanks for your reply. I had problems with my computer last night and after being in pain all day, a visit to the doctor, blood tests etc. it was the last thing I needed. I rang my son and he came over the fix it, he is an IT Engineer (qualified but unemployed at present) but had to pay him.

I am off work at the moment and struggled to just get out of bed this morning. I have to exercise for half an hour a day minimum (doctor's orders) and I can no longer use my stepper due to oa in my knees and ankles. I am not able to do all the cleaning in my house and my kids don't help, never mind the garden. Apart from me looking after any plants that are in pots, the rest of my garden is beginning to look like a mini jungle. I am trying to sell my house because it is too big and cannot cope with the stairs any longer. A flat would suit me.

I am concerned about the money situation because I will have to eventually give up my job in retail which involves standing all day and it will be a struggle coping on just benefits. I phoned the Job Centre and was told that I would have to go on ESA only if the doctor feels I am not fit for work or else on Jobseekers. I cannot live on that kind of money a week. Food, gas, electric, water, insurances etc. It is stressful just thinking about the future. I have received the forms for DLA and have to fill it in. Don't know where to start, some questions are similar. Have a nice day and hope everyone on this forum is not in too much pain today.

Maria.